How many times did I fuck this up?

[truth1]

Just divorced after 10 years of marriage. So fresh, I just moved into my new place today (boxes still everywhere). Singed up for match.com about three weeks ago. This story is about the second woman I met on match. This is prior to reading the Game or anything else about pick up artists. Feel free to be mercilous and point out every single place I blew it - I know some of it, but not sure about other places.

Match.com part:

HB: Looks to be a partially insane but potentially highly fun 46 year old cougar. Also looks hot for a 46 year old (I'm 40, so not totally off-putting and I figure what the hell gotta start somewhere). She "winks" at me.

Me: Email, call, blah, blah, blah. Set up meeting for just 30 minutes 'cause I have to be at dinner in city where she lives which is about 45 minutes from me.

I get there and through a combination of good genetics, plastic surgery, and daily exercise, she is actually almost a 10 for 46 year old - translates to about a 7.5 for a 28 year old. So, I'm getting kind of interested. Highlight of this meeting is that she wants to play the "honesty game" 'cause it is a phenomenal way to "build intimacy" Here is the meat of that game.

HB10/7.5: "I'm finally ready to find my soul mate. What do you want in a relationship?"

Me: "A great connection with great sex." Going for the honesty angle.

HB10/7.5: "It is really early for you after your divorce. Are you sure you are ready for a serious relationship?"

Me: "I'm sure I'm NOT ready for a 'serious' relationship, but I think we could have something really good."

HB10/7.5: "Ohhh, and then you'll leave and I'll get hurt."

Me: Some paragraph about how the best relationships I've ever had have ultimately hurt someone - either me or her. But I wouldn't trade any of them even the ones where I got hurt.

I have to leave. Date ends. She still likes me. Wants to see me again. Remember, I still have no house. So, I have to go to her city again for date #2 - The Lobster Dinner.

"The 6:00pm Lobster Dinner"

I tell her I'm coming up in jeans, because I won't be able to get really dressed up. Get to her apartment to pick her up. She is dressed in black boots over her knees, black fishnet stockings, black faux rugby shirt (#7 on back in white) with deeply cut front. She's a blond so this all works well.

As soon as we start heading to my car she puts me in an arm-lock so I'm supposed to "walk her there." I do it.

Get to resataurant. Overlooking water. Get booth looking out window where we can both sit next to each other. 150+ people around us. Fancy restaurant. Lobster coming. She wants to start making out. I feel like I'm in high school out at Friendly's after drinking at a football game, but I do it anyway. She escalates the intensity of the make out sessions. Talk. Makeout. Talk. Makeout. Entire restaurant now enjoying show.

Lobster comes. We eat. Make out. Eat. Her hands up my shirt / down pants. Eat. She mentions that she and her 18 year old daughter talked about me earlier in the day and she promised her daughter she would not sleep with me tonight. I let it go figuring I'll sort that out later. Eat more lobster. Make out more.

We leave and go walk along the water. She recalls the best sex she ever had in the seat in an airplane under a blanket on a night flight and decides she wants to top that with me. I happen to live near San Francisco so she sees the Golden Gate bridge and remembers hearing about someone having sex on the bridge and decides that is what she wants to do [aside: I visit Dallas regularly on business and hope to meet one or two when I'm down there which is why I'm posting here].

I like this bridge fucking idea, but I'm concerned it will get too difficult and I won't get laid at all so I suggest we do a reconnaisance mission and then a practice fuck at her place. She thinks is a great idea, but we can't do it tonight because she promised her daughter. I keep working the idea, but she is determined to go home, keep her promise to her daughter and not fuck me tonight, but is totally into planning our recon fuck where she can fuck me on our next date.

She gets concerned about police catching us. I'm a risk taker so I keep pushing here with a "who gives a crap, we'll talk our way out of it. worst case we go downtown for a few hours. bring on the police."

Drive back to her house mash, grab, make out in car. She is adament about the no fucking this night. I let her go in alone.

I get home and already have an email titled "Golden Moment" where she is thinking about how hot the bridge fuck is going to be.

I am leaving town in 3 days, to go to Hawaii with my not even ex-wife and 3 kids on a trip we planned before the divorce (important that I go for kids) which I told her about in the "Honesty Game." So I figure I've gotta get this recon fuck in before I go. I call her the next day to set up the recon fuck before I leave. She is dodging on the phone and is concerned about my trip, and her soul mate thing, and the "quality of our relationship." Wants to put everything off until "several weeks after I get back"

HB10/7.5: "If this is meant to be, it will be even if we wait."

Me: "I'll call you after I get back."

Been back for a week. Not called yet. Busy practicing game on other women and setting up a bunch of new prospects. Considering what to do w/ her now.

[playercool]

If there is one thing I have learned there are a lot of crazy women out there. And when I mean crazy I mean they like to get fucked in crazy places. Not all girls are like this but a ton are. Over 50%.

You should have taken her up there and bent her over. She wanted you to. She is probably pissed off you didn't man up whip it out and bend her over.

I'm actually a little upset myself. I don't even know you. Hahaha

One more thing I need to say here. The planned fuck will probably never happen. Women love Spontineity.

If you do see this girl again I highly recommend you go caveman on her.

Goodluck

[truth1]

It seems a universal takeaway here is always be ready to close anything, at any time, in any way. Good advice for me to internalize.

In this case, you may not understand the difficulty. Golden Gate bridge is 2 miles from restaurant....need car in garage to get there, not a big deal. Golden Gate bridge has no parking within 1/2 mile, have to walk last half mile to get on the bridge (bigger deal). Golden Gate bridge is protected monument by Homeland Security, closed to pedestrian traffic after dark (huge deal).

This would have to be daylight (probably close to dawn) sex in public in probably sweat pants and big jacket on the edge of a major thoroughfare. Likely impossible that night. I thought deserving of a little recon in any event.

One general question. When you have a woman like this who is obviously pushing the sex angle as hard as she can to test you. Do you go with it or stop her? General rules? Thoughts?

[playercool]

One general question. When you have a woman like this who is obviously pushing the sex angle as hard as she can to test you. Do you go with it or stop her? General rules? Thoughts?

Are you thinking this was a shit test? If it was yah you need to reframe it so she doesn't think you are just after sex.
Example: I don't sleep with women on the first date. Maybe after 27 dates I will consider it.

If you are thinking she just wanted to get nailed then yah I would have nailed her. The problem is if you don't you almost lose your chance forever. I know that sounds weird but girls are odd. Their emotions take over and they start to wonder all sorts of stuff. I was throwing myself at him and he didn't nail me? What is wrong with this guy? What is wrong with me? Now they feel ackward. They start to feel like the little sluts they are. This bothers them and they no longer want anything to do with you. They wonder if you perceive them in a negative light now.

Seeing how the golden gate bridge is watched over like fort knox I would have bent her over a railing or something in the direction of the bridge. This way it is still in view and you are outside in public. That is what she really wanted the way you describe it. Just the thrill of others possibly able to witness.

Suprised no one else has chimed in here. Take my advice with a grain of salt my friend.

[truth1]

pgs. 55 - 58 have a case study on this exactly. Cannot go past delicate, non-french kissing lasting less than 30 seconds and escalate into foreplay without an immediately available private place or she will later "feel guilty for doing that with someone she didn't really know that well" and will not have made the strongest form commitment of having sex with you to solidify her "buying decision."

[truth1]

So, I've been out all day moving into my new house (at least have a bed now, but no bedding yet) and I decide to try to number close anyone hot I get close to.

At Pier I, I number close a HB9.5 while paying for my kitchen table. She is 27 and has two jobs: stewardess so she can travel and interior decorator.

At Polo, I am rewardrobing and number close another HB9.5 (34 year old manager of womens department) after getting all her employees to think I am the shit. In both cases, I used with great success this routine about humpback whale mating behavior that I augmented with pictures I loaded into my blackberry.

Back in my driveway, I go harrass an HB7.5 parked across the street waiting for her boss to come out and get her number.

Feeling good and have another date set up with another cougar (41 this time) that I met on match.com. She thinks she is a hard ass so I've been messing with her online and don't even talk to her just email her I'll be at XYZ bar at 8:00pm if she wants to show up. I get there a little early and open a set with about 10 people who are there for a psuedo family reunion/pool party. 8:20 roles around and these people have invited me into their pool tournament and are paying for my pool. I get a call from her on my cell that she is at the bar in the front of the pub (oopps). I go out and apologize, get her, bring her back, introduce her to my new friends and we start playing pool (She is only an HB6.5).

After an hour of this, I bounce her to a wine bar a few blocks away and she says "blah, blah, going well, but how do I know it will keep working, you might be a bad kisser."

Me: "Would you like to find out right now?"
HB6.5: Looks around wine bar. "All these people are watching."
Me: "They don't care. Are you scared?"
HB6.5: Looks around some more and then leans in for about 8 seconds of making out.

She likes the kiss. A few words and then brief uncomfortable moment when she wants more, but doesn't know what to do, and I am determined not to keep making out with her in restaurant and don't know what to do (we get past this and continue date and she holds my hand on way to her car - again I have no place to take her for another 4-5 days).

Anyway, I figured this out as a way to help with location change and to not let her get to far ahead of herself before getting her back to your bed (if I had one).

By whatever method, kiss her as soon as possible, wherever possible. Then if she wants more,

You say "I only kiss/make out once in any public place."

H.B. will say something or look quizical. Wanting clarification.

You: "Everyone understands if you really click with someone you just have to kiss them when it happens. But more than one and you start moving into GET A ROOM LAND. So, if you want to kiss me again, we'll have to go somewhere else."

[Dragon]

Hey Truth1,

Good post...

[truth1]

So, I just got my apartment set up and my bed linens etc. yesterday and went out last night with another HB9.5 that I picked up at the mall on Sun. and with a combination of these 4 things closed the deal.

1) left my cell phone in my masterbath room and when I picked her up for drinks went to get it with her so she could see my place under no pressure early,

2) started off early with "this will never work since we're both coming of serious relatioships so we just be friends" and then played it up everytime things started to escalate to just push/pull and bring the mood back down.

3) got to the restaurant and got a booth and when it seemed right went to her side and made out with her for a 10/15 seconds and then stopped it and then when she wanted to keep going, I launched into the "get a room spiel above" and then went back to the "friends" side of the booth on the other side, 'cause we were just going to be friends.

4) at 9:51pm on my way to drop her back at her car, asked if she wanted to see the nighttime skyline from my house, but it would have to be quick 'cause I had stuff do in the morning so I'd have to have her back to her car by 10:30pm.

Worked perfectly....

[playercool]

You sound like an old pro...Well done

[truth1]

Thx. I've got the old part well in hand (40). Lol.