Dallas PUA

This weekend marked my very first night out after finding the community. My biggest sticking points are opening and attraction phase. I don't have much trouble building rapport and confort. I'm one of those people that can make new friends easily but gets LJBF'd a lot. LJBF is the story of my life and the reason i found the community in the first place. So I went out with the intent of tackling both issues at once.

This sat night my band performed for the first time.
I play a Brazilian version of the ukelele guitar called cavaco. It's the lead instrument in samba, the most popular style of music in Brazil (i'm Brazilian btw if you can't tell yet). Basically this means I can show up to any Brazilian party and rock it out.

As a result of my status as a musician and my difficulties with the attraction phase, I know a lot of HB's that like to dance samba and love to have me around but are not particularly interested in me. My plan of action is as follows: I'm going to use them as pivots while brushing up on my newfound skills to attract other HB's who don't know my old AFC self. While doing this, the pivots will most likely get more attracted to me seeing how i've changed.

My first night out went pretty well. I opened a few sets but struggled to stay in them for long (I think i was trying to attract a little too early)
FR: "First Report - Opinions Welcome"

Theres another Brazilian in the community? Sounds like your making good progress. Hit me up so we can go sargin and dance um sambinha.

Dude,

You play lead! If you play, the chicks will come! (Pun intended). I don't know what kind of chicks that type of music draws (Latinas? OMG!!), but trust me.

Being a musician playing onstage is a major DHV. Chicks get into that. Between sets (music) go talk to people. Not just hot chicks. By being friendly, you'll establish a good fan base who'll follow you to gigs. This will give you more social proof.

Playing lead in a band is so money, dude. I've been there.

It's difficult to be in a gigging band and NOT get laid! Give it time and keep playing gigs. If lots of girls are giving you the LJBF line, then you're just not escalating enough. Escalate more and get out of comfort.

Where do you play?

Check_Mate wrote:My plan of action is as follows: I'm going to use them as pivots while brushing up on my newfound skills to attract other HB's who don't know my old AFC self. While doing this, the pivots will most likely get more attracted to me seeing how i've changed.

Right on! In fact, show them that you're in demand and you're a bit of a player without saying as much. I don't think you have to use as many stories as I do, because as someone already remarked - lead musician is a HUGE DHV and many women know intuitively that getting laid is easier for you than many others.

My experience in a recent situation like this was that the more things emerged in conversations that showed her I'm with a lot of women, the more she was into me. Using some things dropped in stories and a few comments about women in my life I did everything, but say "I'm fucking a lot of different women. We have emotional connections but we're not bf/gf. And I want to keep this lifestyle."

One note is that even though she was a pivot in the sense that she made sets really easy to open, I didn't ask her to pull for me or mention any such thing. We just went out together, talked to some people, and I jokingly pointed out which ones I could take home with the least effort. That's when she really got more receptive to heavy kino and I don't think she was even aware of that. She started using "comfort" words about me and reciprocating my kino.

My warning is that at my place I got more LMR than ever and it was all about switching categories (which is a surprising thing to hear right after she says "Just fuck me now!") and I didn't close all night. She just needed some sleep to change her mind and remind me of what she said the night before. Just recognize that there's one more hurdle to deal with in your strategy if you're alrady in one category. That could just mean that it takes you more time, but you might be able to find some specific tactics that are more efficient.

JohnnyBravo wrote:
Where do you play?

I don't really have an answer to that. We've had our band for a while but we were never really serious until now. This was our first real gig so we don't have a definite spot yet.
The restaurant is called "Brasil Brasileiro". Located on Arapaho Rd two blocks west of Hwy 75.
Most of the Brazilian crowd in The Metroplex live in Plano or around the DFW airport (Bedford/Euless/Irving area). So that's probably where we're gonna be.

TheScientist wrote:My experience in a recent situation like this was that the more things emerged in conversations that showed her I'm with a lot of women, the more she was into me.

Funny thing you said that because last sat night one of the HBs in my FR: "First Report - Opinions Welcome" needed something to tie her hair with and knowing that I was by myself asked me if I had anything in the car "from a girlfriend or sister" that she could use. I told her I had one of those rubber bands in my car's shift (stick, whatever) that some girl had left there but recently threw it away. It sounded better than "no, I don't have a girlfriend...or sister" lol