On Approaching Repost (by Boiled Brain)

[Tribulus1000]

On Approaching by
Boiled Brain

This is in response to the night game thread, which I think is a great one with many good points.

I just wanted to respond to the whole "direct" vs "indirect" approach part of the thread. There is a lot more useful stuff in that thread though which is more important than this stuff I am writing about here.

How I usually approach:

First I get her attention: if it is possible I approach her from the front so that she can see I am walking towards her. I will lock eye contact with her at this point if possible. A lot of times she will see you coming and look away and pretend she didn't notice, because she just realized that a really cool guy is coming to talk to her and she doesn't want you to know that you won already. If it is not possible to approach from the front I will get her attention by touching her in some way, usually the upper arm. Depending on the situation I might lightly trace the tops of my fingers from her upper arm down to her hand, then take her hand and turn her around, or I may take her upper arm and turn her around directly with that, or I may take both shoulders and turn her around that way, or the most fun one is to turn her around by taking her waist, but this one is a bit more advanced than the other ones. There is no specific one right way. It will depend on her and where she is and also your own personality. You will have to learn what is correct the same way I did: by doing it wrong over and over again until you get it right.

I do not say anything until I have fully gotten her attention. This means she is looking at me with full eye contact, our faces are 1-2 feet (.5 meter) apart for bars and daygame, almost touching for nightclubs.

I look her in the eyes and I smile until she starts smiling. There are many different types of smiles. Not every smile is the type of smile that makes you feel happy when you see it. You will have to learn the correct smile. Also the smile that works on one girl will not necessarily work on another girl. How do you learn the correct smile? You have to figure out what is the correct emotion you should be feeling when you approach her like this. Then you have to allow this emotion to fill your body and give you power.

We talk. After a few minutes in (less than 5 minutes) I will move her somewhere. Depending on the context, for example if I stopped her in the street then maybe I will start us walking somewhere, or maybe if it is a bar I might say the music is too loud, or I want to listen to the music in another room, or sometimes it is as small as just turning her to face another direction. How I move her is primarily by how I touch her, not what I say to her. The point is to show her that it is safe for her to follow my lead, that I want the best things for her and that it feels good for her to listen to me.

It doesn't take very long. The number one mistake all guys make is they wait too long. Remember sometimes you win even before you talk to her. But you will definitely make the mistake where you move too fast. It is unavoidable. If you move too fast, be a man about it. Apologize to her, give her some space, make her laugh some more .. tell her you will try again in a little while when she wants it more. Then try it again in a little while when she wants it more.

Show her what you want to do with her. Don't try to trick her into doing something, make her part of the trick. The two of you are pulling a magic trick together on the rest of the world. The rest of the world cannot believe that something so beautiful and so powerful can happen between two people so quickly. It would be cruel to make the world see the truth, because then you are forcing them to see their own inadequacies. So just let them believe what they want to believe, and let yourselves do what you want to do with each other.

What did I say? What did I talk about?

It doesn't matter. Actually none of the stuff I wrote about matters either. When you know which direction you are driving, it doesn't matter what color your car is painted. You will get to where you want to go.