This is the answer to everything. It's my "thesis." It took me years to put together, and I have no idea what it means. But I know it's right, and I know it's the heartmatter of pick-up. So heresit:
A strong identity, borne of experience, well-rehearsed, and conspicuously expressed, promotes connection.
I don't expect a dialogue to emerge outta this, but, boy, it'd be fun. Just, really, find a way to disagree, even if you don't. This is a ball worth kicking around.