Dallas PUA

I was in the mood for Korean food, so I call my friend up. I took her to Korea House in the Korean district in Dallas. It was awesome. I wasn't trying to impress, it's just something that I wanted to do. She was impresssed, however.

Then we go downtown. She wanted to dance. I didn't want to go to Deep Ellum, so I decided we would park and walk in the direction of House of Blues. There were a lot of people wearing beads, and some people were throwing them from the balcony from house of blues. I caught one for her.

We went inside House of Blues, but it really didn't seem like what we were looking for. So we started walking down Victory park. There were a lot of people there, and we held hands to stay together through the crowds. I knew the Ghostbar would be down a block or two, and it's a place I've been wanting to go.

We get there, and I tip the bouncer and cut through the line. Then we get on the elevator to the 33rd floor. It was really awesome. She loves to dance, so we did a lot of dancing and grinding. Pretty much all night. She was impressed, and at one point even said, "this is the best place I've ever been to."

The only thing is... I couldn't even turn around or go to the bar or the bathroom without a guy hitting on her.

I pretty much acted cool and did physical things when I found her talking to guys, which usually did the trick, as most guys would get intimidated. I really wasn't agressive, though. Just friendly.

There were some players there staring at us. They must have thought I was some AFC because they were out with their guy friends and I had a date. I could just tell by the cocky ass smirk on their faces.

First thing is, being that I had a date, I mostly had my guard down and wasn't trying too hard. Just didn't feel like I had to or that I should... perhaps it was a false sense of entitlement. Second thing is, I should have been trying to talk to other girls myself, but I just didn't feel like it... just wanted to relax, enjoy myself, and have a good time. I admit this is a bit lazy and perhaps it's something I need to work on.

There was this one black guy that really annoyed me. I come back from the bathroom, and they're talking. He said something, but I didn't really understand it. Then he stretches out his hand, and I slap it in a friendly way and shake it. I'm more observing what he does closely and see if I can learn from it than anything else. I was fine until that point. But then he goes, "Is this your cousin?"

Me: No
Him: Your sister?
Me: No

We're not even the same race, so it must not have been an honest question. Why was he asking this?

Him: Your girlfriend?
Me: uhhhh.. No

Ok now I realize I'm not in control and I get this really uneasy feeling.

Him: If you like her, you should go for it!

Now I was really annoyed. Then he asks for beads from her and she gives her one! Compliance test. I didn't like that too much. I felt very AFC at that point. Then he left and I started grinding with her. Then later he walks by and says, "Close the deal!!!"

It's funny now, but I found it highly annoying at the time.

Looking back, I can see at least one way I could have handled this. I just wasn't thinking in that frame at the time. I wasn't taking control of the situation.

Him: Is this your cousin?
Me: No, this is my date, but you can take her, she's too much trouble. (wait for response from both of them).
Me: Yeah, she whines all the time and I can't keep her from getting herself into trouble.... please... take her!

We went to those places because I wanted to go there, and I didn't want to go by myself. It wasn't cheap. I know she had an incredible night. I took her to my place. But now I'm wondering if I'm giving off the nice guy vibe. She talks a lot of relationship stuff about her ex, etc. I usually just listen and go, ok. Then she asks about my ex and I just give short answers. I hope she doesn't think I want a relationship. I really don't.

So what do you all think.

Hey MB

People who are in field a lot (PUAs and naturals) can observe and pretty accurately assess relationship dynamics - annoying player chode noticed her Buying Temperature and the interaction between you and your date, and called you on it. He only opened - a more practiced PUA might have gotten her # at best or completely blown you out at worst

Like PU in general, the best way to learn to combat this is to get into this situation regularly to practice at it (not always fun, and probably unneccessary as far as this particular girl anyway)

From what you described you have enough attraction and comfort to take the relationship where ever you want (including opening other girls while you're together) - "friends with benefits" - let her know what you're looking for and don't see her very frequently (weekly or less according to Magic Bullets and some other mPUAs) and you're good to go. Sometimes we go through familiar patterns and processes to make ourselves comfortable. If you truly just want a fuck buddy, it may be that you need to get yourself into a different frame of mind

Sounds like a fun night, great day 2 report

Yeah i think you are right on. I think she would be open to meeting other people together... At least on her end - i haven't really tested to see how she would react. It's one of the reasons i played it cool. But at the same time i didn't want to look like a chump and have people think they could just cut in on my action. And yeah though i felt afc, i'm making progress in the sense that a year ago i would either have fallen for this girl or not gone out with her since she's not a natural bond. I am trying new situations so that i can learn from those experiences, as you said.