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not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 1:07 am
by Khaos
basically I tend to not really give a shit about most of the people in the venue and believe its a waste of time talking to them to build social proof, because I believe social proof does not really matter that much in getting the girl. It has also made me not care about befriending the regulars in the bar because i view it as a waste of my time. What should I do.

Re: not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 12:18 pm
by voyager
What you don't like in other people is a projection of what you don't like in yourself (if you are a psych buff, this is the "shadow" Jung talks about). You have to work on your inner game. It's important to see that everyone has value, not just the people that you immediately want something from.

I wish I had more pointers to say than that, but I'm right where you are. I'm trying to take steps to fix my mentality. Stuff like the NLP talk run via the boards a few weeks back seemed to help a bit. (Thanks again to ya, mojo)

Re: not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 1:21 pm
by swaggot
I agree with voyager. Even though there are occurances of getting the girl without building social proof, your chances of success is highly compromised without at least SOME social proof. It's like going to war without a gun. There are times where I don't want to talk to anybody and I just want to get laid, but I remind myself in order to get the prize you gotta pay the price. Unless your satisfied with picking up women of lower value you, need social proof in order to win that HB. If you don't care to talk to people in the venue bring someone you WOULD care to talk to. Such as a Friend or (even better) a female pivot. That way, girls see that you have some friends who enjoy you and they might have the chance to do the same.

Re: not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:15 pm
by Bull Run
Social proof is incredibly powerful. There's nothing wrong with using some down time you have while you're at the bar/club to chat it up, at random, with other people. You'd be surprised who knows who and how quickly you gain traction in a set if someone at least knows you and knows you're a cool guy.

Think Uptown. It's the poster child for social circle and social proof game.

Re: not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:03 am
by Dragon
Hey Bull Run.. how's it going?

Re: not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:32 pm
by MasterKrafft
I notice that in myself sometimes, its usually when my standards are so hi that I cant even meet them.

Its most definitely an inner-game issue though.

Now, in my opinion this does not mean you need to change the behavior but if your going to act more important than everyone else then it is worth knowing how to leverage it to your benefit.

It could be very socially destructive if people figure out your some kind of social degenerate instead of some cocky guy that's too good for everyone else.

Its a fine line though, how do most people perceive you, how do most targets perceive you, more importantly how do you perceive yourself?

Re: not caring about other people in the venue

PostPosted: Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:40 pm
by Smirks
It's my opinion that you shouldn't go out with the sole intent to meet girls. You should go out to be social, have fun, and meet PEOPLE. Like someone said above me, (nearly) everyone has value of some sort. If you can talk to a stranger you have no interest in sticking your dick in, you will improve your ability to talk to those you do. I know you, and you will say that you don't have any issues with that, but just think about it.