Dallas PUA

I've examined DeAngelo's "Approaching Women" and I have this preconditioned self conscious behavior when he outlines in social situations that I can go to bars and clubs and approach women one after another. The place I mostly meet women is at the gym and at school since I go there often. This self conscious act that gets in my head is "Well I just talked to this girl and if I go talk to another one while she's still there she'll think I'm sort sort of man whore looking to take advantage wherever there's women" sounds paranoid I know but I have a terrible time getting over it and just doing it (which will need to be done to over come this fear)

Has anyone else been down a similar situation?

Any suggestions will be appreciated

Hello there EXIA,

There are a couple of different ways that you can think about this to help you get over this fear.

1. I am a scumbag womanizer. I own that identity. I don't care if women see me talking to every other woman in this spot. The ones that don't mind won't mind. The ones that expected to be treated like a special flower, won't respond to my text.

2. I am just being a social guy. As long as I talk to everyone as if I have known them for years, no one will be able to tell if I have known the person I am talking to for years, or if I just met them.

I personally take a nice mixture of both mindsets, depending on where I am. I think a bigger problem though is that you are letting the societal pressure of approaching strangers in public get to you. You feel if somehow you get a woman's number or even talk to women that you don't know, you are doing something you aren't supposed to be doing. The mindset you have now is "I have robbed the bank; I gotten away with it. Why get greedy and try and get more money?" That mindset is counter productive, and will definitely hurt your approaches.

Option #1 is hard to own, at first, so I would own Option #2. Its a good habit to get into anyway. Talk to old guys, young guys, old women, children, whomever. That way when a hot woman comes along, she is just the next person to talk to.

Agreed with what Triumvirate said ^

I'd say that it's better if women see you talking to other women. In fact, it builds attraction. I've seen this happen to me before and just saw it happen last night with Triumvirate. Girl saw him talking to another chick earlier and opens him when we're shooting the shit.

Thx guys, this really helps

It's weird how I just invent these weird stigmas that don't even apply to reality, I need to keep breaking my old self down.

some of these guys are definitely correct. But remember, there is a real fine line between bouncing off each pretty girl not caring if you get blown out so you can move on to the next , and having some class about how you do it. I can go into a club and bounce from pretty girl to girl all night. Some how most of them seem to know when I'm just fucking around to show off, and when I'm genuine. Often times it's a good idea in a club that when the conversation is going pretty well, tell them you will talk to them later, that you have to go meet up with your buddy on the other side or that he wants to walk around (if he's with you)and move on. If I do that 5 times in a night, I've usually got 2 to 3 on average seeking me out wanting to talk later even if it's just brushing by me hard an hour later. part of the reason, I've established I have more going on than just her and it's starts to set a precedent in her mind your not some creepy stalker type guy if she does give her number. another reason is, it's human nature for 90% of single men, when the ice is broke and the conversation is going well to wear out his welcome and stay longer or try to push it further than she wants to go. Almost never does a female want to talk more than a few minutes to a male she just met in a club unless she has obvious lower value. so when she comes across someone who has the discipline to walk away from them a lot of times it fucks with their head particularly if she had some degree of interest. I've got a buddy who, as soon as he meets a hot girl in the club, he will try to talk for 2 hours if he can and sometimes he's talked 2 hours to one and he's never got anything but a fake number. I've seen dudes follow these same type of women around all night. well if he would focus those 2 hours on meeting 5 or more hot girls, his statistical odds are so much better, but unfortunately for him and her he doesn't have the discipline to walk away so his night is ruined and so is hers.

choose wisely. you can bounce from one to another but dont do it too obviously, or dont pick girls that are close.

Hell, the more obvious the better. If she doesn't see you, how else would you build that social proof or attraction? It would seem pointless to do it for that purpose if nobody else saw any of the other sets you were in. All you would gain is the momentum you built going from set to set.

You assume she's thinking:
"Look at this guy, just talking to all the girls. I'm just another number in the long line of girls he's talked to tonight."

You should be thinking:
"This guy is talking to all the girls, and now he's talking to me. Damn, turns out he's actually really interesting. Welp, their loss."

IsiMan84 wrote:Hell, the more obvious the better. If she doesn't see you, how else would you build that social proof or attraction? It would seem pointless to do it for that purpose if nobody else saw any of the other sets you were in. All you would gain is the momentum you built going from set to set.

You assume she's thinking:
"Look at this guy, just talking to all the girls. I'm just another number in the long line of girls he's talked to tonight."

You should be thinking:
"This guy is talking to all the girls, and now he's talking to me. Damn, turns out he's actually really interesting. Welp, their loss."

Two words. Eye contact. That is how you go from one girl to the next.
Well received, and unyielding eye contact is the true opener.