Dallas PUA

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2007 3:46 am**

I like most of the guys I meet. Most of my friends who are in the seduction community are cool guys and some of them have admirable qualities.
We have common goals here, even if community stuff is all we ever discuss.

But some guys I've met are WEIRD. I'm not talking about stuff that you can overlook and go "he ain't heavy...he's my brother" either.

I read this on Future's Blog:

Sinn and I were talking about a frustrating trend among students this weekend, and it seems to be the barrier for success at a lot of levels: rAFCs and students and whatever are a.) weird and b.) frustratingly low energy and c.) awkward.

What is the cure for someone just being fucking weird? I hesitate to even post this here because it's like a PUA staple to be a fucking weird dude who makes both dudes and girls alike kind of uncomfortable. There are definitely people who are actually reading this right this moment who I (and other readers) would look at and say, 'Damn. That some-bitch is just WEIRD.'

Mind you, I've talked about it with a LOT of community guys who I DON'T find weird, but no one ever brings it up as an issue for the community.

Look, we all know it: most community guys don't really get laid that much. If they do, they get laid a TINY bit more than they used to, and their skillset never really improves so much as they OBTAIN a skillset to begin with, and they basically plateau immediately. Or they just suck forever and ever.

So what to do? Should they model better dudes? I've taken students out on successive one-on-ones, told them directly that they weird me out and that's something girls will notice, and they appear unchanged after long periods of time. I'm not alone in this. Every commercial guy has seen this with the majority of his students, and it's the rule and not the exception at lairs across the country I've found.

We have guys in [the New York Lair], guys who I've seen for the full duration of my attendance here, who I can tell are still obviously treading water.

I am achingly proud of my successful students. Certainly I want more and better wings at some level. Certainly, I want other dudes to succeed and I have the sense of a job well-done, and all kinds of other things... but I can't deny that every lay of theirs also confirms I'm not a total charlatan. (It's illustrative. No comments on my inner-game about teaching and being fit to teach, please; it's not germane to the discussion.)

Most of the time I can write it off as people not going out enough. I was and am psychotic about pick-up. I don't go out as much as I used to, but I definitely did some 20+ day stints in a row in my time, especially last summer, but when motherfuckers don't go out, motherfuckers don't get good.

So, yeah. That's usually the case... but not always. When the student tells me he's going out all the time, and while he's really proud that he can ALMOST open one out of five sets, and he even got a phone number the other night, and he's going to keep hanging in there, and he's sure he'll get a lay any day now... what then?

Worse yet? He's still a weird fucking dude.

There's a fundamental flaw in the community's logic, since so many guys come here to repair the shortcomings in their sex lives. The entry-level student or lair member or mASF lurker comes to the community looking for pick-up lines, when a lot of the guys need to learn how not seem like mental patients first. The kid who used to eat his boogers as a senior in high school must FIRST learn not to eat his boogers... THEN he can walk alongside Mystery as they approach a two-set of strippers.

So how do you do it? How do you take a guy who you wouldn't introduce to your friends or family on a bet... and turn him into someone you wouldn't mind grabbing a beer with?

Weirdness is the consistent x-factor. Sometimes it blossoms into a full-blown creepiness or awkwardness, but most of the time it's that indefatigable je ne sais quoi where something feels just "off" about a person. It's like they're incongruent with life itself. I think addressing that behavioral plateau is the nearest and most relevant issue facing the ever-expanding seduction community.

Is it Landmark? Is it Tony Robbins? I really don't think so. I think it's something far more primitive, far more basic than that...

How can someone fix this? I agree completely with Future here. The community mantra of "more sets" is not the answer.

What do you guys think?

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2007 12:01 pm**

So yeah, What do you do to help that small percent that are "just weird" ? Thats the question that many have asked and have yet to answer. Maybe hypnosis ? I would love to see comments o this as well.

-quip

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2007 12:37 pm**

When I entered this community it was refreshing to find a group of guys bettering themselves. After all this is about improving ones individual integrity, inner game. You must be THE man; getting the woman is just a pleasant side effect. As you become THE man, your own psychology changes. Weirdness wanes as alpha waxes. Men, women, everyone, can sense this at the subconscious level and are drawn to you. One of the major psychological changes for me was when I started building a business. Having people report to me, the responsibility, the need for integrity, I now have more of the tribal leader mentality and that has paid dividends in all aspects of my life. This fundamental psychological change made me less weird.

So what is weird? “Of a strikingly odd or unusual character; strange.” As found on dictionary.com. Weird is not conforming to societal norms. Whether it is how we hold ourselves, what we say, what we do, if it is not “normal”, we are weird. So how do you fix this the weird problem? The weirdness is specific to the person, stemming from early psychological or even traumatic experiences. Reading Hypnotherapy (I’ve heard this is the bible of Hypnotists), by Dave Elman, suggests on solution is using hypnosis to trace the source of the problem to a specific event in one’s past, an event that may have even been totally forgotten by the conscious mind. Realizing what the cause is the first step to recovery.

Being aware of the weirdness is necessary, as so the will to change it. Obvious, yeah, I know. Though I’ve seen guys become aware and advised to correct certain major, yet fixable, weirdness attributes, though ignore the advice. Maybe these weird attributes have become fixated on the person that he is unwilling to change. They have not “needed” to be fixing before. Maybe they do not truly understand what’s is “normal”. Or maybe they do not know the seriousness of the weirdness. I do not know. I do know that I became aware, after listening to David D, that I talked fast. Slowing down my words and movements has made me less weird.

Though in my own personal opinion, being out in field DOES help. To become more acclimated to societal norms you should be in normal society. Society will eventually inform you of what is weird about you. It is then your responsibility to fix it.

- Mojo

Posted: **Wed May 16, 2007 6:28 pm**

'Weird' is just too vague:

Attire can be changed

If they are talking about Star Trek or obscure music groups in sets then he needs to explain how DHV stories and interactive value displays work

The ramifications of eating boogers in a set should be fairly obvious

Future sounds basically frustrated - this is his job and 'weird' students make it tough. But as these techniques become more publicized and commercialized, and his base of students expands from: guys who have clue but want to see how the pros do it, to: guys who eat boogers but have a spare couple of thousand for bootcamp - this trend probably won't change anytime soon

But from what I have seen there are tools to work on just about everything (body language, voice, etc) in the community... he should be able to point out and recommend some things for each of the students problems he witnesses

Posted: **Thu May 17, 2007 11:10 pm**

One key area of focus is on an initial vibe. I had the same problem myself where I noticed that due to my inexperience and resulting nervousness around women, I just wierded them out. Imo, best thing is to have a strong life and social community outside sarging. Easiest thing to do is to always maintain a warm and friendly vibe. I've seen even the biggest afcs and introverts that may not get laid but do get treated well by girls due to their warm vibe.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2007 9:54 am**

I agree that "weird" is too vague. Weird can be a disqualifier and a DHV. If the guy is confident and unapologetic about his weirdness, then "weird" can become "eccentric" and "mysterious." Andy Dick is weird, but I bet he can get some hot chicks, when he's not chasing after men.

Posted: **Fri May 18, 2007 5:34 pm**

Hey,
I know that post sounds negative. It isn't. I wish I could help people, including myself to be better guys.

It was just an observation I had and Future kinda backed it up.

I recently got an audio book version of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.

I believe one key to social awkwardness is rapport with people and groups. Not rapport seeking.
But rapport in a human sense.

"Weird" is vague. But maybe studying how to pick up chicks isn't the place to start. Maybe its something deeper? Like how to connect with other human beings?

Posted: **Mon May 21, 2007 12:41 pm**

Rhody wrote:I agree that "weird" is too vague. Weird can be a disqualifier and a DHV. If the guy is confident and unapologetic about his weirdness, then "weird" can become "eccentric" and "mysterious."

Agree. I am certainly a weird guy as I hae a "very eccentric" personality. Mystery and Brad P. are weird. But weirdness in the absense of confidence makes you look creepy and makes the girl feel awkward.

Posted: **Tue May 22, 2007 3:04 pm**

I've noticed the exact same thing among members of the PUA community... I'm pretty sure at one point in my life I was considered that weird person. I was always in shape, never dressed out of the ordinary, never gave anyone a reason to think I was weird, but I was weird for some reason. My apparent lack of close friends throughout elementary and middle school made this fact very clear. Freshman year of highschool I decided to join martial arts. I signed up at one of the local tae kwondo schools and put all of my time and effort into that. I went to competitions... and won. Slowly my confidence rose and I became more aware of my actions. The latter half of high school was a real joy. My senior year was everything I wanted it to be. I truly believe that my martial arts (which i still do, except now I train in jujitsu and aikido) allowed me to attain the confidence necessary to gain social prowess. I feel more comfortable now then I have ever. I believe a lot of it has to do with the fact that sports puts you in a competitive mindset. If you don't trust your own skill, then you will never attain victory against your opponents. This puts you in alpha mode. I think this is the leading reason why those in sports aka jocks were always considered the hot/cool/whatever back in highschool. I suggest to any of you who believe you are "wierd" or socially inept or lacking in confidence to join some sort of sport. Imo, sports where you and only you decide your victory are def. the best. Try out martial arts... You get extremely fit, you can defend yourself, and you go alpha.

I'm part of a traditional aikido class that focuses on "in the street" fighting aka knife, hand to hand, etc. My instructor as well as some of the students are actually part of the PUA community. We train in The Colony on mondays and wednesdays at 7:00pm. If any of you are interested email me at Danimation7@yahoo.com

Posted: **Wed May 23, 2007 1:36 am**

I'm interested.

Dallas PUA

Akwardness

Akwardness

Not being negative here.