FR: Role reversal, the fPUA

[OpenCheese]

I am new to this community and this actually happened before I joined, but in retrospect, I think it is an experience others might find useful to contemplate and may spawn useful discussion.

I went out to a bar with a couchsurfer I am hosting on a Friday night. We are out for awhile, and he wants to go back (he was Asian with an alcohol allergy, not the biggest party animal), but I convince him to play a couple of games of pool.

Before we start our first game I notice an HB7 and we gave eachother looks. IOI on both sides I guess. I didn't do anything about it since this was hospitality night, not a sarging night. At least not with this guy as the wing.

After the first game, another two guys come up and want to play a game (these guys were her friends) so you can either look at it that I got social proof accidentally, or they were her opener. I tend to think the second more likely, because after about ten minutes she suddenly showed up with lots of interest in me (which was fine by me). First we were talking as a group, and as I was talking to her friend while she was in the bathroom she came back and briefly grabbed my hand (kino). Her friends then disappear and it is just us. I know there is acronym for isolating the target, but can't remember it....

We are talking for awhile about various things and she number closes me at some point.

Everything was going fine but then she made it really clear that she had a very hateful attitude towards men in general and became sort of aggressive. It was pretty strange and it was when she messed up her game. Call me weird, but I find a girl with a lot of hostility/hatred towards men to be unattractive and lose my desire for her. It completely killed the mood that she had worked to create up to that point (and which I rather enjoyed.)

After looking at this forum for a couple of days, I guess this could have been some sort of shit test (or she was just drunk). However, I think the problem here is that it isn't the PUA (or fPUA) that does the shit test. This would only ruin your chances with your target. Although, perhaps in general there is more leniency for the fPUA or just for women on stuff like this. They can usually get away with saying crazy things.

Anyway, after having a conversation for a short time about why she thought men suck and are inferior (and why I thought that was wrong). At some point I realized that my attraction to her had withered substantially and decided that continuing the conversation wasn't worth my time anymore.

As I was going home she texted me so I would have her number. I didn't reply.

It has been a few weeks and I haven't tried for a day 2, and I don't really intend to. My philosophy is that there are so many girls that I can afford to be picky.

[OpenCheese]

I forgot to mention the whole moral of the story. A lot of particularly bad AFC probably hold a lot of frustration and hostility toward women for not being successful in the past. This is an attitude you must absolutely not have. It is useful to think of women as "targets" and more of a number than a person or a means to an end for our purposes, but there should be not hate or resentment. For one thing the girl you just met doesn't deserve that, for another it will show and it won't help your game.

It certainly killed my interest in this girl, and I imagine it is even worse when the genders are reversed.

[ninjamatt]

Don't fall for female Pua's. women who approach men first almost always have too many issues. Most the male friends or relatives or co-workers I've had over the years all fell for the woman who made it obvious they wanted them first or the female pua. All of them would tell you if they were honest, they underachieved. Most were/are miserable. One got dumped by a gold-digger when his business slowed down, and was so distraught now only dates black women. Some are just stuck with their 6's when 9's walk by wondering what the hell he saw in her.

The ideal good ole fashioned american hot babe that doesn't have all the issues, wants the right guy to approach her. She doesn't have to approach, in part b/c it makes her look desperate and classless.

[OpenCheese]

Ha ha. I am not too worried about girlfriends. That is not my intention at all. In fact I am very Leery of commitment period. I can count on 1 hand the number of people I know who have stayed married for longer than ten years. In one example of many, my brother just went through a divorce and despite cheating on him and making more money than him (she is a nurse, he is a teacher) she tried to make him pay child support and take on half her debt she got from gambling. Fortunately he had a good lawyer with a powerful charisma and got her to agree to a more reasonable settlement before going before a judge, but that wasn't until the day of court so it could have been (and usually is from what I understand) a lot worse for him. Anyway, with how marriage and child support systems are set up, I feel that LTR carry a lot of risk with not enough reward. The family man is screwed by the system left and right. I don't want that guy to be me.

You seem pretty certain that any girl who goes for the guy first is someone to steer clear of. And I could definitely see how that might be true. Seems reasonable enough. But still, how can you be so certain that EVERY girl like that is bad? From what I can tell there are plenty of guys with women who didn't approach first and they are just as miserable.

[ninjamatt]

Ha ha. I am not too worried about girlfriends. That is not my intention at all. In fact I am very Leery of commitment period. I can count on 1 hand the number of people I know who have stayed married for longer than ten years. In one example of many, my brother just went through a divorce and despite cheating on him and making more money than him (she is a nurse, he is a teacher) she tried to make him pay child support and take on half her debt she got from gambling. Fortunately he had a good lawyer with a powerful charisma and got her to agree to a more reasonable settlement before going before a judge, but that wasn't until the day of court so it could have been (and usually is from what I understand) a lot worse for him. Anyway, with how marriage and child support systems are set up, I feel that LTR carry a lot of risk with not enough reward. The family man is screwed by the system left and right. I don't want that guy to be me.

You seem pretty certain that any girl who goes for the guy first is someone to steer clear of. And I could definitely see how that might be true. Seems reasonable enough. But still, how can you be so certain that EVERY girl like that is bad? From what I can tell there are plenty of guys with women who didn't approach first and they are just as miserable.

you are a smart guy with your first paragraph. The marital system is set up to favor women. The ideal woman these days to me, is one that doesn't want kids. Maybe she has 1 already and half grown, preferably female b/c they are less trouble, and she doesn't want another kid. The thing is, eventually you would be wise to find something to marry. Playing the field is fun when you are young, but when you get 30's to 40's and up it's nice to be out of the game b/c the drive for steady companionship outweighs the fun of the chase and variety.

To address your second paragraph, I am speaking in generalities. There's an unwritten rule in society that says men should approach and pursue the woman. Men who want the woman to approach, or who want the woman to make the first move to seduce, are the losers of the world.