Brought home an easy lay tonight. Feel like shit. Betrayed every goal I have set for myself. I thought I'd take a hit off the ol' validation crack pipe and take home a very eager fatty. I even feel shitty wording it that way I hate that I have to judge people in that way. I swore to myself a long time ago I would never do this again. I smoked cigarettes, drank more than I really wanted to, and made my friend I brought with me catch a cab.
I made the understanding with her that it would be sex only. no strings, simply my place, my dick, thats it. The chick is following me around the bar like a dog on a leash. Then when we get back to my place, the chick gives me resistance about blowing me. After basically telling her this was not gonna happen unless she did, she complied. Then we start having sex. I stop unsatisfied, telling the chick I'm done. She wants to sleep in my bed. I tell her "I'm not feeling this" and ask her to leave. She immediately feels rejected. Storms out, cursing me in more ways than I care to type on her way out. Not to combat the assault of the girl, but I was doing well with girls I was actually attracted to earlier in the night.
I would like to take this as a lesson to myself and hopefully post this as a lesson to others. Never take the low road. I would have been much more content doing what I planned on. Being a good friend, making healthy decisions, and not hooking up with someone I had not established any connection with. I keep learning this lesson over and over again but can't seem to make it cross contexts. Rent a cheap apartment, get roaches. Buy a cheap car, it breaks down. Sleep with someone you aren't attracted to and feel like shit. They are all the same thing.
