Dallas PUA

Hi Guys,
Long time, no post...no see either. I moved from Texas and I'm now in Tennessee. My wife and I just had our first child together. Things are going good.
I just wanted to drop by and say a few things.

First, I know that single life can be hard. It sucks most of the time. Girls seem like they have their guard up. So you figure its you....you're not peacocking enough, you're not saying the right lines or you're not being an asshole.
In fact, the truth is that you should really not change your personality too much. Its your personality so it will snap back as soon as you stop 'acting'.

There is no real reason to be an asshole. No women don't go for the tough guys any more than they go for any other type.
The one thing that tough guys seem to illicit is that sexual tension. If you don't know what that is, its a kind of unspoken attraction between people. There are articles written on it, so its worth reading about.
You just need to be aware of it. In comedy, they call it 'timing'. The audience doesn't laugh at your jokes if they don't have a natural ebb and flow.

The other thing pickup will show you (hopefully) is to not worry so much about dates, girls, if you need a breath mint before you kiss her....things like that.
Pickup gives you new crap to worry about...which is hilarious to me. You can cut out about 99% of that stuff too and do fine.

Guys, looks matter. I've said this for years now and everyone seems to want to pick a fight with me when I say it. I guess the truth hurts?
Anyway, its time to stop ignoring the big elephant and just be at peace with the fact that women like guys who look good.
Alot of that is dressing up and not looking like a douche bag. If you dress up like a PUA, they will think you're a PUA.
So look your best.

Money matters too. Sorry. We can't skip the fact that you need to have resources. Any of you who have sisters, think about how you felt when your sister brought home a loser.
Don't be that guy!

Like I said, its hard to change your core personality. You tend to snap back into it over time. So just go with that.

Screening women.
No one....I mean nobody in the PUA community talks about screening girls. The only ones are Doc Love, maybe the old How to Succeed With Women, book.
I would put higher importance on this. If you see a happy guy, its because his wife/gf is happy.

I can't tell you what makes a good woman for you. But I would look for qualities in personality.
One thing I did was the following....
Think of women that you like or admire. Think of the personality traits that you like. Look at cultural traits too. Even racial traits without being too extreme. It also gets into values.
Let's say you know a woman who works with you who has a heart of gold. She is Vietnamese and is a hard working single mom. The problem is that she is 50 and you're 30.
So think about it...could there be a younger, prettier version of that woman? Chances are that they are out there.
Form there, you have some idea of the kind of girl you may want to meet. I say 'may' because its a process of trial and error.
Then I would build a kind of ideal prototype from that. I know its easy to get blinded by womens' looks. And I do love a cute girl. But personality is more important long term.

Dating > Sarging.
If someone asked me if I would rather go on a date with a random girl or spend the night drinking and approaching women in a bar....I would choose the date.

Sarging is overrated. It mostly involves drinking, waiting, and then summoning the the courage to approach. Then how many of those end in an actual contact?
The common wisdom in the PUA community was that going for phone #s is out dated. Well that's crap too.
You need to be more like an internet marketer and take every opportunity to make contacts. Even if its just a facebook contact or a business contact.

Back to dating. Even though we don't call it dating, we meet or hangout with people. If you haven't had a date in a while, I would make that a goal. For you stud approach masters who go out every weekend, if you don't spend any time on dates or getting laid, what good is it? Yeah, you can get a ONS or SNL every once in a while. But hey, miracles do happen. If it works for you, then its fine.

Dating, hanging out, day2's, etc. is where it all happens. Get good at that and you'll get good with girls.

I did a thing for a while where I would go on internet dates with anyone who would have me. Sometimes this meant going out with those unattractive fat girls. But not all of them were hideous. The theory was that even unattractive women have similar personalities to attractive ones.
And I learned alot from that experience. I think the sarging guys thought I had gone hermit or was on a hiatus.
Well, at that point I did not care because the sarging thing just wasn't working that good. It was a low return investment activity. Maybe 3% at best.
When I would go on those internet dates, I called it "Operation Hog trough". And one of the rules of operation hog trough was that as you progress, you can trade up to better looking girls as time goes on.
But internet dating sucks. I'll give you that. You could try this with speed dating too.
I used a program that automatically emailed hundreds of ladies the same message. There are similar apps out there but this one would collect screen names and paste them into messages. All you had to do then was hit send. And wait.

Those were the days.

The other thing that seems to be prevalent in the community is a weird sexual idealization of women. As if all your dreams suddenly come true from having sex with a good looking girl.
Don't make an Idol of this.
I know it becomes a contest, but life has so many other things to offer. And its not all about sex.

Most of the guys who do this sort of thing are virgins. I've also been saying for years ...its ok to go to a prostitute.
Just don't make it your only outlet. Its not shameful to do it either. I did it and I have no complaints about doing it. Its much cheaper than any bootcamp. It is legal in certain places. Just keep it in mind if you're in a dry spell rut.
Take a trip to Las Vegas some time. Its great. Oahu also has a red light district.

Travel.
Girls in other countries are not like American women or Dallasites. Take a trip to Europe or to Asia and you will find really sweet girls. And they like American guys too. Don't let us down.
One of the most awesome things I did was to go to a hotel in Manila, Philippines and just set up and go on dates. It was like doing interviews.
The good thing was that I got laid. Alot.
If you have enough for the plane ride over, I highly recommend this. It will also give you a perspective on how small the world of Dallas Fort Worth is in comparison to the rest of the world.

If you're single and can think outside the box, there are lots of ways to get experience in dating and meeting women.

Tribulus

Tribulus1000 wrote:Hi Guys,
Long time, no post...no see either. I moved from Texas and I'm now in Tennessee. My wife and I just had our first child together. Things are going good.
I just wanted to drop by and say a few things.

First, I know that single life can be hard. It sucks most of the time. Girls seem like they have their guard up. So you figure its you....you're not peacocking enough, you're not saying the right lines or you're not being an asshole.
In fact, the truth is that you should really not change your personality too much. Its your personality so it will snap back as soon as you stop 'acting'.

There is no real reason to be an asshole. No women don't go for the tough guys any more than they go for any other type.
The one thing that tough guys seem to illicit is that sexual tension. If you don't know what that is, its a kind of unspoken attraction between people. There are articles written on it, so its worth reading about.
You just need to be aware of it. In comedy, they call it 'timing'. The audience doesn't laugh at your jokes if they don't have a natural ebb and flow.

The other thing pickup will show you (hopefully) is to not worry so much about dates, girls, if you need a breath mint before you kiss her....things like that.
Pickup gives you new crap to worry about...which is hilarious to me. You can cut out about 99% of that stuff too and do fine.

Guys, looks matter. I've said this for years now and everyone seems to want to pick a fight with me when I say it. I guess the truth hurts?
Anyway, its time to stop ignoring the big elephant and just be at peace with the fact that women like guys who look good.
Alot of that is dressing up and not looking like a douche bag. If you dress up like a PUA, they will think you're a PUA.
So look your best.

Money matters too. Sorry. We can't skip the fact that you need to have resources. Any of you who have sisters, think about how you felt when your sister brought home a loser.
Don't be that guy!

Like I said, its hard to change your core personality. You tend to snap back into it over time. So just go with that.

Screening women.
No one....I mean nobody in the PUA community talks about screening girls. The only ones are Doc Love, maybe the old How to Succeed With Women, book.
I would put higher importance on this. If you see a happy guy, its because his wife/gf is happy.

I can't tell you what makes a good woman for you. But I would look for qualities in personality.
One thing I did was the following....
Think of women that you like or admire. Think of the personality traits that you like. Look at cultural traits too. Even racial traits without being too extreme. It also gets into values.
Let's say you know a woman who works with you who has a heart of gold. She is Vietnamese and is a hard working single mom. The problem is that she is 50 and you're 30.
So think about it...could there be a younger, prettier version of that woman? Chances are that they are out there.
Form there, you have some idea of the kind of girl you may want to meet. I say 'may' because its a process of trial and error.
Then I would build a kind of ideal prototype from that. I know its easy to get blinded by womens' looks. And I do love a cute girl. But personality is more important long term.

Dating > Sarging.
If someone asked me if I would rather go on a date with a random girl or spend the night drinking and approaching women in a bar....I would choose the date.

Sarging is overrated. It mostly involves drinking, waiting, and then summoning the the courage to approach. Then how many of those end in an actual contact?
The common wisdom in the PUA community was that going for phone #s is out dated. Well that's crap too.
You need to be more like an internet marketer and take every opportunity to make contacts. Even if its just a facebook contact or a business contact.

Back to dating. Even though we don't call it dating, we meet or hangout with people. If you haven't had a date in a while, I would make that a goal. For you stud approach masters who go out every weekend, if you don't spend any time on dates or getting laid, what good is it? Yeah, you can get a ONS or SNL every once in a while. But hey, miracles do happen. If it works for you, then its fine.

Dating, hanging out, day2's, etc. is where it all happens. Get good at that and you'll get good with girls.

I did a thing for a while where I would go on internet dates with anyone who would have me. Sometimes this meant going out with those unattractive fat girls. But not all of them were hideous. The theory was that even unattractive women have similar personalities to attractive ones.
And I learned alot from that experience. I think the sarging guys thought I had gone hermit or was on a hiatus.
Well, at that point I did not care because the sarging thing just wasn't working that good. It was a low return investment activity. Maybe 3% at best.
When I would go on those internet dates, I called it "Operation Hog trough". And one of the rules of operation hog trough was that as you progress, you can trade up to better looking girls as time goes on.
But internet dating sucks. I'll give you that. You could try this with speed dating too.
I used a program that automatically emailed hundreds of ladies the same message. There are similar apps out there but this one would collect screen names and paste them into messages. All you had to do then was hit send. And wait.

Those were the days.

The other thing that seems to be prevalent in the community is a weird sexual idealization of women. As if all your dreams suddenly come true from having sex with a good looking girl.
Don't make an Idol of this.
I know it becomes a contest, but life has so many other things to offer. And its not all about sex.

Most of the guys who do this sort of thing are virgins. I've also been saying for years ...its ok to go to a prostitute.
Just don't make it your only outlet. Its not shameful to do it either. I did it and I have no complaints about doing it. Its much cheaper than any bootcamp. It is legal in certain places. Just keep it in mind if you're in a dry spell rut.
Take a trip to Las Vegas some time. Its great. Oahu also has a red light district.

Travel.
Girls in other countries are not like American women or Dallasites. Take a trip to Europe or to Asia and you will find really sweet girls. And they like American guys too. Don't let us down.
One of the most awesome things I did was to go to a hotel in Manila, Philippines and just set up and go on dates. It was like doing interviews.
The good thing was that I got laid. Alot.
If you have enough for the plane ride over, I highly recommend this. It will also give you a perspective on how small the world of Dallas Fort Worth is in comparison to the rest of the world.

If you're single and can think outside the box, there are lots of ways to get experience in dating and meeting women.

Tribulus

i am waiting for your newest post coming soon....

Sup Tribulus.. Let me weigh in on your post.

First of all, congratulations on getting married! And on the child! That's amazing and I'm excited for you and the life you two are going to build together.

---

First, I know that single life can be hard. It sucks most of the time.

I would agree that the underlying motivation for most men to hop onto this forum and admit they have a problem is that their single life sucks. They want more women, more confidence, and some kind of consistency in the romantic/sexual area of their lives. But, they not only don't know how to make any of that happen, but they also have no idea where to start.

What makes single life even harder for most guys is the massive amount of expectations that are advertised to us through commercials, movies, and messages from others.

We are 'supposed' to be strong, decisive, and having sex all the time.
We are 'supposed' to be emotionally stable and immune to sadness, fear, and anxiety.
We are 'supposed' to be both nice and an asshole.

Girls seem like they have their guard up. So you figure its you....you're not peacocking enough, you're not saying the right lines or you're not being an asshole.

In fact, the truth is that you should really not change your personality too much. Its your personality so it will snap back as soon as you stop 'acting'.

Something I learned at the Direct Dating Summit:

The reason diets fail is because people temporarily change their behavior (what they eat, how they exercise) in order to achieve the result, and then revert back to normal.
Similarly, the reason guys fail with women is because they temporarily change their behavior (what they say, how they act) in order to achieve the result, and then revert back to normal.

That being said, I hate hate hate the advice from gurus and girls of 'just be yourself.' Look, there is definitely something to be said about authenticity, but the reason a guru can 'be himself' and get success is that he has gone through years of failures & experiences, so now he has developed an intuition and skill with women where he can flow and get success without much effort.

For guys who are starting out, you have to make changes. If you keep doing the same things over and over, you will keep getting the same results. So, the whole point of Pick Up literature and these forums are to help you change your behavior in the direction of progress!

Your current personality is what's limiting you. When you can loosen your grip on 'who you think you are,' you can expand 'who you are meant to be!'

There is no real reason to be an asshole. No women don't go for the tough guys any more than they go for any other type.

I disagree. Being an asshole is just as viable a Pick Up strategy as being a nice guy. There is no one size fits all solution for all the men out there for how to be good with women. There is no objectively 'perfect' strategy.

The flip side of the industry's marketing notion of FOOLPROOF, BULLETPROOF STRATEGY TO PICK UP ANY GIRL ANY TIME EVEN IF YOU'RE OLD FAT POOR BALD UGLY AND A SEX CONVICT is that every man is uniquely attractive. Inside of every man is a sexual urge. A force of nature. When guys can tap back into that primal energy, then sometimes it will come out as being an asshole to the girl and other times it will come out as being nice.

When you prioritize yourself over anybody else, then it's not so much about the best strategy to get the girl, it's about being try to yourself and your identity.

The one thing that tough guys seem to illicit is that sexual tension. If you don't know what that is, its a kind of unspoken attraction between people. There are articles written on it, so its worth reading about.
You just need to be aware of it. In comedy, they call it 'timing'. The audience doesn't laugh at your jokes if they don't have a natural ebb and flow.

Sexual tension happens in 3 ways:
1) When you juxtapose neutral conversation with physical touch and escalation.
2) When you juxtapose sexual conversation with neutral physical spacing.
3) When you alternate being being 'hot' and 'cold.' (i.e. what's called push/pull in the industry)

The reason why assholes/tough guys illicit sexual tension is because they are focused on themselves and not the girl. Because of this shift in focus, they create a variety of emotions in the girls they are with. More than anything, they possess the 'willingness to emote' DHV. Thus, something a girl says can turn them on or turn them off. The bottom line is that if a tough, confident guy gets offended, he isn't going to act happy in order to get laid, he's going to stay true to himself!

The other thing pickup will show you (hopefully) is to not worry so much about dates, girls, if you need a breath mint before you kiss her....things like that.
Pickup gives you new crap to worry about...which is hilarious to me. You can cut out about 99% of that stuff too and do fine.

Actually, I find the opposite tends to be true for guys starting out. Because there is so much to learn, many guys get overwhelmed by just how much there is to worry about. Before, they didn't even know tonality, fashion, body language, and all these different things, mattered or that there were even ways to do these things better. So, the overwhelm can cause 'paralysis by analysis.'

I think you assume that because you can cut out 99% of this stuff and do fine that that is a solution for other guys, much like the 'be yourself' problem I pointed out earlier.

Guys, looks matter. I've said this for years now and everyone seems to want to pick a fight with me when I say it. I guess the truth hurts?
Anyway, its time to stop ignoring the big elephant and just be at peace with the fact that women like guys who look good.
Alot of that is dressing up and not looking like a douche bag. If you dress up like a PUA, they will think you're a PUA.
So look your best.

Looks matter, but only to an extent. A guy with tight game and average looks can do way way better in life and love than a great looking guy with poor game.

Part of the reason for that is the man with tight game will have CHOICE and POWER. Whereas the great looking guy will have to settle for the girls that approach him or are into him, the guy with game can go anywhere in the world, connect with a woman HE'S attracted to, and have amazing sex.

The way I've seen it work in my clients is that, if you have good looks you can get away with a lot more physical escalation and a lot more fuck ups. If you aren't so good looking, then you have less buffer for mistakes and awkwardness.

Wearing nice clothes can help, but only if it's congruent with who you are. If you're poor but have one nice suit and you wear that out to clubs in order to game women, then you might get some success but you are basically lying to these girls. You are presenting a false self.

A better strategy would be to meet girls at yoga studios, coffee shops, etc. and wear what's comfortable for you and more in line with your identity.


Money matters too. Sorry. We can't skip the fact that you need to have resources. Any of you who have sisters, think about how you felt when your sister brought home a loser.
Don't be that guy!

Again, money matters to an extent. If your goal is just to get laid, then money actually makes very very little difference.

Now, if you're looking for a wife or a girlfriend, then it might make things a lot more difficult.

Obviously, having money makes your overall lifestyle better, increases your happiness, and can make you more confident. There's science behind why having money is good for you.

But, in the world of Pick Up, you can meet a girl on the street, take her on a fro yo date, connect with her in a unique way, and fuck her that night. I have a whole dating template and a series of experiences that confirm you can spend $3 total before having amazing sex with a variety of women.


Like I said, its hard to change your core personality. You tend to snap back into it over time. So just go with that.

Screening women.
No one....I mean nobody in the PUA community talks about screening girls. The only ones are Doc Love, maybe the old How to Succeed With Women, book.
I would put higher importance on this. If you see a happy guy, its because his wife/gf is happy.

I can't tell you what makes a good woman for you. But I would look for qualities in personality.
One thing I did was the following....
Think of women that you like or admire. Think of the personality traits that you like. Look at cultural traits too. Even racial traits without being too extreme. It also gets into values.
Let's say you know a woman who works with you who has a heart of gold. She is Vietnamese and is a hard working single mom. The problem is that she is 50 and you're 30.
So think about it...could there be a younger, prettier version of that woman? Chances are that they are out there.
Form there, you have some idea of the kind of girl you may want to meet. I say 'may' because its a process of trial and error.
Then I would build a kind of ideal prototype from that. I know its easy to get blinded by womens' looks. And I do love a cute girl. But personality is more important long term.

You're saying a lot here, and I'd like to boil it down to screening and qualification.

The reason most PUA literature overlooks screening is because the 'gurus' are so disconnected from themselves and what they want. They are focusing on some 'one-size-fits-all' method to get women rather than what would actually make them, or their clients, happy.

In order to screen/qualify women, you have to know what you want, what you find attractive, and how women turn you on. Sure there are methods to help you effectively screen for what you're looking for, but if you don't know what you're looking for, then you won't know a good match when she's sitting right in front of you.

An important lesson that ties into this point is that pussy is the most abundant resource on the planet earth besides food and water. If one girl doesn't meet your standards, there are 3.5 BILLION other women out there! Chances are damn near guaranteed you will find someone better.

Dating > Sarging.
If someone asked me if I would rather go on a date with a random girl or spend the night drinking and approaching women in a bar....I would choose the date.

Sarging is overrated. It mostly involves drinking, waiting, and then summoning the the courage to approach. Then how many of those end in an actual contact?
The common wisdom in the PUA community was that going for phone #s is out dated. Well that's crap too.
You need to be more like an internet marketer and take every opportunity to make contacts. Even if its just a facebook contact or a business contact.

Very true. I hope this concept is obvious for everyone.

It would be like saying 'I would rather go to the batting cages than step up to the plate in a real game.'

Dating is where you will learn about both your real sticking points and what women are really all about. Through experience, you will develop your own sense of confidence and timing because you have personal experience rather than stories and lessons you've read in PUA books.

Dating might carry more risk of rejection because you are actually putting yourself on the line compared to your opening shtick when approaching in a bar.

But, dating has way more chance of you actually getting laid. Do you even know how rare it is for the above average guy to take a girl home after meeting her that same night?

If you're looking for sex, you need to get good at dating. Plain and simple. Prioritizing dates over sarging will save you an incomparable amount of time, energy, and frustration.

Back to dating. Even though we don't call it dating, we meet or hangout with people. If you haven't had a date in a while, I would make that a goal. For you stud approach masters who go out every weekend, if you don't spend any time on dates or getting laid, what good is it? Yeah, you can get a ONS or SNL every once in a while. But hey, miracles do happen. If it works for you, then its fine.

Dating, hanging out, day2's, etc. is where it all happens. Get good at that and you'll get good with girls.


AMEN!!

I did a thing for a while where I would go on internet dates with anyone who would have me. Sometimes this meant going out with those unattractive fat girls. But not all of them were hideous. The theory was that even unattractive women have similar personalities to attractive ones.
And I learned alot from that experience. I think the sarging guys thought I had gone hermit or was on a hiatus.
Well, at that point I did not care because the sarging thing just wasn't working that good. It was a low return investment activity. Maybe 3% at best.
When I would go on those internet dates, I called it "Operation Hog trough". And one of the rules of operation hog trough was that as you progress, you can trade up to better looking girls as time goes on.
But internet dating sucks. I'll give you that. You could try this with speed dating too.
I used a program that automatically emailed hundreds of ladies the same message. There are similar apps out there but this one would collect screen names and paste them into messages. All you had to do then was hit send. And wait.

Those were the days.

Epic.

More guys need to recognize that there is a slope of progress in this journey, and they need to emphasize getting experience with anyone that will give them the time, rather than jumping straight for the 10s.

The other thing that seems to be prevalent in the community is a weird sexual idealization of women. As if all your dreams suddenly come true from having sex with a good looking girl.
Don't make an Idol of this.
I know it becomes a contest, but life has so many other things to offer. And its not all about sex.

Most of the guys who do this sort of thing are virgins. I've also been saying for years ...its ok to go to a prostitute.
Just don't make it your only outlet. Its not shameful to do it either. I did it and I have no complaints about doing it. Its much cheaper than any bootcamp. It is legal in certain places. Just keep it in mind if you're in a dry spell rut.
Take a trip to Las Vegas some time. Its great. Oahu also has a red light district.

Brilliant.

Ya sex is great and it feels amazing, but this journey is definitely about so much more than just sex. Settling for a girl you hate or are not attracted to just because she's willing to put out is a recipe for self-hate and disaster.

Travel.
Girls in other countries are not like American women or Dallasites. Take a trip to Europe or to Asia and you will find really sweet girls. And they like American guys too. Don't let us down.
One of the most awesome things I did was to go to a hotel in Manila, Philippines and just set up and go on dates. It was like doing interviews.
The good thing was that I got laid. Alot.
If you have enough for the plane ride over, I highly recommend this. It will also give you a perspective on how small the world of Dallas Fort Worth is in comparison to the rest of the world.

Awesome advice!

I actually traded my coupe Mustang for a 2007 Honda Odyssey, put a mattress in the back seat, and now I can drive all over North America, meet women, and have awesome sex wherever I end up!

I would say the idea of travel falls under the umbrella of advice that says: "Go out and live life!" Go experience new things. Push your comfort zone. Learn about the world and about yourself. Learn about other people and other cultures. Broaden your horizons and your thinking.

In the process, you will become more open-minded, less judgmental, and more curious aobu the people who are right in front of you. You will lose a lot of the 'sexual idealization,' where you have ridiculous standards for women, and you will start to appreciate people on multiple different levels.

If you're single and can think outside the box, there are lots of ways to get experience in dating and meeting women.

Tribulus

Thanks for this post, man. Great stuff!!

If any of you guys are looking for coaching, I'm running a special for the first 30 minutes of a Skype call free. Hit me up, through PM or my Skype ID is white.damon.

Much love,
DW