Need a good text to follow up the email

[Guest]

I have been working on my online game using chemistry.com I could use some feed back on my emails and any good openers I can send her in a text message would be helpful.:confused:

Read the emails from the bottem up
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[INDENT]Omg...you have me laughing so hard.

I passed my hit man training months ago. Now I'm a bad ass "Mrs. Smith" using a ballet instructor as my cover for a 'real job'.

I love music. In my line of work I HAVE to love music. Linkin Park is currently in my cd player in my car.

Well, I'll have you know that I did pay my cell phone bill this month. In fact, I wanted to see if you were worthy enough of my number. Because once you call me...your coolness factor will increase 10 fold. So, I wasn't sure if you could handle it or not. But seeing that you are in Hit Man Training...perhaps you're ok. But don't say I didn't warn you. The day after you call me...you'll have this glow. It's crazy. And people will say "What's happened to you?" And you'll reply with: I talked to K. And then all will be clear to them.
682-XXX-XXXX

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From: J
To: K
Date: Wednesday, September 23, 2009 4:51:00 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: You got mail

J wrote:
K,

Right now I am in Hit Man training. It is pretty much hell every day but I can now shoot the wings off a fly at 100 feet away. O don’t worry we only kill bad people.

As far as IM goes here at Skull Crusher Mountain “that what me call the training grounds here”. It's a no go for at least 2 more days. I have to kill a bear in hand to hand combat but if I win I get to use IM wish me luck.

The song that I play most on my IPod is Savior by Rise Against. Nothing gets me up and going like some good tunes. How about you what the song that gets you hyped?

I see you skipped giving me your number, I understand a few too many guys in there 80's asking you for foot rubs. Or maybe you could not pay you cell phone bill this month and your emailing me form the public library because they turned it off. You should of told me I would have started a fund raiser for you.

Any way I am a fun and great guy that wants to see if we click so what’s your number?


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From: K
To: J
Date: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:34:00 PM
Subject: Re: Re: Re: You got mail

K wrote:
Hey J,

So what exactly do you do for a living?

Do you ever use any instant messengers?

I have never seen Wicked. I love plays though. Even before I started dancing, I was involved in the theatre. In fact, I played Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. I love being on stage.

I think I need to invest in starbucks too. I tallied up all my receipts one week and it nearly made me sick how much I spent. My drink of choice is usually the green tea lemonade with a piece of banana bread. Though I love their java chip fraps as well. Oh heck...I like it all. LOL.

Psst...btw...change shear to share on your profile. I don't think you want to shear your life. Hahahaha.

So, what's a current fave song of yours right now?

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From: J
[/INDENT][INDENT]To: K
Date: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 4:07:00 PM
Subject: Re: Re: You got mail

J wrote:
Thanks for the response,

Most spontaneous thing I have done huh? I went online one Friday and purchased tickets to Wicked the musical. I have never been to a musical and I liked the book. So I dragged a buddy down to San Antonio to see a play, one of the best weekends ever. Labyrinth is a great movie! The scene where she is surrounded by the guys that can pull off their heads is one of my favorer parts the song always gets stuck in my head. My favorite move has to be fight club with Mirror Mask a close second.

What's something that even my friends may be surprised to know about me? That’s a hard one as I tend to be an open book. I very random and crazy one at times, Still if anything I guess it would be my fear of heights but I really want to go sky diving wired right ?

I am all ways ready for a good time. I do have a Starbucks addictions I am sorry to say. I really should buy stock in that company since I invested so much in it all daily. A buddy of mine emailed me this story and it had me rolling if your sense of humor is like mine you will like it. [URL="http://www.funnyread.com/2009/08/08/188/"][COLOR=#0066cc]http://www.funnyread.com/2009/08/08/188/[/COLOR][/URL]

I am usually really busy at work and don’t get a lot of time to answer emails today is kind of slow…
what’s your number?

-J


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From: K
To: J
Date: Monday, September 21, 2009 2:26:00 PM
Subject: Re: You got mail

K wrote:
Yea, this whole online dating thing is total wierdness.

Motorcycles eh? Okay...goodbye then. Totally kidding. My Dad and brothers all own several bikes. I haven't been on one since I was a kid. I think riding as a passenger is a total trust thing.

Most spontaneous thing? I'm completely spur of the moment. From going to Ihop at 1am to leaving for the weekend with an hours notice. What about you? My favorite movie is kinda silly....it's Labyrinth. I can quote that movie word for word. I love it. That and Big Trouble in Little China. I always watch it when it's on. Again...what about you?

What's something that even your friends may be surprised to know about you?

-K

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From: J
To: K
Date: Monday, September 21, 2009 10:30:00 AM
Subject: You got mail

J wrote:
Hey there,

Writing an email to introduce your self to some one new seems kind of odd to me, who sends an email out to introduce themselves?

I like the fact you sound like a "get to the point kind of girl". By the way if you don’t like motorcycles then we have to break up... ha-ha. I am a pretty funny guy and I am always ready to have a good time. How about you what's the most spontaneous thing you've ever done? You got a favorite movie one you watch over and over again?

So lets talk sometime.

[COLOR=#888888]J[/COLOR]
[/INDENT]

[Guest]

Overall good job!

You did ask for her number too early. This girl likes you but wasn't quite comfortable enough. The first few exchanges were pretty average but you got it going with the "Hitman" thing and the guys from the 80's bit.

Making those connections and eliciting some emotion is always beneficial and you did a good job with this.

ps.

and way to bust her chops for not giving out her number when you asked the first time!

[Guest]

The Hit Man in Training bit was pretty good. And, busting on her for not giving out her number was also good.

The only suggestions I would make are as follows:

1) Via e-mail, I think it's crucial that you make sure that your spelling and grammar are as close to perfect as possible. I know it seems silly, but you need to understand that without having not established a physical presence in her life, then it means that you have much less margin for error. So, make sure that your e-mails are very, very tight with respect to sentence construction, spelling, and grammar. If you had meet her in person before, then it's not that big of a deal because they have a physical feel for you. Also, remember that e-mails lack a TON of context so if you mistype, misspell, or don't make your sentences ultra easy to understand then you can reflect poorly on you.

2) UncleHOwie was right. You did ask for her number too early. There aren't rules for when to ask, i.e. the 2nd, 3rd, 4th e-mail, etc. Instead its more of a comfort/rapport thing. You didn't have enough comfort to ask her. Sometimes you can build it in one e-mail, sometimes it takes 5 or 6. In this case, it was a little too early.

3) Watch what you're saying. Be sure to re-read everything and search for any sign of weakness, supplicating, or AFC-like behavior. Here's an example:

"I see you skipped giving me your number, I understand a few too many guys in there 80's asking you for foot rubs. Or maybe you could not pay you cell phone bill this month and your emailing me form the public library because they turned it off. You should of told me I would have started a fund raiser for you"

This was cash money dude. Great lines. But, then you followed up with this:

"Any way I am a fun and great guy that wants to see if we click so what’s your number?"

This was sad and pathetic. By far the worst thing you said to her in your entire exchange. The real problem was that it was the LAST thing you said to her. If it weren't for the line(s) immediately before it, I'm pretty sure you would have lost her right there.

You already did a good job of projecting that you were 'fun and great,' saying it, in this context, was very AFC-esque. I think you could have just omitted that line altogether and would have still gotten the number. Obviously, things worked out for you here, but that last line was a risk that you didn't need to take.

[Guest]

Just wanted to second Bullrun. Spelling and grammar is so freaking important. Write all your emails in word before you send them.

Notice how she corrected your spelling? All women notice these things. Women are naturally way more gifted at English than Guys. They notice all the small stuff.

When I first got into game I was new at texting. I hated it so I always did shortcuts and stuff like "U2" instead of "you too". I eventually changed this and always wrote my texts like I was writing a letter.

I have a friend who always wrote his texts perfect. I remember his GF telling me that is one reason she liked him because MOST guys write jibberish via text.

Emails are going to be even more important since you are actually using a keyboard and can type easier. So you have even less of an excuse here.

[Guest]

I wanted to add a couple caveats to the texting thing, I haven't read the other stuff so can't comment on that, but if she texts in short hand its safe to text likewise.

AND

Depending on the frames youre working, due to texting limits punctuation and shorthand can be sacrificed. Meaning if you are trying to text a frame, and the phone wants to send 2 messages, scratch it, and try and get it sent via one message, OR send one, and then send the second part manually.