My progression-edit:2-25

[evolve]

As I sit here and type these thoughts I look to my immediate right and I see 2 beautiful little girls I helped create. I am staying in a small box with 4 walls at my baby sister's house. The divorce should be finalized in a couple of months and I have weekend visitation of my daughters. A divorce that should have been in effect already had I not been a wimp and called our relationship over instead of dragging it out. I am absolutely excited and relieved to be out of that relationship that was sucking the essence out of my life. I am beginning to pick out the pieces. Progress seems to be coming fast. I truly believe in the power of attraction and positive thinking. So many of the things I have asked for have come to be reality, and it has only been a couple of months since we parted ways.

6-8 months before this finally went down and the proverbial "shit hit the fan" I stumbled upon "The Game". Now, I tend to be a happy go lucky kind of guy by nature. But after reading this I began to devise a plan to be able to hit the ground running. If I were to run down the list of events that led to demise of our relationship, many would probably think I was a fool for allowing the marriage to continue for as long as it did. Despite all of that I have no hatred towards her. I thank her for what she has taught me. It obviously is a very painful method to learn, but damn- I learned very well. I realize now that when we met I was in a very desperate needy point in my life and I attracted a very needy desperate woman into my little world. The biggest lesson would have to be that no matter how hard you try, boredom eventually sets in. I gave her everything and by doing so left very little mystery to me. She bored with me and began to look elsewhere for her adventures. I know better now.

I have read almost all the material of any worth out. I have purchased many videos and listened to many hours of audio. In all honesty I had many of the tools needed to be a successful PUA but never quite fully developed a system. Luckily I am quite humorous and can keep a woman's attention for an extended period of time. What I need to work on is using that ability to create attraction. One of the craziest things is that I actually have heard some of the "masters" using material and jokes I have used in the past(and I thought I was original). Although up until now I never even thought about how much of our daily interactions are "routines" or "canned" material. Once I realized that fact it began to make the the game very easy in my mind.
Those are the reasons why I think I will do extremely well once I destroy my mental roadblocks. Many of the key inner game elements are beliefs I already have in place. I just need repetition to begin to make it all just flow like water.

Physically I am a little above average...or so says HOTORNOT.com. (I set up a profile there to get feedback on how women perceived me physically. Damn! I just realized something. The picture that is being rated is me about 7 years ago. DOH! I need to upload some new images. I actually came across the idea from one of the PUA to try and figure out how you can improve your style and looks. ) I am what I am. About a month before my ex and I parted, I began to make some changes. Those changes began to get the attention of a lot of females that I come in contact with. The responses were pretty damn eye-opening. Up until that point I had not put any effort into my looks. I began to realize that a change needed to be made and did just that. My ex seemed to be pretty disturbed by all these changes. Like I said, I wanted to hit the ground running.

My biggest challenge is my damn approach anxiety. Once the ice is broken I can talk and hold attention, although my goals in conversation are different now. I had a tendency to end up in the "friend zone". But I digress. Many of the things I have learned in my life I learned on my own. But this seems to be something I need to learn with a friend or mentor. I personally believe that if I just begin to open as many sets as possible that I would get over my anxiety. I attended my first community event on Wednesday and met some cool folks. I loved the atmosphere of the event and flow of knowledge that was going on from the moment I walked in.

I have never been able to share any of my experiences or concerns before now. I look forward to going out and sarging with my fellow PUA.

My main concern is making time to actually get out and make this goal a reality. As you may recall, my daughters are laying asleep as I type this entry. But I will work something out to begin to actually hit the field. I anticipate beginning either Sunday or Monday. I am on vacation this following so I hope to begin putting some of the knowledge I have overflowing in my head to good use.

Time to blow up my anxiety.

[boyracer]

Great write! There is so much of what you that I can relate to.

I have found myself in the same situation, where I spend so much time reading, etc. I promise, there is no substitute for time in the field.

I still have a problem with AA, but constantly working on it.

We'll probably be going out a few nights this week. Let us know which works best for you.