Need Help Closing

[PersianPrince]

I'm pretty clueless on the process of closing. I don't know how to close a girl so that I am both 1)clear in that she understands that we are going to be someplace alone and 2)indirect enough so that I can actually close her without getting rejected (after all, she's not supposed to really know I'm just trying to hook up with her. Or should she know my intentions but she just needs an excuse so that she can rationalize it later?)

For example, I was on a day 3 the other day and my game was awesome the whole night. The girl seemed to love everything I said and I used kino. The attraction was there.

As I was walking her home, I tried to cleverly close. We were talking about my favorite band:

Me: So, have you downloaded any of ELO's songs yet since I last saw you?
Her: Aww ahah no not yet, I forgot.
Me: ahaha you're terrible. I can't stay for long cause I have a final tomorrow, but I'll download some of their best songs on your computer.
Her: Ok!

I guess it didn't click in her head that me downloading songs for her meant that I was going to be in her apartment. Nevertheless, somehow she brought up the band again and I told her again that I'd get her the best ELO songs.

Her: oh, well you can't come into my room. Its uhh, uhh...
Me: Too messy?
Her: Yeah, its really disorganized and stuff.
Me: I understand. I'll just tell you 3 songs. You better not forget them when you go back .


What did I do wrong here? When isolating a girl to, say, her apartment do you ask her ("well, is it cool if I come over for a few minutes and download some of their songs")? Or do you state what's going to happen and invite yourself over ("I've only got a few, but let me come over and download a few songs.")?

[Neuromancer]

I'm pretty clueless on the process of isolation. I don't know how to isolate a girl so that I am both 1)clear in that she understands that we are going to be someplace alone and 2)indirect enough so that I can actually isolate her without getting rejected (after all, she's not supposed to really know I'm just trying to hook up with her. Or should she know my intentions but she just needs an excuse so that she can rationalize it later?)

Isolate from what I have seen and read is usually done at the beginning of the comfort phase of seduction. You isolate from her blockers when you have attracted her enough and disarmed the blockers. It is a comfort builder. What you are talking about is more a closing.

For example, I was on a day 3 the other day and my game was awesome the whole night. The girl seemed to love everything I said and I used kino. The attraction was there.

If the kino was there and she was interested, ie heavy kissing etc but no foreplay, the only thing you have to beat is LMR.

As I was walking her home, I tried to cleverly isolate. We were talking about my favorite band:

Me: So, have you downloaded any of ELO's songs yet since I last saw you?
Her: Aww ahah no not yet, I forgot.
Me: ahaha you're terrible. I can't stay for long cause I have a final tomorrow, but I'll download some of their best songs on your computer.
Her: Ok!

You might have been more clear here. "I can come up to your room and start some downloads for you on your computer. But you shouldn't need to if you've escalated kino. If you had done push pull you could have been kissing heavily at the door, stopped and said, "look I have a final tomorrow so I can't stay long,(time constraint) but, I have a really cool song I want you to hear, It should only take a moment to download on your computer."

I guess it didn't click in her head that me downloading songs for her meant that I was going to be in her apartment. Nevertheless, somehow she brought up the band again and I told her again that I'd get her the best ELO songs.

Her: oh, well you can't come into my room. Its uhh, uhh...
Me: Too messy?
Her: Yeah, its really disorganized and stuff.
Me: I understand. I'll just tell you 3 songs. You better not forget them when you go back .

You shot yourself in the foot here. Your job is to disarm the excuses not give them to her. If you had her at this point and this was just LMR you could have pulled a freeze out. when she says "... It's uhh, uhh..." you just say that's cool and turn and walk away, you can throw in a good night. If things have been going well she should stop you. Reward her with some kino and then start pushing again. Of course when you do something like that you have to be ready to walk away. If she doesn't try to stop you just keep going. Remember DeNiro in heat when he said "Never get into something you can't walk away from at a moments notice."

What did I do wrong here? When isolating a girl to, say, her apartment do you ask her ("well, is it cool if I come over for a few minutes and download some of their songs")? Or do you state what's going to happen and invite yourself over ("I've only got a few, but let me come over and download a few songs.")?

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[PersianPrince]

Whoops. I used Isolating when I meant Closing.

deuce, I really appreciate your advice. You really helped me realize some things I should have and could have done. Nevertheless, I am happy for making the mistakes I did, because I wil now correct them. By the way, I don't really know if I'll see her again, I messed up pretty bad ahaha. I didn't mention this, but after I screwed up the close attempt, I tried to kiss close her a bit after. (i know, i know, shouldn't have done this, but I told myself that no matter what, I would go for a Kclose that night).

I think one of the biggest mistakes I made was that I did not go in for the kiss before I tried to get into her apartment. Also, I did a lot of kino, but the most intense kino I did was grazing my hand down her back. I was thinking about reaching to hold her hand/grabbing her shoulder and pulling her close to me, but I was too scared to do it. I need more sexual tension in my interactions, yet I need to be more comfortable myself with sexual tension. It is awesome, yet it is a sticking point of mine.

Is it needy to ask a girl if you want to take it further, or do you have to kind of force it yourself? For example, is it bad to ask to kiss a girl instead of going for it, or to ask her if I could go up to her apt. to download songs?

[Neuromancer]

Dancer just looks at the girls he's seeing and says "I'm going to kiss you now." or "I really want to kiss you now." The thing I have learned is when your gut tells you to do something it is generally right. My reasoning behind this is that subconscious is read her subconscious body language and sending my conscious hints. I may not consciously be reading the IOIs but they are still getting through. If you feel like you should be kissing her, you probably should be. Now, this may take some calibration so keep that in mind when going in for the kiss. If you screw it up, WHO CARES! Turn around and say hello to the blond walking by. Like my sig says, "It's better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done."

[JohnnyBravo]

Another line from his sig is to "Think Nike" (Gee....that sounds familiar....I wonder where you got that from? I noticed you didn't give credit for that one!). Any way, IMO it's AFC to ask a girl if you can kiss her. Think Nike and "just do it"! You'll know if she's into it or not. Definitely should've been escalating kino more and kissing before attempting getting into appt.

[Neuromancer]

hehe, well i gave credit, to nike, you know the guys that came up with it... but I'm sure that with a little digging, someone can find a thread about think nike if they tried. Of course if you need regular ataboys just let me know and I will start an ataboy thread.

[JohnnyBravo]

Don't need it at all. I took that as a compliment actually. Nobody has ever included a phrase of mine in their sig. That's pretty cool. Sarge on!

JB

[Neuromancer]

actually an ataboy thread isn't a bad idea. if someone does something real cool, they post it on the ataboy thread and everyone posts to say ataboy.