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Being Hit On...

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:58 am
by playercool
Alright need advice on this.

If a girl opens you and basically hits on you should your game change? The reason I ask is because I don't change my game. And just tonight it seemed to backfire on me when the girl hit on me.

I am wondering if I should change the game up and start complimenting her and such if she is hitting on me. For example the girl asks how tall I am. I say I am 9 feet tall or something crazy shit like that. She of course says nah so I say fine I am 6 feet tall. She says yah I like tall guys. So I say how SHORT ARE YOU? She is freaking tall and has heels on so she is damn near my height. This makes her go crazy and she leans over to her friend saying can you believe he asked how short I was. Now either she was drunk or this single question seemed to blow the entire set. I gave her some more shit and bam the set was over.

What would you have done?

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:16 am
by El Fenix
Negs and the like are designed to drop the "bitch shield" and create attraction. You already had a lot of that. Despite how girls look on the outside, it takes a quite a bit of courage (or booze) for a girl to do what she did. She was at step 2. You went back to step 1.
You could have started isolating, escalating physically, and building comfort, since she was clearly quite attracted to you.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:33 am
by Smirks
Kino and flirting. I got this little quote from Juggler tonight (nothing to do at work, so I downloaded a bunch of stuffs!)

"Flirting is the exact opposite of Sarcasm"

Kinda obvious, but I never realized it. I'm a very sarcastic/dry humor kinda guy normally...and I can see what I viewed as flirting probably didn't come off that way to *insert random HB here*.

Ask her qualifying questions...make her feel the need to impress you.

Re: Being Hit On...

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:14 am
by Westfall
playercool wrote:Alright need advice on this.

If a girl opens you and basically hits on you should your game change? The reason I ask is because I don't change my game. And just tonight it seemed to backfire on me when the girl hit on me.

I am wondering if I should change the game up and start complimenting her and such if she is hitting on me. For example the girl asks how tall I am. I say I am 9 feet tall or something crazy shit like that. She of course says nah so I say fine I am 6 feet tall. She says yah I like tall guys. So I say how SHORT ARE YOU? She is freaking tall and has heels on so she is damn near my height. This makes her go crazy and she leans over to her friend saying can you believe he asked how short I was. Now either she was drunk or this single question seemed to blow the entire set. I gave her some more shit and bam the set was over.

What would you have done?


She showed interest and you were mean to her. Wtf? Don't punish good behavior. Imagine a guy going up to a hot girl and showing interest, then having her slam him.

AFC: I like girls with good fashion sense
Girl: Where did you get that shirt, Target's clereance rack?

Things you could have done:

WF: Yeah, I'm kinda tall, but on tuesdays I'm only 5-4. It's weird...I can't explain it.

Here you are agreeing and disqualifying...

WF: Most girls do...., then qualify her.

Either disqualify yourself, or qualify her. either works.

WF

Re: Being Hit On...

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:56 am
by Finesse
Westfall wrote:
Either disqualify yourself, or qualify her. either works.

WF


I agree with WF.

Disqualify (Calibrated of course) then qualify.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 10:29 am
by Alphagame
Here's the potential pitfall with that: Suppose she's trying to make her boyfriend across the bar jealous? She could be using you even though she has no attraction to you!

If you open up and start complying with her false IOI's, she'll just think you're a low value guy.

Honestly, I don't think "How short are you?" should have gotten you blown out of the set if you said it jokingly.

Often times, we are saying the right things but the delivery or tone is off. I've done that a lot. Actually, this is where alcohol actually helps improve my game. If I'm sober, I'm generally more uptight and more inclined to come off as arrogant or stuck up (although, I must admit, I've already come along way towards improvement in this area).

My guess is, you weren't smiling enough and flirting enough when you delivered the line "How short are you?" It's a VERY easy mistake to make.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:52 am
by Vector
I would say you should be rewarding the girl and qualifying. I have to agree with Alphagame, it's probably in your nonverbals. Rewards can come in the form of fun teasing. You can say whatever, but keep it positive with tonality and body language. Girls are usually not persistent enough to get through the male equivalent of a "bitch shield".

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:56 am
by Finesse
Vector wrote: Girls are usually not persistent enough to get through the male equivalent of a "bitch shield".


Which raises the question. Would a high value male be that way too?

Discuss.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:05 pm
by Westfall
Finesse wrote:
Vector wrote: Girls are usually not persistent enough to get through the male equivalent of a "bitch shield".


Which raises the question. Would a high value male be that way too?

Discuss.


He wouldnt have to...a hott girl is approached by endless douchebag guys...so the bitch shield develops....

a hott guy doesnt get approached by douchey girls as much (girls approach less), as such he doesn't have to develop a bitch shield. IMO

PostPosted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 12:05 pm
by Twitchy
I watched Rock of Love 2 the other day (guilty pleasure). There were a lot of hot girls on it this time compared to the original show.

One of the hottest, I don't remember her name but a stunning brunette (and a germ-a-phobe), choked in the initial meet and greet with Brett.

She told the camera that she usually is the one getting approached and has no idea on how to go up and talk to a guy. She barely spoke to Brett while all of the other, not as hot, girls were all over Brett.

So, just like men, women can have approach anxiety, or at least feel awkward approaching. When they do come and hit on you, and this will happen more and more as you become more and more confident, make sure you reward them - as you would want them to reward you when you approach them.

A couple of days ago I was asked out by this stripper who also operates a sex based web cam. She sent me a text "I want to see you. Let me know if you maybe would like to go out sometime for dinner or drinks or something. If you don't want to, its OK". If a guy sent something this wishy washy, he would be shot down for sure. I am of course going to reward her with that date for asking.... :D