Something I was thinking about...

[Gamble]

I was thinking today about myself and how I have developed during my time in the community. When I first became involved in this society, I had goals in mind. I wanted to be able to go up and get anyone's number I wanted. I wanted a relationship. I wanted to be truly loved by a woman for the first time in over three years. Somehow along the way, as I passed my goals and became a pickup artist, I lost sight of myself and of what I wanted. I became immersed in the community, techniques, women, and alcohol...

What I had forgotten was that my main goal was to actually get into a long term relationship. When I got the chance to be with someone that I actually liked, I started looking for reasons for it to end, and then she found a reason first. It wasn't a bad reason either. I had already told her about my involvement in the community, but I sugar-coated it by telling her about my intentions when I first entered the community and leaving out the really dirty, grungy parts that I am actually ashamed of. She soon found out about the dirty, grungy parts and interrogated me about them. I couldn't lie to her...

What I have come to realize from this is that a lot of people come into the community with good intentions. They come in looking for a long term relationship and then find themselves immersed in all the things they have never known. And let me challenge you to this: Imagine what your future girlfriend or wife would think about some of your posts. Think of the way that they are going to view your endeavors. Some of the methods used in this and some of the posts on all of these forums are filth to a woman. And if you open your eyes to it, you can see the filth in them too. Do not go so deep that you cannot pull yourself back out again if you need to.

The same goes for the guys that are just in this to go out and get laid. One day, you will meet a girl that you are truly interested in. How do you explain the things that you have done? These things cannot stay hidden in a relationship forever. Anything that you keep hidden is a lie. And every lie in a relationship can be detrimental.

All I am saying is look over yourself and set your goals again. Once you reach those goals, stop. You don't have to be a master pickup artist to get the girl of your dreams. You just have to be yourself. They will love you more if you do this.

I am hereby withdrawing myself completely from the community until further notice. I want to leave this behind and get my life back in order. Some of you are my close friends now, and I will be glad to hang out and continue our friendship, but I do want to make this clear. I'm out.

Gamble

[the_devil]

Wow, I'm impressed. Though I know it wasn't the pickup community I know what it's like to immerse yourself that way. Find your balance, if you don't your just gonna continue to be unhappy.

[Scoundrel]

If there's one thing that puts me off LTRs it's married women.

I am not looking for a long term, mutually exclusive relationship. I've been there and though it had it's advantages, I have found I'm much happier living on my own and having a number of women visit from time to time. I like the variety.

I am not ashamed of any of my posts. I tell women the same things I say here. I tell every woman before I have sex with her that I am not interested in an LTR. If they still want sex with me they understand the rules from the get go. I never lie abut this. There's no need.

There are thousands of books on the shelves teaching women how to trap a man. Do a search on Amazon and see for your self. The PUA community is the first time men have gotten together and exchanged ideas about getting what we want.

I'm not closing the door to the idea of one day getting married again. But, I don't realistically see it happening for me anytime soon. But, if it does I'll know I'm with the perfect woman for me and she'll know that if she tries any BS that I have plenty of other options.

[Gamble]

I don't disagree with you at all scoundrel, I just plunged to deep this go around. If something happens to this LTR (which I hope it won't), I will know my limits next time.

[Tribulus1000]

I was thinking today about myself and how I have developed during my time in the community. When I first became involved in this society, I had goals in mind. I wanted to be able to go up and get anyone's number I wanted. I wanted a relationship. I wanted to be truly loved by a woman for the first time in over three years. Somehow along the way, as I passed my goals and became a pickup artist, I lost sight of myself and of what I wanted. I became immersed in the community, techniques, women, and alcohol...

What I had forgotten was that my main goal was to actually get into a long term relationship. When I got the chance to be with someone that I actually liked, I started looking for reasons for it to end, and then she found a reason first. It wasn't a bad reason either. I had already told her about my involvement in the community, but I sugar-coated it by telling her about my intentions when I first entered the community and leaving out the really dirty, grungy parts that I am actually ashamed of. She soon found out about the dirty, grungy parts and interrogated me about them. I couldn't lie to her...

What I have come to realize from this is that a lot of people come into the community with good intentions. They come in looking for a long term relationship and then find themselves immersed in all the things they have never known. And let me challenge you to this: Imagine what your future girlfriend or wife would think about some of your posts. Think of the way that they are going to view your endeavors. Some of the methods used in this and some of the posts on all of these forums are filth to a woman. And if you open your eyes to it, you can see the filth in them too. Do not go so deep that you cannot pull yourself back out again if you need to.

The same goes for the guys that are just in this to go out and get laid. One day, you will meet a girl that you are truly interested in. How do you explain the things that you have done? These things cannot stay hidden in a relationship forever. Anything that you keep hidden is a lie. And every lie in a relationship can be detrimental.

All I am saying is look over yourself and set your goals again. Once you reach those goals, stop. You don't have to be a master pickup artist to get the girl of your dreams. You just have to be yourself. They will love you more if you do this.

I am hereby withdrawing myself completely from the community until further notice. I want to leave this behind and get my life back in order. Some of you are my close friends now, and I will be glad to hang out and continue our friendship, but I do want to make this clear. I'm out.

Gamble

Interesting post. I finally had some time to actually read it and think about what you were saying.

You say you have had success and gotten laid quite a bit. That's good. You also say that you met someone you liked and that you had divulged your dark, dirty secrets. And that part makes you somewhat ashamed.

I will give you my opinion on this and its just that...my opinion. There is no right or wrong in what I'm about to say.

You seem to be ashamed of your activities and your posts as though what you say or do is somehow bad. The only place this is coming from is you. You say "Anything you keep hidden is a lie." You also say "some of the posts on all of these forums are filth to a woman".
I don't subscribe to this point of view.

If you want to divulge all your dirt to women, then that is your choice. If you choose to keep things "hidden", then that is your choice as well.
Sincerity and honesty are not exclusive to what you've done (past tense). They are how people feel NOW.

What I mean is that if I've done crack, had many women, maybe killed a few squirrels, it doesn't change how I feel about a particular girl. You love a person because you love a person. Period.

This idea of TOTAL HONESTY is bullshit.

Who the fuck says we have to be totally honest and divulge every single event or troubling matter in our lives to women. Do they do this for us? And how would we feel if they did? C'mon man!

I was reading about Sex Tourism...do a search on Google (Yeah I'm thinking of doing an Amsterdam sex tour)..anyway there are these women in Canada who go down to the Caribbean on "romance tours". These women are going down to the islands to pay for male prostitutes!! And this is somehow reframed as "romance". Island boys are not prostitutes when paid? Huh?

This just shows how delusional women really are.

Anyway that's just one example I found recently about how there's a double standard .

What would you think of a woman who told you about her island "romance" tour in the caribbean and how she had had sex with several island boys and had paid them?
Would you think "Why the fuck is this chick telling me this shit?" I would. I would wonder why she wanted to tell me how she got her rocks off. That's her business and her body. I would wonder about her sanity.

Same goes for me...if a woman wants me to tell all my dirty sex acts, then she's mental. She needs some medication and a white padded room because that's none of her fucking business.

Just my opinion.

T

[Scoundrel]

Good post Trib. I agree with almost everything.

Personally I don't judge people by how the get their rocks off. If a woman told me about going to where ever it was to have sex with island boys (or girls) I'd laugh and ask her for details. I think it sounds like a great time for her. I would even encourage to do it again.

[Gamble]

I honestly don't know what the fuck I was talking about here. That girl was crazy and my seduction got turned around on me. I was lured in by her and i broke away earlier today. I don't feel ashamed by what I have done, and what I have learned. And for what I have posted, I don't really give a shit. When this girl took my phone and deleted every girl's number in it and tried to control my life, I realized that I had fucked up and she pushed it too far. I really did like that girl, but not enough to change who I am. I am a rake and I will continue to be a rake. I tried the LTR thing and I realized why it had been so long. The only thing I am ashamed of is of her making me feel ashamed of something I shouldn't be. I will continue to grow and learn in the community, but I do have my goals in mind now. I am going to be focusing on my life in general, and I hope to someday aspire to my new goals within the community. I'm sorry for the back and forth on this issue guys, I guess I was just confused as to what I wanted at the moment.

[Gamble]

Can I just delete this post? lol

[Lucky9]

This post in my opinion is good, although your emotions are up and down for a few days this post can put a relationship in perspective for certain individuals. I think that Trib is right who says we need to tell a women everything though, because im sure for almost every story I omit they would do the same for a story of themselves. Decisions can be hard under certain circumstances, use your best judgement.

[Scoundrel]

IMHO You should never worry about showing a woman your true self. It will all come out sooner or later anyway. If she has issues with the community talk to her about how she had help in learning how to attract men too. Someone showed her how to put on makeup and how to dress etc.

We are here trying to become the kind of men women love. We are doing it for them as well as ourselves. I see no shame in this.