Vocabulary When Speaking to People

[Red Man]

During my studies this past summer reading various pickup books I've learned to eliminate the words like, uh, um, and you know from my vocabulary. I read and have learned to not say these things because it makes you sound more clear about what your saying. You sound more certain and confident during your conversations with people. I still do catch myself saying these words sometimes but I've noticed the powerful effects this has on people when your speaking.

I've noticed most people out there use these words quite often when I speak to them. Try to remember this and give it a shot. It will help you trust me. You will also start to pickup on how much other people use these words and you realize how uncertain of themselves they sound.

I'm throwing this out there and hope this helps.

[rogan]

If you want to eliminate it entirely I suggest drawing your words out longer as in saying everything much slower with more articulation. This gives you time to process your thoughts and fills the gap so an "um" or other extraneous sound is unnecessary. When I first started learning how to do this I would approach sets and see how slow I could say each word and the funny thing is people don't actually react like you think they would - they sit there and listen to you. You can bet I have had some fun with unsuspecting strangers.

[voyager]

Join a local Toastmasters club or equivalent public speaking group. Hell, um's/ah's/etc are one of the things that they focus on when you speak - both for prepared speeches and off-the-cuff speeches.

Having been doing it for a few months now, I'd recommend it!

[ninjamatt]

Something else to remember about vocabulary is that if you can substitute a more formal word for a common word women are generally impressed b/c it's unique and demonstrates more intelligence.

And example might be a pick up line I used a few weekends ago when I couldn't think of anything else. Here is how the novice might say it, or how it could be said depending on the venue:

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's a guy following me who I think is gay that won't leave me alone. I want him to see me talking to a pretty girl.

Here is a better way.

There's a person following me who is homosexual and making me uncomfortable. Can I speak to you for a moment so he will possibly go away?

[Bull Run]

Intelligence cuts both ways. I would venture to say that if you were at the meet up last Friday night and gave all of the guys present there an IQ test, everyone at the table would very likely have had a score in excess of average. Probably far above average. But, the table is also filled with guys that are members of a secret society of men that are actively trying to learn how to seduce, or better seduce, women. And, let's be clear for those of you that weren't there, I was sitting with these gentlemen as well so what I'm saying absolutely applies to me as well.

So, intelligent men trying to learn better social skills...let's face it that's what PUA is all about. Being and sounding smart is awesome, BUT it is all for not if you don't know how to be interesting, funny, and social. I have a couple of degrees, grad school and all that bullshit, and I can honestly say that some of the smartest guys I've ever met in my life were from the community. The smartest ones were the ones that could never really get a firm grasp on the social, be fun and cool aspect of game.

Pesonally, I use my words very carefully, just as ninja pointed out in his post. The use of your words and the construction of your sentences are very important. But, initially, when you're first picking a girl up it's best to lean more heavily towards humor and fun than it is to focus on sounding smart. In fact, many guys need to learn how to dumb themselves down or at least learn how to talk and sound like a more normal person when talking to people. It wasn't uncommon for women to say things like, I knew you were smart but I had no idea you were this smart. That's not a bad place to be.

Someone mentioned Toastmasters, which is a good idea. Also an improv class is helpful. Steal one-liners from popular funny movies, memorize them, and learn to deliver them appropriately...in time you'll develop your own. Do the same things with lyrics from songs if you see fit. Finally, contrary to popular belief, you can learn how to be funny. Study comedians, read some books on the art of humor. Sure, you'll never be a famous stand-up comedian but at least you'll be more fun and interesting, which if you can pair with higher levels of intelligence will serve you really well, rounding you out and giving you more value.