POWER OF WORDS

[Guest]

Gents,

Here's something that I'm working on currently. Cooking up in the pot-o-grimm.

I was talking to a girl i found attractive, and I made a statement to which she responded "THAT'S REALLY ATTRACTIVE." I was intuitively a bit PUT OFF for a split second, after which I came to and realized what she told me was a good thing and proceeded to make out with the girl right then and there without responding. But at that moment I couldn't really understand why originally it had bothered me.

Later, I would break it down and I figured out that what bothered me was that while she said "THAT'S really attractive," what she MORE ACCURATELY should have said (or at least what I interpreted her to mean and thus reversed direction and rewarded with the makeout) is "I FEEL ATTRACTED." I mean, it may seem like no big deal, but gentlemen... consider what is being sub-communicated.

Is she the ultimate decider of what is and isn't attractive, or how can she say "THAT IS ATTRACTIVE" with such authority? OR is she merely trying to express that she finds me attractive at the moment, lacking certain fine communication skills to correctly identify a feeling and put words to it? (again, this is how I chose to interpret her, split second) Am I guilty of the same poor communication?? And thus begins my post.



Words and language have a powerful effect on the brain. BE AWARE OF IT. That's the point of the post. Now for some details.




In my game right now, I am working on eliminating 3 things from my language, and thus from my being. 1.) value statements 2.) labels 3.) comparisons. Here's why.


**On a "nuts and bolts" level, approach anxiety and social phobia stem from too much self-evaluation on a subconscious level.**

But how does the subconscious know what mental processes to undergo when, say, you are in set? Gents, your subconscious mind does what it is TRAINED to do. Neuronal pathways are like muscles, and muscles have memory. Training your brain to undergo evaluative processes that cause anxiety is a little like training your body to hit a jump shot in basketball, or a golf swing. At first it is difficult, but after some practice your deeper brain is able to take over the process and you are able to think about other things, such as defenders, without even worrying about the mechanics of the shot. The shot becomes automatic.

Therefore in order to train your mind to think in a way that does not induce anxiety, (in you or in her), I am theorizing that you need to change the way you think ALL THE TIME. And if EVALUATION is what causes AA, then what you really need to do is to get rid of these thought processes from your mind completely.

So what are they?

Value judgements. Words like "good" and "bad." "cool" and "uncool." Note that they can be either positive or negative.

Here is an example: Let's say I say "He is a GOOD PUA." Is that REALLY what I'm trying to say?? Nope. Something like "He seems to have a number of women attracted to him" is MUCH better. Not only is it more descriptive, but it trains the brain to be accurate and in the moment, rather than rely on value words like "good" and "bad" which have a lot of emotion attached to them at a deep level.

Another example: Something that might come up from your subconscious mind when looking at a 10: "I'm not good-looking enough." Well, if this is sitting in your subconscious, you will assuredly have AA. However, had you trained your brain to not use words like "good and bad" you would instead have your inner brain telling you "this girl most likely prefers guys who look XYZ" which is MUCH more manageable. You could then learn to go out not to pick her up, but to simply meet her and find out whether your suspicion is correct or if you are mistaken.

2.) labels

3.) comparisons


these are kind of the same. i am too tired to finish this right now, and am going to bed. will finish later.

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