# Close HB7...but what happened?

[Guest]

Friday:
So this girl is vacuuming the store before it closes, and I decide I want to talk to her. I've been there before, and we make small talk often. I say with a teasing smile "You missed a spot!". She eats it up. We start vibing and I get to the point that I consider comfort. Before I leave, I get her number. I text her and get some fun convo...but it goes downhill within a week or so...I don't know why

Monday:
I text her and banter. We get to a point where I call her my sugar mamma and she plays along.
Me: You're a bad sugar mamma! We need to talk...
Her: Well in my defense I didn't know I was gonna b one
Me: Haha fair enough. Maybe that's a good thing. I did have high hopes. In time you'll get better!
Her: Yeah...we'll see

Monday night (in person): We make plans to play some miniature golf for Thursday. I told her that I was going with some friends and she is welcome to join. She agrees. Somehow she brings up my ex (LTR 4.5 years) and finds out that I had broken up with her recently. She seemed sort of surprised. But, she changes the subjects quickly and we just banter for another 5-10 min.

Wednesday (Text):
Me: So most of my friends can't make it. Still want to come?
Her: Can I bring a friend?
Me: Sure
Her: Ok cool. Yeah I'm still up for it

Thursday (Text);
Me: We'll meet at at 7
Her: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I have dinner planned with my family so I can't come. I'm so sorry!
Me: Guess it can't be helped. Lemme know next time you wanna go. Have fun :-)
Her: I will let you know

Tuesday (Text):
Me: Work is boring. Say something interesting :-)
Her: Something interesting
Me: You forgot the smiley face
Her: No I didn't. I left it out on purpose
Me: Stop being so emo!


Haven't talked to her since. Things seem to have gone down hill since she found out I broke up with my ex. But...maybe it's not that and it's something that I did. Maybe too needy or texting too much. Any thoughts?

Anyways, I think she's hot and she is really intelligent/witty. We have fun conversations and I'd be ok with LJBF (although not preferred).

[Guest]

[QUOTE=sooners123;33122]Friday:
So this girl is vacuuming the store before it closes, and I decide I want to talk to her. I've been there before, and we make small talk often. I say with a teasing smile "You missed a spot!". She eats it up. We start vibing and I get to the point that I consider comfort. Before I leave, I get her number. I text her and get some fun convo...but it goes downhill within a week or so...I don't know why

Monday:
I text her and banter. We get to a point where I call her my sugar mamma and she plays along.
Me: You're a bad sugar mamma! We need to talk...
Her: Well in my defense I didn't know I was gonna b one
Me: Haha fair enough. Maybe that's a good thing. I did have high hopes. In time you'll get better!
Her: Yeah...we'll see

Monday night (in person): We make plans to play some miniature golf for Thursday. I told her that I was going with some friends and she is welcome to join. She agrees. Somehow she brings up my ex (LTR 4.5 years) and finds out that I had broken up with her recently. She seemed sort of surprised. But, she changes the subjects quickly and we just banter for another 5-10 min.

Wednesday (Text):
Me: So most of my friends can't make it. Still want to come?
Her: Can I bring a friend?
Me: Sure
Her: Ok cool. Yeah I'm still up for it

Thursday (Text);
Me: We'll meet at at 7
Her: Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I have dinner planned with my family so I can't come. I'm so sorry!
Me: Guess it can't be helped. Lemme know next time you wanna go. Have fun :-)
Her: I will let you know

Tuesday (Text):
Me: Work is boring. Say something interesting :-)
Her: Something interesting
Me: You forgot the smiley face
Her: No I didn't. I left it out on purpose
Me: Stop being so emo!


Haven't talked to her since. Things seem to have gone down hill since she found out I broke up with my ex. But...maybe it's not that and it's something that I did. Maybe too needy or texting too much. Any thoughts?

Anyways, I think she's hot and she is really intelligent/witty. We have fun conversations and I'd be ok with LJBF (although not preferred).[/QUOTE]

I don't have the full story, so I can only tell you what I would have done in the situation given the above details. In general though, I think you did well, since you were generally playful.

1 - did the "sugar mamma" thing come out of nowhere? Or was there roleplay involved a bit before?

2 - Wednesday text. I wouldn't have asked the question "still want to come?" What I've done before is "Change of plans. We're going to XYZ." Lead. Be dominant.

Also, did you really have a mini-golf outing with your friends?Just curious - never taken a girl to mini-golf, although it seems like it would be fun.

3 - "Can I bring a friend?" I didn't like the "sure" part, but I've never really been in that situation, so if I give an alternative, I'd just be KJing.

4 - Thursday. My default response to flakes like that is "That's cool - but you'll have to make it up to me."

If she really did have something, then she'll make it up to you ;)

I mean, she didn't even bother to tell you on Thursday that she had other plans, until you reinitiated contact. To me, that's just rude.

I also didn't like your "Let me know next time you want to go :)" because the vibe I get is that you're not a busy guy, or that you're willing to drop other things to meet her.

5 - Tuesday text. The texts I send out usually don't necessitate a response. So it would have been something like "Hey dork, [insert something cool you just did]"

---

Criticism aside, you did well. And take all of the above with a grain of salt, because it's mainly based on my experiences - both the successes and the fuck-ups.

Also, if I asked her, "Why do you think Sooners wants to meet up with you?" would she be able to answer that? In others words, did you qualify her? You say she's witty - did you tell her something like "You know what I find sexy about you? You're blah blah blah."

I would, at this point, forget about her. Others may differ.

I'd also go out and talk to a bunch of other women over the next week.

[Guest]

[I][B]Tuesday (Text):
Me: Work is boring. Say something interesting :-)
Her: Something interesting
Me: You forgot the smiley face
Her: No I didn't. I left it out on purpose
Me: Stop being so emo![/B][/I]

You did decent except for this last bit! This was just horrible. You are asking her to entertain you. It doesn't work that way with chics. You didn't exactly project "value" here. Girls like to be entertained.

I'd say overall this chic really isn't into you. You have to start the texting every time and she doesn't add much to keep it going. I'd only spend time on this one if I didn't have anything better to do.

[Guest]

The sugar mamma thing sort of came out of nowhere. I got her to agree to say yes to a vague statement I made. Then I said "sweet ou're my new sugar mamma" and then we started role playing

I did play mini golf. It works pretty well because the girl will cheat and you can make a competition out of it :-). Also many oppurtunities to bust on her

You make a lot of valid points. There were a lot of responses that could have been much better and more playful. A thing that stood out for me was "Lead. Be dominant". With that mindset a lot of the issues would have resolved themselves.

I did qualify her. I kind of over teased her at one point and she asked "is there anything you like about me? I said
you are a herd and like to read books...that's rare nowadays
you like golf which is fucking awesome
you're witty intelligent and can vibe well

I then asked her what she liked about me
you have a great sense of humor an you're fun
you like golf
you're a geek (we established that geek and nerd were best)

some point after that she told me tht she would love to be a writer

[Guest]

[QUOTE=UncleHOwie;33125][I][B]Tuesday (Text):

You did decent except for this last bit! This was just horrible. You are asking her to entertain you. It doesn't work that way with chics. You didn't exactly project "value" here. Girls like to be entertained.

I'd say overall this chic really isn't into you. You have to start the texting every time and she doesn't add much to keep it going. I'd only spend time on this one if I didn't have anything better to do.[/QUOTE]


That makes sense. I kind of saw it sort of as a compliance test. Is there any situation where something like this would work? Or is it something that's not generally recommended regardless?

Anyways, I'd like to ask her what she thought and what happened too. It seems like any sexual relationship is already out of the picture. So maybe as a friend she could answer.

In the past couple of weeks, i've been getting to similar points as I have above with 3 women. But they keep blowing up in my face and it's been pretty demoralizing

btw thanks for your comments. I feel like I can handle a couple of these situations much better

[Guest]

LJBF

Something scared this girl off....

Hey it looks like most of my friends have backed out.

This scared her. Now she thought it was gonna end up being just you two. It looked like a ploy to get her out. She didn't like this.

You set the scenario up that it was gonna be a group event. Just friends. Then you swapped it over to a date. I know that wasn't your plan but in her eyes it was and this threw her for a loop. Possibly one she didn't want.

Know that a dinner didn't just pop up out of nowhere. This was an excuse.

I would stop all texting. It sounds like you guys work near each other? I would just stop by every now and then and bust her balls. If you didn't work near each other I would delete the number and move on.

I pretty much agree with what others have said as well.

In the future here is how I would handle this.

From the ONSET I would establish if this was a girl I wanted to be friends with or I wanted to take out. This is important because you will be relaying this information to the girl as well. From then your moves won't have hidden agendas and freak her out. She will know that you either want to be friends or you want more and she can react/act accordingly.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=sooners123;33128]That makes sense. I kind of saw it sort of as a compliance test. Is there any situation where something like this would work?[/QUOTE]

What did you do to build up to the compliance test? Nothing. It was your opening text for the day. Something like this could work later in a conversation (ex. She responds to something you ask and you reply, "You're gonna have to do better than that.") Like UH said, it's your job to do the entertaining...especially when this girl has no investment in you what-so-ever.

[Guest]

I understand what you mean about the friendship or sexual intent. That and leading will be primary focuses for me. I was thinking that I did state my intent...but it was kind of in a weak way

in person
me: you're a nerd
her: I am. But i'm a hot one
me: actually, yeah you are. You're a herd
(we keep it going. That's her new nickname)

maybe this wasn't a statement of intent. But, I'm trying to learn as much as I can from this experience since I've been in a slump recently

you guys are right. She's not into me that way and I'll stop trying to get into her pants. I do see her about once a week and I'll say hi and tease her

[Guest]

Lol. I so should not write replies when I've had a few to drink.

I'm going to steal the "herd" nickname, if you don't mind :)

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;33130]What did you do to build up to the compliance test? Nothing. It was your opening text for the day. Something like this could work later in a conversation (ex. She responds to something you ask and you reply, "You're gonna have to do better than that.") Like UH said, it's your job to do the entertaining...especially when this girl has no investment in you what-so-ever.[/QUOTE]

Ah I see what you mean. It's funny cause in my mind I thought to myself that I was in comfort with her. I figured at this stage I could say anything and it'd be ok. But, even if tht was the case, I should still add value. I think that I invested too much in the interaction with her and convinced myself (falsely) that she's invested just as much

and laz you can steal "herd"...but only cause you asked :-)