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Clingy

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 5:59 pm
by realdice
Girl is way too clingy. She holds my hand if we walk anywhere which makes me feel like were a couple. I've told her that I don't want a girlfriend I just want someone I can have fun with. Any easy way to handle this?

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:27 pm
by MagicBalls
That die is making me dizzy. I keep staring at it.... it's going round and round and round... and....

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:27 pm
by 101998
Makes me feel like we are a couple


That’s your issue man, not her’s. If you have been clear and open about not wanting a exclusive relationship and she is cool with that, holding hands is no big deal. Most women love holding hands, it is just their thing, it does not “mean” anything. Get over it.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 7:38 pm
by Neuromancer
Look at it as pre-selection and therefore a DHV.

PostPosted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 8:50 pm
by realdice
I didn't think about it like that...I guess I should use it as an advantage.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 3:10 am
by zine
I hate holding hands it makes me feel like the kids I used to make fun of. What I do is take her hand stroke in between her fingers a bit just to make her happy, and put her arm around my back. This makes me feel better. Holding her hands makes mine all sweaty and shit. It bothers me, but around my back=no sweat, and it seems a little less boyfriend girlfriendish.

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 7:22 am
by Rhody
She wants to hold your hand because she wants kino with you, not because she's telling all the other women that you're her AFC slave boy.

If I'm holding hands with a girl and walking, I'll suddenly pull her in a different direction. Every once in a while, I want to make it clear that I'm leading her. It usually elicits a giggle out of the girl too. They like to be lead.

Re: Clingy

PostPosted: Fri Sep 07, 2007 4:11 pm
by Vector
realdice wrote:Girl is way too clingy. She holds my hand if we walk anywhere which makes me feel like were a couple. I've told her that I don't want a girlfriend I just want someone I can have fun with.


Be careful with this. Be aware of the non-verbal signals you send in addition to the verbal ones. I have to periodically remind girls that we're not serious, because I think I tend to give off boyfriend signals non-verbally. Holding hands is potentially one of those things.

You don't want to get into one of these conversations:
You: I told you we were not exclusive and not serious
Her: But I thought you changed your mind
You: What made you think I changed my mind? Did I say I changed my mind?
Her: I don't know, I just thought you did.

Even if you are 100% "right" logically she may get mad or get hurt and she may not want to be friends anymore. I want all my girls to remain friends even if I stop seeing them.

I tell girls that I have some habits that cause me to give off a boyfriend vibe, but that they should not be fooled by them. I make it clear that we're non-exclusive and not serious. They get a little confused because I do give off boyfriend signals nonverbally, but I remind them frequently and firmly and so far they have not misinterpreted where I'm coming from.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 3:21 am
by Thaddeus
I dont mind holding hands for little bursts but not over a very long period of time. She wants to touch you so you feel real to her, its creates a stronger emtional justification that your there with her. She wants this proof in her mind... that she's the one with you not the other girls. I'll link arms with the girl for a bit and then make a random stop and let her walk past, then yank her back gently. Once shes back to you let her go and walk on with out touching for a bit. Shes still got the feeling of togetherness shes looking for and youve got the freedom you wanted.

PostPosted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 1:26 pm
by NobodyUKnow
Look, you've been vocal and honest about what you want from the non relationship. If she reads too much from unspoken things, that's her responsibility, not yours.

If you truly don't like holding hands, then don't do it. Otherwise, let her enjoy herself if it's no skin off your teeth.