Work-related pick-up

[Fuzz]

Anybody have any general advice on this? I've only been able to find this one thread which has excellent advice by Professor, as it relates very similarly to my situation. (Perhaps he'd like to expand more on the topic?)

A little background: I work for an export/import company and naturally deal with many other different companies, the one she works for being one of them, so I deal with her on a semi-regular basis. Basically, I've hung out with the girl a few times outside of work, I've gotten IOI's from her, neg her quite effectively, even have been seen around her with my FB. Have not # closed, but she has given me her personal e-mail without my asking (which means nothing to me).

Any pointers anyone would like to share?

[Smirks]

This topic has actually been brought up many times...in fact...I think my 1st post (well after my intro) on these forums dealt with this.

Normally, most of the guys here say, "Don't shit where you eat."....but your professional relation to her seems a bit more indirect. Sure you interact together professionally, but you also work for different companies...correct?

First off, I wouldn't do much....if anything...through email. Just like text messaging...you can get stuck in a text relationship. Which means your 1 probably won't make it in to her 0 (lol tech humor.)

I'd suggest maybe trying a "Hey...a bunch of my friends are going to *fun time location*, you should come." If you get any hesitation, you can throw an IOD and "bring a friend..it'll be fun." Trying to escalate anything while at work is a formula for bad.

[PicturePerfect]

I'm going to be honest.... I believe dont shit where you eat.. but if you don't plan to take a dump where your eating your cool.. Sounds simpler than it really is. Smirks will attest to this.. I've pulled the HR and the receptionist at my work but its complex and its really risky. If it is something you want to pursue. My advice is weight out your pro's and con's.

My theory is if you have to ask. Then do the opposite, with gray areas.

Vague I know.. but best advice is weight out your pro's and con's first. One thing after that weight out this.. Is there another girl out there?

[Fuzz]

Yeah, I'm a little worried about shitting where I eat, so I've decided to game her in a very passive way. Not trying much, let whatever happens happen. I'm still getting good IOI's. We hung out again outside of work, (big group of people so it doesn't mean too much) and she gave me her number without my asking.

[the dean]

you never want to let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. Never try to mess with a woman at work!

[Skinner]

Before I read this post today I was literally walking through the office , counting the wimmons that I've fooled around with. Don't get me wrong, it's not many. Frankly, I say to weigh your professional ambiitions against your PUA ambitions and procede cautiously. I also counted the wimmons in the office I haven't done yet that I'd like to, so we'll see if I follow my own advice.

(As always, free advice is worth exactly what you paid for it.)

Know your victim!

1. Is she bored and underworked, but frankly not ambitious enough to do anything about it?

You know this lady in the office. She speaks in terms of exactly what she does for a living as best she can understand it within the narrow confines of her own assigned tasks. She might say something like, "I can get you that report a week from Tuesday, but it won't include what you're really looking for...that's all I do". This may be the President's secretary, or some blue screen nose picker.

Find out HER interests and talk about it. She's just dying for somebody to know her as a person and not just a square on an org chart. She'll wonder why you're taking such an interest and may clam up quickly. Expect very early ASD and plan accordingly. She probably has a quirky hobby or interest, such as hanging out at the leather bar or collecting commemorative plates. Let her be whomever she wants to be. If she wants to be a superhero, then she's a superhero. She's looking for permission to step outside the boundaries of the time clock and TPS reports. Give her permission to go there, but just between you two and not everybody in her department. Let her live out that fantasy with you.



2. Is she a corporate lifer who's a "company man" and defines herself by her job title?

Her job title and her responsibility level is what she values most. She's worked hard to establish a professional reputation, and won't do a damn thing to jeopardize it. She won't be seen talking to you in the office for more than 30 seconds - especially if you're already the office man whore.

Tell her she seems really tense, and she needs to relax. Ask about the best project she ever worked on, whether or not it was ever implemented. You'll see her relax, smile, then probably sigh. Anchor her right there.

Give her a suggestion for stress release, like a 60 second meditation or some stupid human cube trick. Next time she sees you she'll feel more relaxed, and have a pleasant association with you. Then just look for your next opportunity to DHV at a dept. happy hour, working late on a project, or hopefully a conference out of town. (Does that sound too wimpy?)


3. Is she a MILF and doesn't mind getting out of the house, because frankly an office job is less work than the day-to-day grind of being a mom?

Can you say "nooner"? Offer her a journey into your world so she can escape everything else. Tell her about the last vacation you took, how your gay friend is attracted to a lesbian, or how you were frisked by the Secret Service because you got too close to President W. She really needs adventure, so let her live it through you.


4. Does she consider herself above the corporate values bullshit that's posted on the break room wall, but she still needs a paycheck?

This chica is probably the hardest nut to crack. She walks around all day with an invisible cloak of invinsibility against evil corporate bullshit and frankly, you're just another square AFC occupying the good cube near the window. She probably wears clothes not exactly appropriate for the office. The hardest part will be agreeing with her without increasing her cynical force field to full strength.

Give her an example of how you worked behind the scenes to accomplish something in spite of the official company Six Sigma or TCO processes. But don't brag about it like Bill Clinton at a Camp David retreat. Be aloof. Tell her a new restaurant just opened down the street featuring an Ethiopian/Brazilian/Eskimo cuisine and since she owes you lunch, it's her treat. If she doesn't remember owing you a lunch, just pull out a chick line and tell "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you".

OK, my long boring conference call is about to end, so let me see if I can apply these concepts into good practice. Wish me luck.

[Fuzz]

2. Is she a corporate lifer who's a "company man" and defines herself by her job title?

This type defines her the most accurately.

Anyway....I should probably put this in the FR section, but fuck it.

Last night I went out for nice little get together at the house of one of her co-workers. Once again it was a group thing, and a lot of people in the group were work related friends. Even if most of them weren't people I deal with on a regular basis, they are people I have to deal with every now and again.

Anyway, we're hanging out watching a movie -- MISTAKE #1. No oppurtunity to really talk to her, which makes it difficult to isolate.

She was sitting next to me, and not because of any manuvering on my part. She positioned herself in that seat (IOI). Unfortunately it was on a seperate counch -- MISTAKE #2.

Still we had a good interaction (albiet limited). My attitude has been to passively game her and so far I haven't lost my frame in which she's maybe trying to qualify herself to me at least a little bit. I can push the right buttons when the oppurtunity arises.

But then the group started on a conversation about some very specific work related shit that I didn't know anything about. MISTAKE #3. I really couldn't get into the conversation and there were two other people in the group who clearly had control of it (one was female.) This is a total DLV, but I sat back and tried to keep cool.

Finally, we went down stairs and it was me, the girl, and the ultimate CockBlocker ever.

(Now, I can tell CB has had a thing for this girl, and one time when we were drunk together he said some things that led me to believe that this girl was into me. Perhaps it was just my imagination. But also that night, he made me call her becase she wasn't answering his phone calls. She picked up immedeatly for me. What does all this mean? Who knows! But the fact that he's jealous is certainly encouraging.)

CB, the girl, and I are walking to our cars, and he makes sure to walk with us even though she and I are coincidentally (and it really was a coincidence) walking in the same direction, and he is not. I get to my car first, so I say goodbye, only I was too far away to properly give her a hug and kiss goodby so I didn't -- MISTAKE #4. I felt it would've been awkward, but looking back, I could've done it in a way in which it wouldn't have been, and plus it would have demonstrated to this CB that I was still on top.

She invited me to some other get together on Friday, but I declined. I save my weekends for girls I am gaming for real, and not passively like this. Nevertheless she invites me to something else next week, and I say maybe.

As I drive away, he's standing outside of her car and they're talking. Clearly he won this round. But there were so many things I could've done in my favor. I could've taken advantage of his jealousy, made it seem more obvious to her. I could've been like "here, you take her" in a sarcastic way that demonstrates non-neediness while at the same time DLVs the CB. Just making it obvious to her that CB is into her would've been enough to blow him out of the water (provided I did it right). More importantly there was a very good oppurtunity to isolate and I passed on it. He didn't -- MISTAKE #5, 6, 7, and 8.

FUCK!

Basically what I've learned is, I can't halfass this shit. There is no such thing as passively gaming a girl. I have to make my decision to either go after her full-throttle and step things up, or forget about her. And it's a tough decision because of the whole work issue.

[Twitchy]

Don't beat yourself up over this. This one is what I call a "slow burn" target. She has given you several IOIs so just be flirty and somewhat aloof and let her "win" you over over time.

Just because CB followed her to her car and you didn't doesn't mean that he won. It very well could play in your favor.

He is being needy. You are not. Just like with any commodity, those things that are rare or hard to find are worth more.

Make your time precious and she will respect and value you more. If you keep the attraction up and let her know there is a window of opportunity with you, she will chase you more and more.

[Skinner]

"A little background: I work for an export/import company."

Haha, I forgot to comment on this before. Do you work with George Castanza? Is your real name Art Vandelay?

Are you mostly in the import game, but hoping to expand into exports?

I love Seinfeld. I won a contest.

[Alphagame]

My rule: NEVER EVER meet women out with their friends. As you learned:

1.) Friends will cockblock.
2.) Friends will steer conversation in directions that you can't be a part of.
3.) When with friends, women will run premature tests on you that they would NEVER do if it were just you and her. For example, flirting with other men - the jealousy test. They'd never run this test with you on a real one on one date. But when her friends are around, she's ruthless.
4.) Depending on the environment, kino escalation can seem very awkward.

The problem you have now is, you need to escalate kino with this chick SOON or you're gonna find yourself in the friend zone. When she sat on a couch where kino was impossible, every minute you spent in conversation without kino is another minute closer to friendsville.

My new M.O. is this: In phone game, if I sense there will be no way to get her on a real date, in other words, just her and me, and if the friends have to come along...I never invite her to bring her friends either...but if she shows up with friends, I'm gonna be really polite but I'll be taking off shortly after they arrive. She'll be left wondering what she did wrong. She'll ask, "Why are you leaving so soon?" Then I'll just gaze into her eyes and tell her "I told you I'm selfish and I want you all to myself. Maybe next time it'll work out that way. As for now, I gotta get going. Have fun with your friends."

My rule is, until I've fucker her at least 3 times, I won't agree to meet her and her friends.