Direct approach wins in a big mixed set

[TheScientist]

I went out with two coworkers Friday. One is a single 5 and the other is a married 9 (on a bad day). The 5 started talking about how I meet a lot of women (she's seen me pull two ONSs) and she thinks it's amazing. The 9 says "I'm not surprised! If I wasn't happily married then I'd just go for you" (a point she reiterated throughout the evening - Hmmm?) "but I want to see you make it happen, so we're going to play a game. I'll pick the most gorgeous girl in the bar and as soon as I tell you who it is you have to go straight over to her and get her to come over to our table for a drink." I said "Done. And I'm not going to buy her the drink."

She points out the target who's at a table with 4 other girls and 3 fellas. I instantly recognize that I would have picked another girl at the table as THE target, but I take the challenge as it stands. I walked over, planted myself at her side and placed my hand on her arm. When she looked up at me in surprise, I said "it looks like you're having a fun night out with your friends. I noticed you sitting over here and want to get to know you. Would you bring your drink over to our table and join me and my friends for a few minutes." Sure enough, as soon as she saw who my friends were the deal was sealed (and I knew the 9.5 was an ace in the hole for that). When we got to the table I told her that she was gorgeous (true) and I wanted to get to know her. I thanked her for joining us and pulled out her chair for her.

Within five minutes I met everybody at the table. Every girl said that they were in awe and jealous and had to know what I said to her to get her to come over to my table. They talked to me like I was the most interesting person they had ever met. They took turns trying to keep our attention until the hottest one started working it. An ugly one was laying it on thick and my married friend snuggles up to me, tells her that we're married and trying to have children. (I don't need another married woman right now, but she blew her out fast.) It didn't ruin things with the hot one who probably never picked up on that (as it turns out she was checked out).

The hottest girl from that group then went for it. She seemed reasonably sober. I felt like the king. She asked me to take her to this after party. After dancing with me and bringing on some unsolicited grind action she took another shot with the birthday girl. Then she got sick. One of the girlfriends then quickly took her out the door, put her in the car, and they were off. Oh well!

Two of the girls gave me their phone numbers without asking and one of them gave me the phone number of the hottest and insisted that I had to call her. Since I got it from her friend I'm not calling her, but she had already told me where she worked and told me to come by the store to see her as I work across the street. That might be interesting.

This isn't a lay report as I ended my Friday night alone. It's just the first time I've gone direct like that in a mixed set and I'm calling it a success. I was really direct on a date this week and it went amazingly well. After that she "joked" that she would rather see me three nights this week than just the one we planned and that I should count on this being an all night date. I was direct at a happy hour some friends hosted and ended up waking up to have a romp with an Uma Thurman (from The Avengers) looking thirty-something this morning (one of my types for sure). She was talking about "next time" when I called her tonight.

I'll offer the simple pattern I see in these interactions. (1) Introduce yourself in a calm and confident way. (2) Let the introduction include an IOI, but care nothing about her response. This is your interaction. You own this and it doesn't matter what she does. (3) Instantly escalate the directness by verbalizing the IOI. Tell her you want to get to know her, you noticed her, you were attracted to her and had to meet her, or whatever the truth is. (4) If you "ask" for compliance - like instantly isolating her or moving her into your group - then use the words of a question, but don't use a questioning tone. It's like when a superior asks someone if they "would" or "could" do something. You don't need to hear a yes, because you're giving a command in a polite and respectful way. This says that you respect her right to decline, but you know she's going to do it.

My caveat is that this is fun, but you have to have the integrity to back it up. If you tell someone she's cute then that better be your truth. I've already seen some powerful stuff happen.

There's other reasons that these situations have worked out well, but this was my approach. I like it, because all it takes is the confidence to do it in a good way. When you stumble or make a mistake then you're still good if you just own it like a man and keep on rolling. If I feel like my approach is hiding something or faking it then I'm sunk if my secret gets out.