Talking with women about pickup

[the_devil]

I have no idea how to handle this when I've gotten past report and its a new subject. Lets just say that I botched a booty call over this, and I have a budding LTR that this could effect. A good friend of mine with no relation to the community but many to life coaching (both highly related IMHO) said to avoid the subject and to seek a higher level of training. He says without the adequate level of understanding that putting the changes I have made to myself in front of others is scary and causes them to shut down because then they are forced to reflect upon their own lives.

Tonight I was asked to leave, and told that "I feel like some kind of experiment that everyone knows about". This is after much kino escalation with a woman I have already slept with. I feel pretty invested in the LTR (different girl if that wasn't clear) and I feel like I may have been projecting some feelings of uncertainty about the booty call which is why I ultimatly sabatoged myself (subconsciously). All of this can be a backward rationalization though. I havent had sex in almost 3 weeks and am super horny.

I am fully capable of dealing with being "outed" in a venue during the first time meeting a woman but often my experience with the community doesn't come up till after a lot of report. What I want to know is what is the best way of approaching the subject. Pickup is important to my life, I cant just forget that I ever discovered it. That'd be like forgetting how the internal combustion engine is important to transportation.

[the_devil]

Alright nobody seems to know so I'll answer my own question after discussing it with Gamble. To think about it now he was dealing with a similar issue when I met him. I hope someone benefits from it.

Don't speak about it at length. It's best left a mystery. Women hear the details and it gets made into manipulation in their minds. As far as I am concerned the words "pickup artist" and "community" are stricken from my vocabulary. I just don't know how to be congruent with it.

Don't know if this is the answer for everyone but its what makes since for me.

[Scoundrel]

I often discuss pick up with women I'm seeing. But, I talk about it as evolutionary psychology. I'll talk about body language too. But "pick up" is a term I avoid. Women don't like the notion that guys are out there trying to use their evolutionary programming against them. Even though they do the same thing.

Someone taught them how to wear make up, how to flirt, what clothes to wear, etc. All that takes advantage of men's programming. We cannot ignore it. We see something that looks like boobs and we turn our heads before we have time to think.

Learning pick up gives men the upper hand and many women see it as creepy or disreputable in some way. But, all we're really doing is learning how to present our selves in a favorable way.

IMHO pick up is really about NOT doing the wrong things. You may try explaining that you are simply learning to be a better communicator. That most of your life you've been shy and you're working hard to come out of your shell. But, DON'T TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

[Tribulus1000]

I am in agreement with Scoundrel on this one.

Talk about it but talk about your insights and your journey. Erase the word "pickup" or "player" from you vocab around the girls.