More beginner questions

[omni]

So I met these two girls (I'll call them Friendly and the Target) a couple of weeks ago. I met randomly started talking to Friendly and she invited me to join them at bar the were headed to (she's that friendly). They're both pretty cool but the problem is isolation. I've hung out with them twice. The first time at the aforementioned bar with a male friend of theirs. I made friends with him (even got him to do me favor) but I struggled to not be boring. It was tough because the bar was loud and the target's attention span was was short (partially because of of looking out for her guy friend who didn't want to be there). Some of the canned material wouldn't work because she'd get a phone call in the middle of a routine or I'd have to yell over the background noise.

Last night we met and went to some club where Friendly knew the owner. It was awful. The 10 people in there were all sitting down, the dance floor was empty, and you couldn't speak in less than a yell because of the blaring techno music (and the dj was the fattest I've ever seen). Friendly spent most of her time in the lobby waiting for friends to arrive. Some of their other friends (4 guys, including the guy from last time) showed up in basically stood around the dance floor too. Target saidthe guys were alllike her brothers and I actually enjoyed hanging with them (between loud techno songs).

Anyway, the girls weren't leaving so I decided to call it a night. I asked them to walk me to my car and the target volunteered. This girl is really cute and smart (finished high school early and graduated college at 19). But she had some bad stuff too. She's been engaged twice and two of her boyfriends used to hit her. She's only 23. It seems like that's allbehind her though (except I get the feeling that she either doesn't trust guys or doesn't think she deserves a good one, classic story) She mentioned to me that she doesn't like people she doesn't know touching her. Still, even on the night we met she walked over to hug me goodbye and told me to call her.

Last night I said that we should get together next week. She said she can't during the week because of odd work hours but the weekends are good. I can't tell if I've built enough (or any) attraction. I don't know if she's down for meeting me alone or she assumes the group will be there. She reached to hug me hello & goodbye last night but that doesn't mean much. Is this even worth trying? Also, feel free to critique every wrong step I took. I'm here to learn.

[Vector]

It sounds like the situation was not under your control. Not even close.

It sounds really familiar. There's a really cute girl I know who does pretty much the eaxct same thing to me.

The situation you describe, and the one I'm trying not to fall into, is basically that of an orbiter. She controls the situation and she controls the frame. Especially if she's with her friends (which is all the time), it's really hard to lead the dynamic.

I can't say for sure what you should do in your situation, but what I've been doing is inviting my friends along, sometimes including girls I'm pursuing. Then she's the leader of her tribe, I'm the leader of mine, and she and I are sorta the intersection of our two social circles. WD, Deucex, El Fenix, and 2 girls I've sarged have all met her. And when she greets me and gives me a hug, it boosts my value in the eyes of the girl I bring with me. And conversely she sees that I have lots of friends some of whom are girls.

So in other words she's sorta like a pivot. I've mostly written her off as a target, but she's fun to hang with and she has cool friends. It may work out someday, but like you said, I never get the chance to isolate. She's having too much fun with her other half dozen friends to spend any time alone with me.


I'd also recommend you work on being louder. Learn about vocal projection so loud music doesn't shut your game down. If you can carry an interesting enough conversation over the noise, it can also be an excuse to isolate, "let's go over there where it's quieter."

Also, when it's loud, don't lean in. I can't stress this enough. Talk as loud as you can and lean back. If she can't hear (which is likely) she will lean in to you, which is very strong body language. The physical act of leaning in to you will subconsciously raise your value to her (and everyone else too).

[omni]

Thanks for the advice. That all makes good sense. I probably wouldn't have thought of bringing other friends along. I think I'm going to try to get her to meet me for happy hour after work this week. That way, it'll be just the 2 of us. That'll solve a lot of the problem.

[quipster]

Well from the sounds of it you are borderline of being just friends. You need to take control and be a man seriously. In this situation I would probably try a couple of things. Next time you two meet up (hopefully she meets up with YOU at your chosen location) is spike her BT and gradually build up sexual tension and escalate the touching. Be cocky and funny and act like you are the PRIZE. If you are around her and her friends, you can always run game on her friends to build up a jealousy plot.

You can also try waiting two weeks or so and getting in touch with her. Hopefully she will miss you and from that point you can almost start all over and sexual escalation may be easier. Kind of hard to explain so I will try in a later thread.

Also to note on frame control: stolen from -strapper

The easiest way I apply that is that no matter what, I have control of the conversational thread. If she talks over me I withdraw attention enough until she looks back to me then I bust on her. Even something as simple as "EXCUUUUSE ME, um hello, talking here? thank you! so ANYWAYS as I was saying"

-quip

[TheDoGhoUse]

attack it like quip says, and then if you notice her and her friends starting to have more of an isolated conversation and you are not controlling the tempo then walk away for a little while, go talk to another group of people and if you really want to rub it in go sarge another group of girls. Make it to where the situation and conversation is always better when you are around so then when you leave they want you to come back. Make them miss you.