FR: Monday night and my game is lagging

[Elation]

So my wing and I go out last night. We’re chilling at X-bar and we run into a couple of other PUA’s I know. We start chatting and the topic of warm up sets comes up. Now, everyone knows the real way to pickup is to hit at least a couple solid warm up sets before you start looking for which girl you want to actually work on.



However, being the little men that we are, none of us have yet pushed ourselves into solid warm-up sets. So we agree to “f-it lets push each other” So my friend spots a 3f-1m 4-set behind us. I look over, see that the girl is smoking cloves and dive in to bum one from her.



I tease and bust on the girls, mixed with friendly chitchat. Now, I can sense that this set is already attracted to me. I don’t know if they’ve already spotted me before and saw me dancing in the main room, or if they just thought I was cute, but for whatever reason they are all digging on me. Meaning the girls are now in “game-me” mode. So I decide to sit back and let them hit me with their best shot.



My target precedes to neg the hell out of me! First thing, she bust me on being 18 (I’m 21.) She was 28 but young looking and didn’t have as strong a frame as me. However I do look like a baby. Then she tells me to lick my lips (very nice neg.) She mentioned something about her doing something with her boyfriend very briefly (she may have a boyfriend, but I kind of doubt it… she probably was trying to make herself more attractive via false-disqualifier) I don’t remember all the things she pulled out of her hat but there was a lot of them. Then she goes back to get stuck on the age thing again, FOREVER. That girl would not stop mentioning that I was 18.



Now we end up flirting around for at least an hours worth of time, mixed in with takeaways and me walking around with my wing to give them some space. Then she moves into talking to other guys as a way of making herself more attractive. It SUX. I don’t want to go blow guys that don’t matter out for no reason. I don’t want to waste my game time befriending strangers around us to look social. I don’t want to stand there while she talks to people and I’m not chatting with anyone (I HATE chasing.) We both end up leaving the bar about the same time with weak smile goodbye and a quick turn away from each other.



OK, so what went wrong? That’s why I’m writing this. I left pissed off at the stupid girl. I mean c’mon! I’m the Mr. Hot stuff here, why do girls think that playing hard to get is going to make me like her more. And plus it didn’t even feel like she was playing hard to get so that I would chase her. It felt more like she all of the sudden decided I wanted her and she lost attraction for me because of it. Well that’s dumb! What, so I show interest in you and all the sudden you aren’t interested anymore? Why can’t you just like me for me!



But no, the more I think about this, the more I’m starting to see how I messed up. Ok, lets play this out on a sub-communications level; here’s what really happened. She has a guy who she thinks is slightly out of her league come chat her group. So her first objective is to try and make me self-conscious. She wants to tear me done to where I show some vulnerability so that she can feel safe being attracted to me.

The problem with a lot of the really hot, awesome stud guys who reek of confidence is they aren’t really players. They get laid all the time but they’re just sluts. Here’s the difference; a player has skill and can pickup a girl who requires effort and who doesn’t just sleep with guys because they have dicks. The player gets girls because he knows how to give them what they want. Sluts only know how to give girls their penis and are only able to give it to girls who only want their penis. They look hot and have money or something but they’re only tools for the girl to use at her own discretion and don’t really know what they are doing. Why do I bring this up? Because some girls don’t want sluts (or what they would call a player. Actually, technically I heard that a player is a guy who flaunts his promiscuous nature in girls faces until one decides she wants a ride. But IMO a player is a guy with skill who knows how to play the game and seduce the girl) ANYWAYS, some girls don’t want to do a guy unless she feels it’s genuine attraction on his part. And I don’t blame her; I mean, for her to trust a guy enough to let him control her emotions she should at least feel that he actually likes her a little bit and not as just a piece of meat to use.



This would be part of my problem last night. I mentioned to my wing that I didn’t find her THAT attractive. She was cute but only about a 7-7.5 plus she had braces on her top row of teeth (yes, apparently 28 yr olds get good dental insurance) But I was like, it’s cool, it’s good practice and she’s worth fucking so why not. However I let that subcommunicate into the way I talked to her. Instead of showing genuine attraction for her as a person, I just flirted around and teased her until she got tired of the heat and decided to cool herself off. I saw it the last time I kino’ed her strongly.



See I have this thing; I can sense how kino is going be the way it feels inside me when I touch her. If she enjoys it, it feels soft and pleasurable, like when you’re in bed together. And when it’s unwanted, it feels like a little tinge or ting inside, like static electricity just stirred around inside my gut. I’ve trained myself to pay close attention to that instinct and it helps me a lot in my game.



So I’m kinoing her (head pats, affectionate cuping of her head in my hand, my arm around her neck in a teasing manner like you would do to your little brother if you were going to give me a nuggie, brushing my hand up and down the back of her arm, etc) most of it in a teasing, dominating flirtatious way. And she enjoyed it a lot when I started moving that direction. But at some point I think she felt she didn’t know how to talk to me as a person instead of just teasing me. And even though we were having fun, It’s my responsibility as the man to lead the interaction in the right direction and start up with the rapport. I eventually have to give her reasons why I’m attacted to her beyond simply here looks (especially if I’m better looking than her) Otherwise she will never feel safe being attracted to me. So the last time I dominantly kino’ed her, she pulled away.



I also could have spent more time befriending her friends as a way to gain social value and pressure on her. However, her friends liked me enough that if I made her feel wonderful, I don’t think any of them would have been a problem at all.



All this is largely an issue of timing. When to phase shift, when to lead, when to kino, when to up the sexual tension, when to kiss, and when to close. I just suck, that’s all.



Well there’s next time.


-Strapper

[Vector]

You have to show interest eventually or she will get confused as to what you're about. It is possible to show interest and have her not lose attraction, but it's all about why you're interested. She has to know why.

In your description I didn't see anything about that. It sounded like you got her attracted and then tried to coast from there.

Tell her that you just noticed that she has an [adjective] aura about her -- she has a really [another adjective] energy. You can say that you like it or you can let it be implied.

Or you can appreciate something specific about her.

After that you can coast haha..