how to unmindfuck yourself

[warriorpoet]

just wanted to bring up/share something that applies to every single novice/intermediate pickup guy (including me) that i have met so far, in any lair, online and off, ever, and it deals with the problem of how to manage all this pickup shit when its all too much for you

heres the problem: you need to fix all the bad shit you do without destroying your self esteem and turning into a socially warped nutcase, while simultaneously giving yourself encouragement so that you gain confidence, learn from your experiences, move forward in your development, and get comfy doing all this outrageous shit like whip your dick out and sing kumbaya (which is a mad song btw) to the blonde over there

the thing is, when you start out and you have to basically rewrite yourself and your personality, it seems like all you do is kick yourself in the balls for having bad BL, bad EC, bad tonality, not being alpha, not being funny, not being cocky, bad this, bad that, bad everything, and you dwell and dwell and dwell and without realising it, hey presto, youre mr negative who doesnt know how to talk to people any more, is less fun than before, and worst case scenario, spirals into a massive emotional hole that gets worse and worse week after week until youre a walking talking Bad Mood and no one calls you anymore.

if, on the other hand, you dont do this and go out all the time, approach like a madman and pat yourself on the back with almost every interaction, youre just humping your own leg because you suck, but tell yourself youre doing great, when in reality, youre sucking so badly that you never get past a3, and you get a wholesale account with Kleenex so that you can a) wipe your tears and b) wipe gallons of cum off your hand

Soooo the really basic KISS approach to this is to write down and review all the bad shit you do AS FAST AS YOU CAN ie in as little time as possible, come up with a plan to get over whatever it is, then go back to your super positive mindframe and pat yourself on the back madly, making absolutely sure that next time, in your ultra brief review of the shit you did wrong, that you MAKE SURE that you actually adressed/eliminated some of your problems/sticking points/whatever IN THE FIELD

I repeat: IN THE FIELD. dont be a keyboard jockey, or one of those guys who thinks and thinks and thinks about pickup...but never does.

I dont mean to be one of those wannabe gurus. this has been covered by DD and a million other guys out there all over asf, im sure they all wrote something much better bla bla bla whatever kiss my ass. My observation has nothing to do with what you think about - its for how long you spend thinking about it, and what this does to your baseline mindstate/frame.

[Mojo]

This is a legit problem. Maintaining a positive, optimistic mind frame is essential for pick-up and anything in life. Do not see every rejection or failure as an obstacle. There are no obstacles, there are only little speed bumbs on your drive to PUA-dom. Rather, see it as a success in discovering what not to do. Then don't do it and move ahead. When you have a success, you have learned what does work.

Maintaining a positive mindset can be a challenge during the learning experience. Initial failures may anchor themselves in the sarging mindset so when you go sarging that mindset might automatically reappear. To counter this, when you are on fire, anchor that feeling by snapping a rubber band around your wrist. Next time, when you need a positive mindset, snap that rubberband to evoke the proper mindset (more of that technique at http://dallaspua.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=277 )

Hope this helps,

Mojo

[flash07]

Yeah i can understand where you are coming from on this one but the way i look at it is i created a new person. Im not changing this and this and this from the old who i am with my friends and who i am when i go out are two different personalities. im usually a fairly laid back guy but i work with sales so when i sarge and when i work my entertainer comes out. So i dont look as a "i'm a terrible person" i need to change all this i just look at it as honing the inner entertainer in me

[Tribulus1000]

Love this post. Excellent.
Do you read Tyler's RSD Blog? This post is in-line with his blog. Nice.

Soooo the really basic KISS approach to this is to write down and review all the bad shit you do AS FAST AS YOU CAN ie in as little time as possible, come up with a plan to get over whatever it is, then go back to your super positive mindframe and pat yourself on the back madly, making absolutely sure that next time, in your ultra brief review of the shit you did wrong, that you MAKE SURE that you actually adressed/eliminated some of your problems/sticking points/whatever IN THE FIELD

I repeat: IN THE FIELD. dont be a keyboard jockey, or one of those guys who thinks and thinks and thinks about pickup...but never does.

Things that seem to work to enhance your skill are:

- Focussing on body language. The canned routines allow more for this.
Body language and just feeling comfortable are essential.

- Going back over your sets in your mind as you want them to occur. Revision in other words.

- Sticking point analysis. However you do it, find the points where things go off course and what you can do to fix them.

- Paying attention to what you're getting IN-FIELD.
Are you invited? Approach invitations?
Can you see 'open sets'?
Can you see Buying Temp (or attraction spike) spikes?

Of course, you have to read or study. Its part of doing this stuff. And taking breaks - like I'm doing now - is actually a good thing.

All I can say is that you keep going. You put a smile on your face and you go back in and talk to another set or lone wolf.


Tribulus