Learn from My Mistakes

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Bull Run;35575]And, I guess that's the point I was getting at. The real question seems to be can you easily reset an expectation that has been set by eHarmony that she is meeting a potential boyfriend / husband? It seems to me that an expectation like that is not easily rewired, if at all.

It seems to me that you need to rewire her during the e-mail volleys and on the phone (yes, I think you need to break out the phone on this one to blunt the idea that you are boyfriend/marriage material). But, then do you find yourself in a catch22? Do you find yourself in a situation where by trying to rewire the interaction to be more casual does that mean you lose your appeal because you're trying to blunt the dynamic of being marriage material?[/QUOTE]

Good point. I don't know the answer to that.

I agree that it has to be rewired from the get-go. eharmony has so many questions that are about how you are with your partner or what you expect from your partner, that it perpetuates that expectation. So you would have to choose your questions and write your answers to clearly set a new expectation such that by the time you talk on the phone or meet in person, if you get that far, you aren't fighting against the role she has already put you in.