Bros Before Hos?

[Guest]

This is a field report with a moral dilemma mixed in.

I have a friend who's somewhat AFC, not in the community.

One day a bunch of us were hanging out, and I noticed this really hot woman, who was there by herself to watch a football game. I chatted her up, introduced her to our group, and sat her down right in the middle of everybody so she would feel at home. My friend and I agreed that she was really hot. I don't know why, but I stepped aside and told him to go for it. I even found her on facebook and told him to add her so he could pursue her. I set it all up for him.

More than three months went by and he didn't get anywhere with her, not even a phone number. Just facebook bullshit. In the meantime, HB has been contacting me on facebook. So I got her number and invited her out with a bunch of people last night. She came all dressed up with high heel boots and a shirt that kept falling off her shoulders. Looking hot! She sat down next to me and we hit it off well. My friend showed up later and I know he saw me working it.

We all bounced to another bar. When I went to the bathroom, my friend made sure to sit next to HB so I couldn't. I was already secretly texting her some banter stuff, so I continued. She was eating it up. Then I texted her, "I'm going outside to get some fresh air. Come with me." In the meantime, my friend texted me the following:
"Ha.. So i made HB come tonight.. Now were goin to the movies... Booyah"
After a few minutes, he said really loud, "so, Rhody, what do you have to say about what I texted you? Huh?" Obnoxious! He had a big shit-eating grin on his face. He was rubbing my face in his apparent victory. When I got his text, I had second thoughts about following through, but when he taunted me I got competitive.

Then, HB texted me, "Ok let me know wen am bout to go to the ladies so get me after." When she got back, we went outside together. I sat her down and gamed her a little, did a comfort routine, and kissed her. Then I brought her back inside. Eventually, I sat next to her so my friend was on one side and I was on the other. This is when I noticed that my friend was seething. His hands were clenched into fists and he was staring up not making eye contact with anyone. It was really uncomfortable. I'll admit, though, that I kept up with kino and teasing with the HB even though I knew he was mad.

We all parted ways. HB and I parked near each other so I kissed her again.

Later that night, my friend texted me. He was being all pissy about how I stepped on his toes because he invited her out and I should have said something to him before taking her outside. He was trying to be the better man by saying he would have stepped aside if I just said something. On one hand, I want to be a good friend, because we shouldn't let a woman get between us. On the other hand, he had no problem making it a competition when he thought he was winning. To go from that douchey text to acting like he's above it all was even further douchery.

Are there different rules when your friend isn't in the community? I know my wings wouldn't get upset if I was already gaming a girl, isolated her, and kiss closed. But I also know my wings wouldn't wiat three months before getting a phone number. Isn't there a statute of limitations on claiming a target, even among AFCs?

[Guest]

Hmmm. This is tricky. On the one hand he did invite her out. On the other hand he acted like a bag and will never get anywhere with her.

Final verdict: You gave him 3 months. Forget it, she's all yours.

[Guest]

Either you left something out, or I don't see how "he was rubbing my face in his apparent victory." What I do see is the behavior of someone with almost 0 options.

You, on the other hand, are probably someone with many options. If he is a good friend, then I would have either discussed it with him first, or just let him be happy with having her as a Facebook friend, and gone and done my thing with other chicks. Abundance.

[Guest]

If this other guy is an equal to you in the ability to meet women then fair game.

If this other guy has a hard time meeting girls and you don't, then I would let him have her. It will mean a lot more to him.

This is not a rule, it is just my take.

[Guest]

My buddy and I get into similar situations where we are both going after the same girl. However, we don't let our competitive sides get the best of us. The one who has the best shot, or wants it bad enough is the one who proceeds. If its not clearly defined then we talk about it. We both give and take at different times keeping things balanced.

A little communication beforehand could have clarified each others intentions and alleviated an uncomfortable situation.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Lazarus;35179]Either you left something out, or I don't see how "he was rubbing my face in his apparent victory." What I do see is the behavior of someone with almost 0 options.

You, on the other hand, are probably someone with many options. If he is a good friend, then I would have either discussed it with him first, or just let him be happy with having her as a Facebook friend, and gone and done my thing with other chicks. Abundance.[/QUOTE]

Well, there is a lot I left out; otherwise, it would have been a novel.

I said he is "somewhat AFC." He is a good looking kid (to me), can dance, is funny, and he gets chicks. He brought a cute girl to my Super Bowl party. But he does have some AFC tendencies. For example, here is something he posted to facebook:
"Pack of smokes 6 bucks, gas to get to work 10 bucks, watching the guy next to me fail at getting the girls phone number in front of me.. you know the rest. Lol"
Now, I admire the guy for trying, but an AFC likes to see other people fail at getting girls.

When I said that he was rubbing my face in his apparent victory, I meant that it was apparent TO HIM that he was winning. From his perspective, he sees the following: he told her about this basketball game with a group of peolpe and she showed up, he was sitting next to her and I wasn't, and he made plans with her (and other people too, so it wasn't a date) to go to the movies. That's why he was being a smug douchebag. And that's why when I took her outside it looked like I pulled her right out from under him. But PUAs can see that he really wasn't getting anywhere with her. He was sitting next to her in a booth and they didn't even "accidently" touch elbows.

Another thing is when we walked to our cars, she commented on how he was acting. He made her uncomfortable, so he probably blew himself out anyway. She also said that he mentioned his girlfriend to her, and while she thought he was cute, that turned her off.

I understand your point about being a man with abundance. That's how I felt three months ago. Now I want to fuck her. Some of you guys said that I could stand to be more of a dick. This may be one of those times where I think I should just be honest with him and tell him, "I am sorry you were upset by my actions. But we're men and we can work this out. I want to fuck her."

What's the point of "giving" her to him if he isn't going to get her?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=UncleHOwie;35183]A little communication beforehand could have clarified each others intentions and alleviated an uncomfortable situation.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's where I was a douche. In hindsight, I realize I could have pulled him aside and stated my intentions. In fact, I'm still going do that.

[Guest]

Rhody- this is just some stupid ho, 99pct of them are. Don't risk your friendship with your buddy.

[Guest]

Basically you have to decide if your friendship with this guy is more valuable to you than fucking this girl.

[Guest]

Rhody I don't know you all that well but the 2 or 3 times I've seen you out or hung out with you, you have seemed like a really good guy. In my mind this post shows that you actually care about your friend at all.

You are completely right that it would have been stupid to "give" him something he couldn't have gotten. This is a situation where guy code has to supercede pua code. Man, sometimes you just have to let your boy strike out first and then ask his permission to pursue her. Do you really need his permission... No. Would this change the outcome at all... No. Would your friend feel more respected overall... Yes! Basically he would be a dick if was being possessive at that point. The right thing to do would be to put the ball in his court. That way if it happens anyway he is the one that is being bitter and petty. His douche-waffle-ness doesn't excuse your own even he doesn't have the maturity to understand his wrong doings. Take responsibility for the way you handled it wrong and tell him you won't pursue her unless it's ok with him. Give him that chance to be the bigger man that he wanted in the first place.