Funny Email Conversation

[Guest]

I guess I'll post this here, if for no other reason as an example of a funny conversation. I don't know whether I'm going to follow through on this one. Somebody told me she's saving herself for marriage. Could be an interesting challenge.

Her (in response to me telling her I made a t-shirt online):
"any broncos gear?"

I guess I teased her about being a Broncos fan. I don't remember.

Her:
":-) heh"

Me:
"Sure. I'll make a t-shirt for you. It will say, 'ask me about my questionable taste in football teams.'"

Me:
"It's a good thing you have other redeeming qualities. You can cook, right?"

Her:
"lol i have lots of redeeming qualities!
i like football, i can cook football snacks, i drink beer, :-), and i am cute.
so ha. even with bad 'taste' in football. LOL.
OOH lastly redeeming quality: I thikn tom brady is hot!"

Me:
"You are quite a catch. It's too bad you're off limits."

Her:
"Ha damn u get dumped and now ur off limits lol somethings wrong w that lol hope every guy didn't get that memo ha"

Me:
"I didn't even think of that. I was just thinking it would never work between a guy from Rhode Island and a girl with an eye patch. But if you keep pursuing me like this, I may be forced to change my position, so to speak."

I said that because she posted on facebook that she was getting lasik surgery.

Her:
"Lol two eye patches if they Botch my surgery today lol but I guess after being a puppy being a pirate was my second childhood dream....yar, to be honest having a girl who's a scurvy sea knave is hard on any man so I understand.
However u would no longer have to hide ur love for the broncos behind the patriots facade!"

Me:
"Two eye patches... we would save a lot on blindfolds... you make a compelling argument, XnameX Blackbeard XnameX.
What time is your surgery?"

Her:
"In twenty minutes! Fingers crossed!"

Me:
"I know it will go great and you'll have a quick recovery. You will be able to see the difference between good football and bad football in no time."

Her (the next morning):
"uh oh the surgery was a disaster..i still like the broncos!!!!!!!"

Me:
"Maybe they gave you a lobotomy by mistake. That shit happens all the time."

Her:
"lol saweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet does that make me a smart blonde?"

Me:
"Yes, honey, now stop eating your crayons."

Her:
"but red ones taste like PIZZA. NOM NOM NOM NOM."

Me:
"Ha ha! You are funny. I guess I can let you root for whatever team you want."

I should have gone a different direction there.

Her:
"Lol whew and to think i was just getting ready to slip over to the dark side of partirots football...........another bullet dodged."

Her (two days later):
"everytime i see this email in my box i'm always like OMG wtf do i have a PELVIS tshirt email? LOL really that's the best subject line you could come up with."

Me:
"It's a great subject. I should use it to sell Viagra.
How are your eyes? Have you gone full pirate yet?"

Her:
"my eyes are fabulous! i'ts amazing!
i went to top golf and actually coul dsee my ball and where it went!!!
only icky thing is that they bruised my eye, so it looks all crack eye bloody HAHHA
EWWWWWWWWWW."

Her:
"Viagra..........Really are you implying i have trouble with sexual dysfunction!"

Me:
"I wanna see. Sext me a picture of your eyeball."

I like to use the word "sext" instead of "text" in any consext. See, I did it again. She texts me a picture of her eyeball and we start a side conversation, shown below.

Me:
"Sexual dysfunction? No, not you. I think I know how you went blind in the first place."

Her:
"HHAHA told you it was gaross! Hey..........how awesome is it tha tfootball is starting again! !!!!!"

Here's the text conversation:

Her (with picture of eyeball): "Hahah i look freaky up close lol"
Her: "Hahahah sorry u asked now eh? Isn't that gaross!"
Me: "That eye patch might not be a bad idea"
Her: "Hahahahahahah"
Her: "Ass"
Her: "I look pretty for a crack fiend"
Me: "This is cool. It's like I'm talking to two hot girls at the same time, only one of them has a weird eye thing and the other one is a broncos fan"
Her: "Hahaha I know double the XnameX fun eh? Two technologies lol"
Me: "Double the XnameX fun... and my head didn't asplode"
Her: "Yet my friend yet!"

[Guest]

She has a great personality - funny, good natured... she must be fat.

Btw I can't support this given that I'm a lifelong Broncos fan. John Elway is the greatest of all time, ever, period. I also like the Cowboys but...zero respect for Tony the Homo as he is the sole reason they've been mediocre for the past couple years instead of great like they should be. But he still nails hotter women than I do. Damn you Tony Romo, damn you.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;37287]She has a great personality - funny, good natured... she must be fat.

Btw I can't support this given that I'm a lifelong Broncos fan. John Elway is the greatest of all time, ever, period. I also like the Cowboys but...zero respect for Tony the Homo as he is the sole reason they've been mediocre for the past couple years instead of great like they should be. But he still nails hotter women than I do. Damn you Tony Romo, damn you.[/QUOTE]

Joe Montana is WAAAY better than John elway...

Sorry for the hijack rhody, but she definitely seems like a cool chick. You should try for the sake of the challenge....

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;37287]She has a great personality - funny, good natured... she must be fat.

Btw I can't support this given that I'm a lifelong Broncos fan. John Elway is the greatest of all time, ever, period. I also like the Cowboys but...zero respect for Tony the Homo as he is the sole reason they've been mediocre for the past couple years instead of great like they should be. But he still nails hotter women than I do. Damn you Tony Romo, damn you.[/QUOTE]

She's not fat. I would almost say she's hot. She's somewhat tall, has big breasts, long blond hair, blue eyes, dimples, fun and outgoing personality, but there's something that keeps her in the 7 to 7.5 range. I can't quite explain it other than to say she has a lack of polish, almost trashy. That's why I have a hard time believing that she's a virgin. She seems like she's up for anything.

Also, I don't really have anything against the Broncos. I like Josh McDaniels.

[Guest]

This chick is way cool. I was thinking the same thing as Grimm though. She seems like she's fat or at least used to be fat. Same difference really.

I think there may be some validity to her being a virgin, or at least uncomfortable with sex. You went sexual a few times and gave her easy chances to bite, she didn't. Instead, she changed the subject.

Anyway, just because she's not very polished doesn't mean she's had sex. Some women never really learn who to be sexy and sexual. It seems to me she's the fun, cool girl that has very little idea how to be anything other than a tomboy of sorts.

Obviously, this is a complete shot in the dark because I've never met her.

I think Elway and Montana were fairly equivalent. I'd say Elway was better because he didn't have the same supporting cast that Montana did for all of those years. Elway's resume shows that he could lead a mediocre team deep into the playoffs and when he finally had quality players around him to a couple Super Bowl victories. I doubt Montana would have been able to lead a mediocre team to the same level of success as Elway did.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Rhody;37289]She's not fat. I would almost say she's hot. She's somewhat tall, has big breasts, long blond hair, blue eyes, dimples, fun and outgoing personality, but there's something that keeps her in the 7 to 7.5 range. I can't quite explain it other than to say she has a lack of polish, almost trashy. That's why I have a hard time believing that she's a virgin. She seems like she's up for anything.

Also, I don't really have anything against the Broncos. I like Josh McDaniels.[/QUOTE]

One thing that sucks about the written word - I was not serious at all about the fat thing, it made me laugh. I hate explaining jokes, but anyway... it's funny because it's rare and amazing when you meet someone who's both a cool person and sexy at the same time, so much that you doubt it.

There again, maybe she's psycho.

And the Broncos are an oddball and yokely team to like, but I was raised in Colorado where John Elway is a cult. I'm just pulling your leg a little bit there.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=grimm1111;37295]One thing that sucks about the written word - I was not serious at all about the fat thing, it made me laugh. I hate explaining jokes, but anyway... it's funny because it's rare and amazing when you meet someone who's both a cool person and sexy at the same time, so much that you doubt it.[/QUOTE]

I did laugh. That's the other thing about the written word: you don't necessarily get the reaction.

[quote]There again, maybe she's psycho.[/quote]

It's possible. Many chicks are psycho.

[quote]And the Broncos are an oddball and yokely team to like, but I was raised in Colorado where John Elway is a cult. I'm just pulling your leg a little bit there.[/quote]

Again, I got the joke. Then again, I wasn't sure you understood that I was busting on the Broncos just to playfully break rapport with her rather than being a serious Elway hater or something.

[Guest]

One reason I doubted that she's a virgin is a few months ago I ran into her at a strip club. She was there with a cool looking guy. (Maybe it was one of you. That would be some coincidence.) Anyway, I don't know many virgins who are saving themselves for marriage, but that didn't seem like a virginal thing to do.

Anyway, this morning I noticed that she also wrote on my faceook wall at the same time we were having the dual conversation:
"Thought i'd Facebook u so u can get the whole XnameX experience today hahah next is actual stalking haahahha"

I think a girl writing on your facebook wall is either purely platonic or somewhat territorial.

So here's today's conversation. I was too busy to keep up with it today though, so it's pretty lame.

Me: "I looked at facebook this morning. STALKER!"
Me: "Remember the time you followed me to the strip club?"
Her: "Hahaha except I had no clue I was at a strip club"
Her: "Lol until about 4.2 seconds later when I walked in"
Me: "Yeah, ok, I believe you"
Her: "Lol haha it was kinda funny cuz 1 I was wasted and 2 was on a date an then 3 was all like hi XRhodyX lol just to realize I was at a strip club haha class"
Her: "Boy jaguars strippers aren't hot tho"
Me: "Really, which strippers do you like?"

blah blah blah