Day Approaching

[Jaws]

So this might be kind of a trivial question, but I was wondering if you guys had any advice on approaching girls with headphones during the day?

[crow]

We need more context--on the street, in a coffee shop, etc.?

As a rule, though, there's no difference between with or without headphones. The only difference is that you'll have to give her a sec to pull them off.

I think the routine you want is something like, "I wanted to ask you a question because X. Do you ever get so caught up in something that you just need to step out of it for a second? So I was doing X, and I like it because of X, but I got to this place where--let me ask you, do you think everything needs [values statement, e.g. "to make you happy"], or is it OK to soldier through something not knowing where it'll go?"

Check out Steve Mayeda's stuff, or shoot him an email. He's great w questions like this. Be sure to post his response if you do

[Jaws]

Mostly in a coffee shop setting... But thanks for the specific answer! I really appreciate it... seems simple but I wasn't sure how to go about it and this is great!

[crow]

If you want something specific for a coffee shop, and less intense than Steve Mayeda's approach, here's a few things you might like.

1. Draw a tic-tac-toe board, write an X in it, and place it on the table. When she figures out what it is, put a pen in front of her.

2. Tip a barista to bring her a drink.

3. Write down the title of what she's reading, draw a dash, then write "you like it?" after the dash.

4. Throw her a paper airplane with "you're beautiful--but can you fly an airplane?" on it.

5. Put a sticker on her hand, see where it goes.

The biggest problem you're having is a feeling that you lack permission to open. That'll make opening an anxious proposition. A few tips for overcoming this. Most important, sit close. If you can sit close, conversation is likely to happen organically. After it does, be sure to ask her opinion on dating in Dallas. That'll steer the conversation to a place where you can ask her out.

If you can't sit close, and none of the five suggestions above seem right, remind yourself that charisma and charity are like principles. Giving her a fun story she can tell is a charismatic act as much as it's a generous one. Remember: 99% of approaches she gets are from the 1% of assholes that have a taking mentality. Lastly, most girls have a guy that they like, a boyfriend, no time for a relationship, or a ready "no" answer for some other reason. That means nothing for you. If she likes you, she'll find a way to say yes regardless of her status. Kindness is a rarity in romantic relationships, and she'll honor your efforts to bring some fun to her routine.

If that raises any questions on your part, ask away

[Jaws]

Damn, that list is gold. I am putting it to use and will come back with the results!