I had to buy new glasses to fit my new prescription. [link=http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=e97c36df4e814c234c17ca8801618ef7e04e75f6e8ebb871]This[/link] is an audio of my interaction with the female sales associate. She had a cute face but a bit of a belly (possibly preggo?) knocks her down to just average, an AG6.
There is no real game in this, this is an example of where I'm starting from, thus an OR not an FR.
Looking for how a PUA would handle this conversation.
There's one point here where I make one "flirty" comment, but other than that it's pretty boring.
Things I've already noticed that are huge problems for me:
"uhhhhhh" - I say this a lot.
I do this - do this thing where I re - repeat words as - as well.
Tips to improve my speech patterns as well as general critique appreciated.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
OR: AG6 at glasses store
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- Guest
by Guest » Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:27 pm
At times you sound a little unsure of what you are saying(mainly when you had the flirtatious comment). It's almost as if you are afraid to say it.
Also, if you were genuinely intersted in this girl, there were a lot of "awkward" pauses where you could, and should, have said SOMETHING lol.
Also, if you were genuinely intersted in this girl, there were a lot of "awkward" pauses where you could, and should, have said SOMETHING lol.
- Guest
by Guest » Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:49 pm
If you're out in the field, then it can be called a field report. You got out of the house, which is the first step.
Juggler talks about transitions, from platonic to personal, and from personal to sexual. I forget now most of the details of what he said, but the concept of platonic/personal/intimate stuck with me.
In this context, platonic is like when you ask a stranger what time it is. It's the level of interaction where none of the humanity or character of the other person (and of yourself) is exposed. It is sorta like a robotic interaction, completely impersonal. It is possible to have lengthy conversations or entire "friendships" at this level. The distinguishing characteristic is that you share very little or nothing about your true selves.
The personal level you talk about your opinions, feelings, beliefs, philosophy, hopes, fears, things that piss you off, etc. You open up as a person and they do too.
The platonic/personal/sexual sorta roughly maps to attraction/comfort/seduction in the M3 model, but only very loosely. Attraction/comfort/seduction is a [i]recipe[/i] designed with certain assumptions for a particular context, specifically bar/club game. Platonic/personal/sexual to me is a [i]description[/i] of psychological state, which is more generally applicable.
In your case, you stayed in the platonic state and never got personal. Which begs the question, how to transition to personal?
First a few words on how not to get personal. Asking questions that put the burden of conversation on the other person are generally a no-no. Like, "how is your day going?" If the state is platonic, people are unlikely to invest the energy. Compliments are generally bad also, because you don't have enough standing in their world to give them. Telling jokes (not that you did, just saying) is also not particularly useful for transitioning to personal, though it can be useful to convey that you are fun. I see some people get stuck in entertainer mode, but no amount of jokes will get you from platonic to personal.
How to transition from platonic to personal? I say the easiest way is to [i]go first[/i] and share something personal about yourself. It doesn't matter how trivial, but it has to be personal. Here's an example I'm just making up:
"How's your day?"
"It's going okay."
"You know, it's interesting to me, because I'm from Vancouver BC, and up there, on any summer day when it's sunny and warm, every single person working in the mall would be absolutely miserable, because everyone wants to go outside and go hiking, or ride their bikes, or have a picnic or something. Whereas here, it's 105 degrees outside and it's a perfectly fine day to be inside, you know?"
Now she might respond by saying "oh my gosh, i know totally what you mean, this one time, i went to visit my friend blah blah blah..." in which case you're well on your way to personal. Or, she might respond with "how long have you been here?" "4 years." "did you want the spherical or aspherical ones?" Or the conversational equivalent of "that's nice."
But even if she doesn't "hook" on your thread, she is much more likely to be receptive conversationally because she knows she won't be the only one talking. If you talk about something personal even twice, it's very hard for her to not respond in kind. And she won't feel pressured into it. She'll want to.
Juggler talks about transitions, from platonic to personal, and from personal to sexual. I forget now most of the details of what he said, but the concept of platonic/personal/intimate stuck with me.
In this context, platonic is like when you ask a stranger what time it is. It's the level of interaction where none of the humanity or character of the other person (and of yourself) is exposed. It is sorta like a robotic interaction, completely impersonal. It is possible to have lengthy conversations or entire "friendships" at this level. The distinguishing characteristic is that you share very little or nothing about your true selves.
The personal level you talk about your opinions, feelings, beliefs, philosophy, hopes, fears, things that piss you off, etc. You open up as a person and they do too.
The platonic/personal/sexual sorta roughly maps to attraction/comfort/seduction in the M3 model, but only very loosely. Attraction/comfort/seduction is a [i]recipe[/i] designed with certain assumptions for a particular context, specifically bar/club game. Platonic/personal/sexual to me is a [i]description[/i] of psychological state, which is more generally applicable.
In your case, you stayed in the platonic state and never got personal. Which begs the question, how to transition to personal?
First a few words on how not to get personal. Asking questions that put the burden of conversation on the other person are generally a no-no. Like, "how is your day going?" If the state is platonic, people are unlikely to invest the energy. Compliments are generally bad also, because you don't have enough standing in their world to give them. Telling jokes (not that you did, just saying) is also not particularly useful for transitioning to personal, though it can be useful to convey that you are fun. I see some people get stuck in entertainer mode, but no amount of jokes will get you from platonic to personal.
How to transition from platonic to personal? I say the easiest way is to [i]go first[/i] and share something personal about yourself. It doesn't matter how trivial, but it has to be personal. Here's an example I'm just making up:
"How's your day?"
"It's going okay."
"You know, it's interesting to me, because I'm from Vancouver BC, and up there, on any summer day when it's sunny and warm, every single person working in the mall would be absolutely miserable, because everyone wants to go outside and go hiking, or ride their bikes, or have a picnic or something. Whereas here, it's 105 degrees outside and it's a perfectly fine day to be inside, you know?"
Now she might respond by saying "oh my gosh, i know totally what you mean, this one time, i went to visit my friend blah blah blah..." in which case you're well on your way to personal. Or, she might respond with "how long have you been here?" "4 years." "did you want the spherical or aspherical ones?" Or the conversational equivalent of "that's nice."
But even if she doesn't "hook" on your thread, she is much more likely to be receptive conversationally because she knows she won't be the only one talking. If you talk about something personal even twice, it's very hard for her to not respond in kind. And she won't feel pressured into it. She'll want to.
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