A Night in the Life of an Urban Lion

[Guest]

I would like everyone who came out last night to post their version of events. I think it will be interesting to see things from a different perspective and fill in some of the gaps alcohol has taken.

We meet at glorias around 9:30 for dinner and drinks and bullshitting. I skip dinner and have 4 margaritas. I become intoxicated. We decide tonight is going to be a good night. We head over to black friar. I get a heineken (bitches love foreign shit). I see a girl I like, my current opener is..

Lion - I love you
Girl - Really?
Lion - Is what my friend prodigy wanted to say to you but he's too shy. He's right over there.

I say this to several girls and it's funny every time. I pulled at least 3 numbers but I can't be positive which opener I used.

I think at some point playercool asked me to wing him on a 2 set so I open them with something like "We're all 4 gonna go on a double date tomorrow for hot chocolate. He's going to be my date." We get to bullshittin with the girls, one is tall and one is short. I pull a bro and hop on the tall one (you owe me sucka!). Anyway, I get to talking will tall girl and at some point she mentions punching me in the face. I say wow you're aggressive, I only like feminine girls, not masculine girls. I give her some shit like that, her words are becoming a little aggressive and defensive but her body language is just melting right into me. At some point I have my arm around her and pull her in very close to me, she has a very lean body but dammit she is tall, and I go into detail about my pseudo-chauvinistic views and she eats it up. I have her punch her # in my phone and it's a done deal.

Throughout the night I have been trying to hook ladies up with my boys. This is becoming my new favorite thing to do because it's win-win. I open up a lady or set up ladies and then talk up my bro and disqualify myself as a potential suitor. There are 3 possible scenarios with this method.

1) She likes my bro. Great. I'm happy for him. (unlikely)
2) She likes me because I have disqualified myself. (likely)
3) She doesn't like either of us. (who cares)

I remember doing this quite a few times. It's a super easy way to open and get a beatrice interested in someone.

At one point playercool and prodigy are in a 2 set. I bump in, don't have a clue what I said, blow playercool out, get the # of the girl he was talking to. I'd be very interested to hear about this situation from everyone else's perspective. I would also be interested to hear what I said. I vaguely remember telling the girls we are all going on a double date for hot chocolate tomorrow.

We roll to the joint next door and the bitch is dead, so we go to the next joint down which was fucking super packed. It's just me and prodigy at this point. By this point I'm pretty drunk. There is a bartender at this joint that prodigy is gaming so he says hi and all of a sudden 2 fucking shots and a beer appear. I'm obliged to take them. Bad idea. Now I'm annihilated drunk. I grab a random girl from prodigy's phone and text her "hey hooker". She responds "hey ass..." which is hilarious considering she doesn't have my #, so she can't possibly know who I am. I go downstairs and hang by the door. Looking back at my phone this is what I texted Prodigy..

Lion 1:47 - Where r u
Lion 1:48 - I'm by the door
Prodigy 2:04 - lols in drunk haha
Lion 2:05 - kik i alreafy keft

Clearly that last shot murdered me. I get home and eat a piece of blueberry pie. And then I vomit for what seems like hours. I even wake up from being passed out and I'm vomiting on my bed. I realize what I'm doing and start vomiting in the vomit pan I have set beside the bed. I wake up this morning with the worst hangover I can remember. I don't even get out of bed until 1pm. I have to force myself to get up and put some jeans on and go out to The Great Outdoors and eat a couple sandwiches. I get back home and the smell of blueberry vomit hits me like a cool summer breeze.

I look at my million texts from the evening before and I have to laugh out loud at this one.

Lion 12:57 - Where you at..
Grimm 2:09 - Goddamn it I walked to social house.
Lion 2:11 - Its closed
Grim 2:11 - Shut up

Anyway, there are a thousand numbers in my phone and I don't know who's who.

Let's hear your stories, gentlemen.

[Guest]

Holy shit, what a night. I don't think any of us was not drunk. Honestly, the night was mostly a blur except the very end. You seem to recall quite a bit from your drunken stupor. When I get drunk, my memory is the first to go.

Started off at Gloria's for $5 margarittas. Wow, didn't think it was possible to get alcohol that cheap in uptown, but damn, those things will fuck you up.

The rest is very spotty and blurry. I remember going to black friar and drinking multiple drinks (that's multiple drinks I should not have had). I remember me and playercool somehow pissing this girl off so much that she said "you guys need to jump off a cliff and die." It seems like we had multiple girls mad at us, not sure if we were just that big of an asshole, or if its the holiday cheer in uptown.

I remember talking to this one girl and she was telling me about this pet she wants to get(I forgot the name of it) and she showed me a pic on google images. It was pretty much a giant gerbal. And when I say giant, I mean the size of a midget. It was crazy. It's like some animal that comes from australia or something. I don't know. I forgot what happened...

Then hours later we somehow get to sfuzzi. Everyone complained about it and went and stood in line next door at a super packed place. I said I hate lines, and went back to sfuzzi for a few min....then went back to the place with a line.

I finally get next door where everyone else is. I somehow make it up the stairs to the second floor. It is like 1:45 and I am being giving a shot of 4 horsemen. The responsible thing to do would be to decline since I not only am about to drive home, but I also have to work in the morning. Well, I'm not responsible and accept it.

The rest is forgotten up till our friend Prodigy slams his glass on the bar counter, breaking the glass and resulting in a gash in his hands. The bartenders are pissed off. I apologize for my drunken friend and try and get him outside, the whole time he is stumbling, can't walk straight, and almost falling down the stairs. I get prodigy back to my car and drive him to his place that's like 1/2 mile away since I am the more sober one out of the two of us. Which, I might add, is an odd thing for me to be the most sober in a group.

I manage to make it back up 75 and back to my house, collapsing in bed round abouts 3 am. I set my alarm...I need to get back up for work at 7:45. Damn it, working weekends sucks. Everytime I go out when I have to work in the morning I tell myself that I will make it a short night and leave around 11 or midnight. But it never happens and I end up being tossed out of the bar at 2:15 am.

I wake up today, and find that one of my credit cards are missing, Shit. It's gotta be at the bar from last night. So after work I drive back out to Black Friar and see if they have my card. Nope, don't have it. Shit. So I get back home and start looking through my jeans I was wearing. Nothing. So I am about to call Chase and get it canceled when I noticed it wrapped inside my receipt from last night, sitting on my laptop. Score.

That's all I got. My memory is fuzzy, I am sick of typing this up, and I am tired. I'm going to go take a nap now.

[Guest]

ah...where to begin... :confused:

Lion, Playercool, Grimm, Gunslinger and I began the night at Gloria's for dinner and margaritas. were all having an AWESOME time, immersed in conversation--just shooting the shit, listening to Lion tell us about his sexual adventures as a young boy. dinner, 3 margaritas and two hours later, we end up at black friar.

black friar was PACKED with alot of talent. i continue to booze it up and have a few (not sure how many i had) of their strong crown and sprites. we walk outside and i see Lion and playercool in set with the tall and short chick. im just standing around when i see the neighbor, we'll call HBBrunette, of a girl i use to date.

i open her and we just start talking, conversation flowing naturally. sure, it helped that i was pretty drunk at this point. im talking to her while playercool is winging, talking to the short blonde. i remember stealing her glasses, rubbing her arms (cause she was cold) and holding her close by the small of her back.

at some point, lion comes in and blows PC out...but for the life of me, i cant recall what what he said. while lion was winging now, he physically picks her up. so then i turn to lion and pick him up.

HBBrunette: he (lion) picks her up and you pick him up, now i feel left out.

so being the gentleman that i am, i pick her up. long story short, i number close hbbrunette with my classic iphone number close.

we bounce to sfuzzi's. it was dead, so we went to renfield's corner.

PC, grimm and gunslinger didnt want to wait, so they went back to sfuzzis. lion and i stay and go into renfields and head immediately upstairs. we order a beer and a four horseman. we drink our drinks and at this point, i am just OBLITERATED!! just absolutely hammered.

lion and i decide to head downstairs, but as we're walking, i see a girl giving me eye contact. in my drunken stupor, this is how our conversation goes:

Prodigy: hi im Prodigy. i find you absolutely intoxicating and just had to introduce myself (i think thats what i said--its kind of a blur...)
HBBlackhair: wow, no one has ever said that to me before

and then we just chit chat for a bit and i see pc, gunslinger and grimm walk up and i eject.

im at the bar trying to close the bartender and im sure im just saying some really stupid shit. i see carnal and solace walk up so i greet them and i buy everyone four horsemans. i drink it, when i clearly shouldnt have. it hits me like a freight train and i am done. i remember not being able to really stand up and somehow slamming my beer on the counter and cut my hand.

im bleeding profusely and get kicked out.

im stumbling down the stairs but as im on my way out, i see hb blackhair. i have no recollection of our conversation, but i woke up this morning with her number in my phone.

as drunk as i was, i still managed to number close two chicks.

gunslinger drops me off and this is when it really gets interesting.

i enter my lobby and stumble to the elevators just as pc is walking up with a girl he pulled from renfield's corner. i remember crawling, literally on my hands and knees, into the elevator, lying on the elevator floor with my hand bleeding all over. there were some people in the elevator and im sure they were just thinking "wtf...!!"

we go upstairs and i run into the restroom and throw up all over my floor and into the sink. i strip down to my boxers and tank top and lay down on my bed. pc gives me a trashbag and i just continue to throw up into the trashbag.

i pass out.

a couple of hours later, i wake up to the girl pc pulls rubbing up on my cock and blowing me. im SO DRUNK im just like wtf, but roll with it.

she strips down and gets naked, and starts riding me. im still fucking wasted and need to throw up, so i push her to the side and throw up into the bag while shes still on top of me. we continue to fuck and i cum in her mouth and dont even remember her leaving.

i wake up throwing up and continue to so until 4-5pm. my stomach is still fucked up as im writing this.

it was definitely a fucking interesting night. i will not be drinking for a while....

this is not the best FR i've written, as details from last night is just a blurr..

[Guest]

My stomach is still uneasy from drinking Saturday night...I didn't even think that was possible...

man only if someone recorded all of this on camera, I wouldve loved to see how it all really went down and how much of a fool i (our group) was...