FR: A Reunion, 10 Years of Work, and Why I’m So Big on Value

[Guest]

[i]FYI, this is a long ass post!!![/i]

Saturday I attended my 10 year high school reunion, an event I feel pretty much marks that I’ve gotten old. Now, I have sagging balls to look forward to. But, on the bright side, tea bagging will be a whole lot easier with sagging balls.

Prior to attending my reunion I wanted to Game the shit of these people. It was important for me to show them what I’ve become, it was important for me to let them know that in many cases I’ve run laps around them, I wanted to show them that despite who I was I become something much, much better. Just to take you back a little bit, in high school I was a HUGE loser. I was the socially awkward fat kid that was shy, with little to no self-esteem, and zero friends (at that school anyway). Funny thing is that I had grown up with all of these kids, I went to school with them dating back to the elementary school. Many had been my friend at some point along the way, but during our journey through adolescence I was shunned. Thinking back those days were some of the darkest of my life…but all of the shit I went through made me hungry. It gave me the drive and strength to change, to improve…

The last day of high school was, at that point, probably the happiest of my life. Unlike my peers, I never said goodbye to high school that day…instead, I said hello to the rest of my life. To my new life. I felt like I was working on a blank canvas now and that I could become whomever I wished.

Over the subsequent 10 years, I struggled to put myself through college. During my undergraduate and graduate degrees, I regularly held full-time jobs sometimes under the worst circumstances at horrible companies. But, I felt I had to prove something to myself and to the people that never gave me a chance. The plan was to do what I had to do to get the career that I wanted to get so that I could rub my success in the faces of those that never gave me a chance.

Once I was done with college, I landed a great job at a great place. But it wasn’t quite what I wanted to be doing. I wanted to be in real estate acquisitions. So, I took a pay cut to gain the experience I would need to get into what I wanted to get into. The job was horrible, my boss a terror, it was one of the longest 18 months of my life. But I needed the experience and I knew it would pay off. Eventually it did with the job that I really wanted and the paycheck that I felt I deserved.

Ever since I graduated college, I’ve wanted to own my own business, always wanted to work for myself. I’ve taken a run at acquiring a handful of businesses, none of which panned out. So, instead of buying a business I decided that I would simply start one. I’ve started several and look forward to continuing to grow these businesses so that I no longer need a career.

I’m 5’11”, when I graduated high school I weighted 250, when I graduated undergrad I weighted 275. I hated being fat and always thought that if someone didn’t like me, for whatever reason, it was because I was fat and they simply don’t like fat people. It never had anything to do with my personality, oh no, it was because I was fat. Eventually, this way of thinking led me to never really even try to be social with people. My thinking was that they were going to reject me anyway, so why should I even try…fat ass. So, one day, I decided to lose weight. It was that simple.

Losing weight was one of the single most difficult things I’ve ever done in my lifetime. It was an exercise in mental toughness, not physical prowess. I worked out virtually every day for 3 months, every day I would wake up to constant physical pain, my work outs consisted of anywhere from an hour to hour and a half on the elliptical machine, I routinely caught colds every 3 weeks and when I had one I still worked out through the cold, towards the end my hair actually started falling out, and I did all of this while I was a fulltime student and worked fulltime. In 3 months, I lost 60 pounds. Roughly 5 pounds a week. Eventually I tired of such a strenuous work out regiment and ended up taking a break from the gym, then I found myself in a horrible relationship for 6 months (she sort of convinced me to stop working out and I promptly tacked on 20 pounds). Once that relationship ended, I hit the gym again, and shed another 55 pounds to get down to 180. Total weight loss: 95 pounds. I’ve since put on about 25 pounds but for the most part the extra weight gained has been due to muscle growth.

In addition to a new body, I crafted an entirely new style. Funny thing is that I’ve always had pretty good taste in clothing and décor. I was just way too shy to ever show it to the world. So, I always opted for looking and dressing the same instead of dressing like myself. Today, rarely does a day go by without someone, somewhere complimenting me on something I’m wearing. Today is a great example, I’m wearing black flat front pants with white pin stripes, black shoes, and a purple shirt. The guys at the office call the shirt gay, the girls love it. And so goes the pattern of my life and my style. Never before would I have been able to deal with the social pressure involved in wearing something that looks good, is congruent to my personality, but isn’t incredibly popular with most men at large. What a great contrast, hedge a very masculine look with a slightly effeminate style. Girls dig it, they absolutely do.

Finally, entering the Community gave me the strength and confidence to understand that there are literally millions of women that want me. It’s sad that it took other people to show me that I’m fucking awesome, especially when I always believed it deep down inside, but hey as long as I come to this conclusion who the fuck cares how I got there? I understand social interactions better now, and I simply see the world totally differently. Again, this is a huge confidence boost.

My point with this long ass diatribe isn't to talk about how great I am or to be a braggart, it’s so that you guys can understand where I came from, who I used to be, and all the work I’ve done to change…to raise my value.

Going into the reunion I wanted to tell everyone all of the above, I wanted to tell my story verbatim. So, I worked out the answers to all of the questions I knew I would be getting. Answers filled with DHV spikes, filled with the details of who I am, what I’ve done, the value I’ve created for myself. Then I realized something. If I were to tell women all of the shit that I just wrote while I was in set do you think any of them would bite? They would think that I am a braggart, that much of what I was telling them was probably NOT true, and that I was a cocky, dick. It was then that I remembered a critique that I’ve gotten in the past from Finesse. He gave me a very short list of some of my positive pick up traits, on the list were value projection and value creation. He didn’t know any of what I wrote above, he didn’t know my story. But, he still knew that I was a man of value because that’s just who I am. Men of value, don’t talk about their value, they’re humble because they feel like their life is unfinished. Why brag about something that you feel could be that much better? I understand this now.

So, I threw out the long scripted answers that I was going to give in a pathetic attempt to subcommunicate all the value that I believe that I created. I wasn’t going to tell them my story. I was simply going to talk to them as if they were any other girl. By not giving details, I was showing them my value.

A few examples to show you what I mean:

Question: What do you do?

Canned Answer: Well, I work for xyz company and I’m a senior acquisitions analyst for the western region which includes markets like…

Value Projection Answer: I buy apartment complexes. (Which I always have to follow up with a qualification statement because people always want more to that answer). Something like: I don’t buy them for myself I buy them for a pension fund, but I’ve dabbled with my own stuff on the side.

Question: Where are you living these days?

Canned Answer: I live in a condo in the M Streets, a block behind the Granada. It’s a great location and the interior has been completed gutted…

Value Projection Answer: I live in the M Streets. (Again they’ll always ask for more)

Statement: Wow, you look great!

Canned Answer: Yeah, I lost a lot of weight, learned to dress better, etc., etc.

Value Projection Answer: Thanks.

The result?

Every single person I spoke with, which was about 90% of the people that were there all said the same thing and they said it in a very genuine sort of way: Well, you look like you’re doing great for yourself. My answer was always the same: Thanks, I appreciate that.

You see, I didn’t have to elaborate. They knew of my value precisely because I didn’t elaborate.

I thought this whole time that I’ve done all the work on myself because I was trying to prove something to these people, I realize now that I did everything I did for me.
It’s the journey that matters…not the destination. I’ve travelled a whole lot further than most of these people and although I’m not quite where I want to be yet that’s fine because I’ll get there one day and if I never do it wasn’t for a lack of trying.

Virtually no one recognized me. I had to tell almost everyone who I was, it was that drastic. I didn’t win most changed man, but this is only because the guy that did win (who did change a lot) was much, much more popular in high school than I. Why give the award to the fat kid with no friends? I suppose some things change for the better and some things simply don’t change.

There were probably 5 girls there that were single, not fat, and still hot. I ran game on each one, and oddly enough 2 of the 5 told me that they had crushes on me in high school. Told me how good I look. Told me that we should hang out sometime, invited me to the after party. I’m sure I could have SNL’d at least one of them, but I was just simply disgusted by them. They didn’t give the chance back in the day, shit they didn’t give me the bare minimum level of decency one should give any other human being. Here’s my interaction with the worst of the two offenders:

Me: “Hey, I see you all the time at the grocery store at Mockingbird and Greenville…you know, the Kroger on the corner there.”

HB: “What?” Then she looks at my nametag. “Holy shit! Bull Run? Is that you? My god you look great.” Then, she takes a step toward me and touches my arm.

Me: “Thanks.”

HB: “Do you live in the area?”

Me: “M Streets, I shop at that Kroger all the time.”

HB: “Why didn’t you ever stop to say hi!”

Me: “Well we never really hung out in high school so I figured I’d just drop it…”

HB: Whispers in my ear, still touching my arm. “What are you doing these days?”

Me: “I buy apartment complexes.”

HB: “Cool! You know…I used to have a crush on you in high school. Wow!!! I just can’t get over how good you look!” Then she calls a friend of hers over, “You remember Bull Run?”

Other HB: “Barely.”

HB: “Of course you do, his locker was right next to mine. He and I used to chat between classes.” My locker was nowhere near hers and I only talked to her in Sophomore Science class.
Other HB: “Did you use to be heavier?”

Me: “Yep.”

Other HB: “Oh yeah, I remember you now…wow, he does look great!”

HB: “He buys apartment complexes…”

Other HB: “Really?!?! Wow, looks like you’re doing well for yourself. I LOVE the suit!”

Me: “Thanks.”

HB: “Listen, we’re going to an after party at Price’s place. He lives down the street from me…you should come with.” Can anyone say she just spilled her logistics?

Me: “Sounds awesome...but I’m meeting a friend after this.”

HB: “Come on, we only do this once every 10 years!”

Me: “True, but I made plans…I honestly didn’t expect to attend an after party and I’m not the type of guy to break my word. But, it was good seeing you again.”

HB: “We should stay in touch though and catch up…”

Me: “Sure, let’s do that.” We do the number exchange, we hug, she kisses me on the cheek, and I leave.

It was a great feeling to have a chick so obviously hitting on me ten years after she laughed in my face when I asked her out (true story). I could have called her out on that. But what would that accomplish?

Instead of SNLing her, I called a different girl and met her out. One that wanted me from the start.

Am I bitter? Not really. I mean admittedly, the person I was in high school wasn’t exactly the highest value person in the world. I wouldn’t necessarily want to hang out with or be friends with someone like the person I was. So, I do understand their decision. But, this doesn’t mean that I don’t or won’t take it personal. I feel as if I did exact my revenge a little bit.

Said revenge was simple: deprive them of me, just like they deprived me of them.

[Guest]

this is the best post i've ever read on this board. good lookin out man.

[Guest]

Wow it seems like it turned out really well. Good job BR. I have even more respect for u man. I never knew where u came from... You are a very good example for guys who think they are hopeless... coz Anybody can improve from where they are. Good job. I'm lookin foward to meet you soon.

[Guest]

Bull as always you are the fucking man. I knew before you went that it would turn out just as you wished -- cuz you're that good ;)

Wow I never knew we were so much alike. I wasn't the fat kid but the socially awkward guy with the nerd herd... like you my inner shit is less from nerves and more feeling 'why bother they're not going to like me like that anyway'. It's still a problem today but one I'm slowly overcoming.

Way to go! If only I had found all this before my 10 year. Ah well.

PS - If you think you feel old now, wait til you're in your 30s, especially the last half ;)

[Guest]

interesting, candid post BR and interesting to hear your back story.

nice.

[Guest]

Hrmm...

I must be a really big ass.

Because I would have wanted to nail that chick...that would have been my revenge. Ecspecially when I pull out and bust an 8 roper on her face....muhahahhahahahahah

[Guest]

but she wanted to have sex with BR. and he didn't give it to her. She lied thru her teeth in front of BR and her friend. SHe didn't get what she wants right away. She is craving for piece of BR's ass. I am sure BR can fuck the hell out of her whenever he wants. :)

[Guest]

Wow, awesome. If this weren't in the lounge i would nominate for Best of.

[Guest]

Bull Run, I would have never imagined you came from the background you described. So do you plan to go to your 20year reunion?

[Guest]

I left a lot of shit out, stuff that's simply too personal to share on the Internet...without getting paid that is ;)

Life before high school was pretty shitty as well.

The trajectory of my life certainly was down...continuing to live and think the way I did was going to make for a really, really horrible existence.

I had to change. So, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and pulled myself up by my boot straps.

The funniest thing about my transformation has been echoed here by a few of you guys...you never thought I would have come from where I did...I'm comforted by that idea. That the people I know today, have no idea who I was yesterday. Sometimes, I feel the exact same way...

I feel as if I've become unrecognizable to myself as myself.

I suppose this is why I'm so passionate about the Community and what it can offer. It can't right the wrongs you've had to endure, but it CAN help to reverse the trajectory of your Life. It's only a part of the answer, but being here and learning to be better with women, an accomplishment most men believe cannot be done, will embolden you to change other aspects of your Life.

I will be attending my 20 year reunion.

I'm simply not done yet...