reframe experiment and going direct

[parametric_dc]

Yeah, so on Saturday I was out at this party with some friends. It was kind of a work thing, but as it turns out, some of these guys are fairly proficient members of the community. This is really cool cause now I have a decently sized group of PUA's I can learn from both here in my town and also in Dallas. I guess the old saying of "when the student is ready, the master(s) appears".

Anyways, I thought about my situation some after a few replies to my thread about my first night out.

I don't really have much AA, I just have a sense of not being worthy if a girl is a certain level of hotness. It's like, she's so attractive she could have most any guy and I'm merely a tourist in her awesome social life. So in many of my interactions, I feel as though I'm trying to present evidence that I really DO belong there talking to her, that I'm not a chode. Lame, right? So I decided to reframe.

Rather than focus on beauty, I asked myself "well, what is it that I would want from her besides her looks?" I made a list:
- creativity / artistically inclined
- smart
- wise
- well read
- educated
- good self-esteem
- gentle spirit

...and decided that instead of having this mindset like I'm going to somehow present myself as being worthy enough, I'd screen her to see if she has a cool enough personality for me to invest my time in her.

With some advice from Finesse (he says I should try direct), I decided to merge these two ideas into a single game plan. For example, instead of going up and talking to girls with opinion openers that I don't give a shit about, I'd say something like: "Hey, you seem like you have a creative spirit. Do you consider that to be true?"

or "I have this intuition you're a bit smarter than most of the other people here."

The idea is that I'm looking for girls with personality traits that I like, rather than trying to come up with ways to make hot girls like me.

So I tried that out on a number of HB's and I got some really good reactions. Some bad ones as well, but whatever.

For example...the best interaction of the night went something like this:


ME: "Hey, you seem like you have a creative spirit. Do you consider that to be true?"

HB: "I guess. Why do you say that?"

ME: "Cause I just had a sense about it. It's the way you stand."

HB: "how so?"

ME: "Well, I think you're pretty tuned to the environment around you. You like to observe people, right?"

HB: yeah!

ME: well, the way you were standing made me notice that. It's like a cat. You know how they can sit, but they seem very active and aware?"

HB: yeah!"

ME: "there you go. Just like that. Creative people absorb their environment and then output it in their own unique way."

HB: "That's true. But...I remind you of a cat?"

ME: "Sure. Cats are graceful. What? Don't you like cats?"

HB: (smiles big) oh, okay! yeah, I love cats!"

ME: You probably like all kinds of animals, though.

HB: Most of them. Not snakes or anything...

ME: I see. So you're a creative person, who's graceful and likes animals. Hmm. I like that.

HB: (smiles)...what about you?

ME: What about me?

HB: Do you like animals?

ME: No, I hate them. (smile big)

HB: (looks at me like she can't tell if I'm being serious)

ME: Yes, I like animals. Duh...maybe you aren't as aware as I thought.

HB: well, I just met you! (seemed playful)


...and then the interaction just went real smooth and natural cause we were just too people who had a lot in common. She told me I wasn't typical and that I seemed really cool, etc. In fact, she offered me her number in the end, I didn't have to ask for it.


I found this to be really beneficial because her beauty never even came into my mind. I was focused on her personality and trying to figure out whether or not she's cool enough to be with me cause I consider myself a pretty awesome person.

THe other interactions were also good, but some of them seemed to get too friend-zoneish. I have ideas on how I can get around that, though.

And the ones that bombed, those girls sucked anyway cause they weren't creative or smart or well read at all. So who cares?

I think I'll keep running with this for a while and see what happens.

[Bull Run]

Another suggestion that PicturePerfect gave me is to focus on the thing about her looks that you like the least. If you find and then focus on that one item that you hate about her she instantly seems human.

[Guest]

well done Brotha =)

[Tribulus1000]

Yeah so you're basically doing qualification for real based on your criteria. That sounds really good.

Props on getting the #close.