FR: Kind of Funny…

[TeeJay]

I’m a newb, but getting better. Approaches are getting easier and I can get number closes. I know that’s not real impressive, but hey I have so start somewhere….right?

I went out with my co-workers last week. All three are females; they don’t know I’m perusing this lifestyle, but give excellent feedback when I go out with them. We were at a club and I had made a few approaches. I struck up a conversation with a set that was next to us, and my target and I were leaning against a table. I was building rapport and it was going well! She kept laughing and smiling at everything I was saying, so I decided going for the number. Right as I was pulling my phone out of my pocket, the table collapsed and she fell on her ass and drinks spilt everywhere. She got up and I could tell she was embarrassed. Her and her friends went to another table and I left soon after. Even if the table wouldn’t have collapsed all it would have been is a number.

Like I said, no issues getting numbers; however, I feel my sticking points are escalation and follow-up.

It’s like I run out of things to talk about.

Is this something that just takes practice?

Any suggestions?

[Gamble]

It does take a lot of practice. I have been there and it sucks. It sounds like you are having problems with qualification. It doesn't sound like it's a big deal, but if the two of you haven't qualified yourselves to each other enough, the chances of her answering the phone when you call are slim to none.

And on to my second point... In order for you to progress past a number close on the first night, you have to do one simple thing: Learn how to naturally incorporate kino into your conversations and gradually escalate it from there. It will take practice, it will feel awkward at first if you are not a very kinostetic person, but the payout is worth the struggle.

Hope this helps,
Gamble

[Tribulus1000]

I’m a newb, but getting better. Approaches are getting easier and I can get number closes. I know that’s not real impressive, but hey I have so start somewhere….right?

I went out with my co-workers last week. All three are females; they don’t know I’m perusing this lifestyle, but give excellent feedback when I go out with them. We were at a club and I had made a few approaches. I struck up a conversation with a set that was next to us, and my target and I were leaning against a table. I was building rapport and it was going well! She kept laughing and smiling at everything I was saying, so I decided going for the number. Right as I was pulling my phone out of my pocket, the table collapsed and she fell on her ass and drinks spilt everywhere. She got up and I could tell she was embarrassed. Her and her friends went to another table and I left soon after. Even if the table wouldn’t have collapsed all it would have been is a number.

Like I said, no issues getting numbers; however, I feel my sticking points are escalation and follow-up.

It’s like I run out of things to talk about.

Is this something that just takes practice?

Any suggestions?

You said it best....followup is everything. A guy who can approach in a bar is really impressive to himself and other guys.
It looks great. And the alcohol makes it seem even better.

But if you're a slick player in the bar but you go home to your hand every night then something is wrong.

The idea that the number means nothing is complete bullshit. Mystery and company have told everyone that "numbers are wood.". Well, how are you going to get with this girl again? You're not if you don't have any contact info.

My advice....very simple. Don't concentrate on perfecting your approach and trying for same night lays. Instead focus on good followup, phone, text, email and dates.

Chances are that that girl liked you. You could have sent one of your female coworkers into the bathroom with her to be your spy.

A friend of mine said this....
"A phone number is a receipt that a connection has been formed.". A phone number is not the goal but rather a confirmation with the option of furthering the connection.

[TeeJay]

Thanks, Gents!!!

I now remember what was told to me at the boot camp. If you think your sticking point is one thing...it's probably something before that. Yes, I have not been qualifying, just conversation. I forgot the formula I learned (C-R)+Q+SE. I forgot about qualifying.

I'm going to Zen Austin ranch tonight. I'll remember to qualify!

And yes, I agree. I should be getting dates out of these numbers.

After evaluating what’s happening---I think that the lack of qualifying is leaving me with questions because I don’t feel the attraction is there. All I was doing is building rapport and then breaking it. There’s no investment. Does that sound right?

Thanks!

[Tribulus1000]

After evaluating what’s happening---I think that the lack of qualifying is leaving me with questions because I don’t feel the attraction is there. All I was doing is building rapport and then breaking it. There’s no investment. Does that sound right?

You had attraction....

I was building rapport and it was going well! She kept laughing and smiling at everything I was saying, so I decided going for the number.

This post describes one set you did. Its very difficult to extrapolate that into knowing what to do or what you aren't doing with other women you meet.
You might be perfectly fine.

I would concentrate your efforts on first knowing where the sticking points are and then systematically attacking them.

For example, in that set with the girl and your friends that you described above, I would say you only did one thing wrong. After you had successfully formed that connection and she was interested, she made a big faux pas.
The table goes over and drinks fly and she lands on her ass. How would you feel?

Its a huge state break.

One minute you'd be talking to a girl and the next minute you're rolling on the floor. So everything up to that point (if I read the FR) was good.

So you have to work on actually getting that number. Actually texting her and actually meeting her up sometime.

Qualification just gets her invested in you and shows that you have standards. It keeps her mouth moving as she tells you what she's about.

You don't lose any points for going over to another table or another bar and asking for the number. You don't "lower your value" by doing that. There was a connection made, now the guy does the asking and pursuing.
Don't let pride keep you from getting to know an attractive girl.

She was probably disappointed and let down that you didn't find her.

However, you don't want to do this with girls you have never met. For example, I would never run after a chick in the mall because that's just retarded. I wouldn't go out of my way for someone I don't know.
And buying girls drinks that you hardly know is also suspect.

Just my 2 cents. Be logical about it, don't let your mind get confused.

Tribulus