The Why - from an AFC soon to be PUA

[Slider]

Looking at my life, I have never had a woman that I picked out. It has always been the other way around, and I am really tired of not having success when I initiate. The few times I have picked the woman out, it has been either they were a slut, just liked me because of appearance, or we knew some mutual people that gave me instant comfort level. I have a bad sticking point beyond the open, and plan to learn how to execute through to the close... and have success after the close as well.

I am tired of this, and ready to make a change. The thing myself and anyone who is about before embarking on this journey to improve their life needs to think about is, WHY I want to do this.

It is very important to have a good WHY in your mind before you attempt anything difficult. If your reason WHY you are doing this isn't strong, obsticles will deter you and you will have difficulty maintaining high spirits and achieving your goal.

Everything in my life that has been difficult to attain was well worth it in the end. The things that I have been successful at, I had a very strong WHY. The things I didn't do well in and pussed out of, well... I didn't have a good WHY and let my excuses deter me.

There are lots of things people WANT, but your WHY is your fuel to get you there. A great WHY consumes you. It gives you purpose. A great WHY makes you UNSTOPABLE. Your WHY gets you the things you WANT.

Michael Jordan, Earnest Hemmingway, Michelangelo, and Tiger Woods all have exceptional WHYs to make the push themselves so hard. To be elite, this has to be engraned into your soul to see thorugh the hard times when you meet failure. Your WHY will pick you back up.

Approaching women is one of the most dificult things in the world. It can be very intimidating. Trying something new in the presense of a beautiful woman can be even more intimidating. I need a good WHY to help me stick to the plan and practice tirelessly until I achieve my goal.

Here it is.

My reason WHY I want to learn how to attract beautiful and great women is to fulfill the half of my life that feels empty and unsuccessfull.

I am very passionate about my aspirations. My perfect life is to be a successful business man who leads an exciting life and has a woman that makes all AFC's jelouse. This is because I have a very competative spirit, and can't stand not being at the top of the foodchain. I am going in the right direction with 1/2 of my life, and need to fix the other half so I will have no regrets looking back in my aging years. There have been times that I have regreted not going for something, and that pain is too much to deal with on something this important.

This may seem corny or dorky. Really, I don't care if anyone thinks it is. My hope is that this message can help motivate some of the new guys on this board when they get frusterated from messing up and can help them push through the difficult times.

In closing, I strongly encourage anyone who is making a committment to change their lives to first consider their WHY before their WANTS. Think about WHY you want your WANTS, and you will achieve them. Good luck to everyone who is in the same position I am right now, and congrats to the guys who are at the finish-line.

- Slider

[boomer]

Slider,
This is a well written and timely post. Dude, you nailed it. No why? Then 'No how' and soon becomes a 'No go'.

The why for me, is to cure a one-itis.

[Vector]

Slider, your description sounds a lot like mine. It's possible that I'm just projecting my own feelings into your words but it seems similar.

Career-wise I'm doing fairly well. I know enough about how the world works, and I have skills, and I'm pretty well in control of that part of my life. If I were to lose my job, I am confident I could get another one, perhaps even a better one. I choose where I want to work. I am not at the mercy of the whims of an employer.

But with women my life has been the opposite. I have been chosen a few times by women, but it has not had much to do with who I would prefer. In the past I would just get grumpy and complain that life is not fair. I would complain that the process of courtship is completely asymmetric, biased such that women have all the power. I never hated women but I hated the game.

Then I realized, yes it's asymmetric but it's not unfair -- it's possible for me to have the advantage. I just hated it because I'm no good at it. If I repeatedly have a spectacular losses when playing tennis or anything else, I won't want to play anymore. And by not playing, I don't get better. This has been my pattern for a long time.

So I decided to take lessons.

My objective is to get skilled so that I can be the one who chooses. I will choose a mate on my terms, rather than waiting for 'fate' or 'luck' to hand me one mediocre opportunity after another.

-Vector

[Slider]

Hey Vector. I responded to your email a while back. Did you get it?

Yeah, I have a very bad case of nice-guyitis, and it freaking blows. I have to put something down on paper, or in this case the net to get motivated. From the little I have read, it seems to me that people develop bad habits over the years from not being properly trained. Like any bad habit, it takes a LOT of committment to fix the problems.

I am at least trying to Neg, but am coming across as an a$$ hole instead of playfull. I will figure it out eventually, but need others to go work on this stuff with.

I had a case of one-istis a while back. I screwed it up and got over it pretty quick, but that deal sucks too.