Dallas PUA

This post is about value. But more specifically, it's about the one area where I believe people (present company included) fuck up more than any other in this so-called game and many other areas of their lives. I'm talking about the willingness to take more risks.

Don't believe me? Then ask yourself this question. Do you regret more things that you did, or things that you haven't done? If it's the second one, you're holding on too tight.

In this life, one thing's fucking sure. Only the risk taker is really free. Free from regretting all the shit he hasn't done. Free from being locked in some self-made prison. Free from conforming. Free to be his best. Free from mundane.

And one thing's for damned sure. Women love men who take risks. Hell, everyone does.

Now then. Who is more "alpha," the man in the hummer or the man on the motorcycle? Well, a hummer can kick a motorcycle's ass. I drive a truck for work, and every time I see a motorbike on the road, I don't move or slow down for them, they move for me. Simply because, if we get in an accident, I get a fender bender, they get to be scraped off my fender. But make no mistake, its the man on the motorbike that, all else equal, is more alpha, because he's willing to put his ass on the line (or on my fender), while I'm safe in a truck.

So what is risk? Risk is the ability to tolerate uncertainty. It is NOT the ability to handle failure. If you read old psychology texts from the 80's, they describe risk-takers as people who have a death wish. Scientifically speaking, this is bullshit. Nobody wants to fail/die, or at least, 99% don't. But some people don't need to be as certain that everything will be OK as others. And that's what psychologists have learned in the last 30 years.

Here is some more bullshit to watch out for, courtesy of the American pop-media that taught you how to pick up girls by bringing flowers to their door and that all women are little angels. It's the myth of the hero with feelings. Not that having feelings is bad, but OK, there's a line from a movie I forget that sums it up perfectly in one nice neat little plate of bullshit "Courage doesn't mean I'm not afraid, it means I feel afraid, and I do it anyway."

Nope.

Do you think that Achilles was afraid to go in to battle? Look at the greek spartans, or the vikings, when men where men. These men didn't cry when they went to war. None of this Pearl Harbor Ben Aflac gay bullshit. The thought that they might just die tomorrow was a thrill to our ancestors. They fought wars for no other reason than to be a hero and make a name for themselves. Danger was fun.

You want a modern example? Too bad, but you can check out the classic movie Top Gun. I think that character is the perfect example of an alpha risk taker.

Finally, it should be noted that there are many types of risk. You can risk your body, you can take social risks and risk relationships with your friends/ so/ family, you can risk your money. You can risk your reputation.

Next up, how to grow a set...

I agree and you absolutely right. I don't know anyone who regrets taking the chances, but I know many who regret not taking them.

[QUOTE=grimm1111;36263]Here is some more bullshit to watch out for, courtesy of the American pop-media that taught you how to pick up girls by bringing flowers to their door and that all women are little angels. It's the myth of the hero with feelings. Not that having feelings is bad, but OK, there's a line from a movie I forget that sums it up perfectly in one nice neat little plate of bullshit "Courage doesn't mean I'm not afraid, it means I feel afraid, and I do it anyway."

Nope.

Do you think that Achilles was afraid to go in to battle? Look at the greek spartans, or the vikings, when men where men. These men didn't cry when they went to war. None of this Pearl Harbor Ben Aflac gay bullshit. The thought that they might just die tomorrow was a thrill to our ancestors. They fought wars for no other reason than to be a hero and make a name for themselves. Danger was fun.[/QUOTE]

Fear is a physiological response, not a psychological response. Everybody feels fear. That's where the thrill comes from. That's what separates the person who shrinks away from the challenge from the person who sucks it up and does it anyway.

If you think about Achilles, who went into battle with "no fear," you're actually saying that he has faced his fear so often and has developed such a competence at his skill (by repeatedly facing his fear) that he is able to control his physiological response and his emotional reaction to it.

Only a real risk taker gets to that level.

Good post. When I first embarked on this self-improvement journey, living without regret was one of my goals. I unfortunately regret a lot of things I did when I was younger...and don't want to pile on any more, lol.

My method of eliminating regret and taking risks is probably a little different from most...but I over engineer everything. I've gotten to the point where I don't make gut reaction comments/actions. I don't really even feel happy/hurt/angry/etc immediately. Take a little time to process it, THEN react. This applies mainly to social/professional risks.

I also suggest treating every single person you interact with the exact same way...in a reasonable manner. Probably shouldn't call your boss/co-worker "The king of the gays complete with a crown of dicks" like you might with your buddies...might not go over well. But, you can still talk to everyone on a more personable level.

Am I completely off topic? Oh well.

Basically, if you want something or are curious about something...think about feasible ways to accomplish it...then go for it. Talk to that girl at the bar that you think is way out of your league. Talk to your superiors about that raise you feel you deserve. Non-aggressively confront that person you have friction with. Cut ties with that buddy who does nothing but lower your value (gets you in to trouble, fucks your gf, etc.) Invest in yourself by finishing that degree.

That's enough ADD-fueled rambling for today...

[QUOTE=Rhody;36268]Fear is a physiological response, not a psychological response. Everybody feels fear. That's where the thrill comes from. That's what separates the person who shrinks away from the challenge from the person who sucks it up and does it anyway.

If you think about Achilles, who went into battle with "no fear," you're actually saying that he has faced his fear so often and has developed such a competence at his skill (by repeatedly facing his fear) that he is able to control his physiological response and his emotional reaction to it.

Only a real risk taker gets to that level.[/QUOTE]

Nah, you've got it confused.

Don't believe me? Go out and do something that is only mildly risky and childish. For example, you can go out and deliberately cut someone off in traffic. There is no fear involved, only a surge of energy, what I call a thrill. (physically, dopamine and just more energy in the cortex in general) It feels good. You'll laugh.

However, if you increase your level of risk, say you decide to run across a busy street, you'll pass the point where you merely feel energized and trip what I call the "kill switch," which is you engaging a part of your brain called the amygdala that controls the fight or flight response. This is fear. Totally different section of the brain.

The thing about fear is that you are hard-wired to avoid it. So simply pushing yourself through more and more fear-inducing situations will not do much but reinforce the action of your fear centers. Like working on a muscle. It will just get stronger.

Talking about a guy like Achilles, his threshold was much higher. That is, someone like that needs more stimulus from his environment to flip the "kill switch" than most people.

The way to develop this is to spend a lot of time doing things that keep you thrilled. Do them until you get bored doing them, and need more of a "push" to get that same rush. Eventually, you can push your own threshold way back, to where doing risky things that you want to do is fun rather than fearful.

[QUOTE=Smirks;36269]Good post. When I first embarked on this self-improvement journey, living without regret was one of my goals. I unfortunately regret a lot of things I did when I was younger...and don't want to pile on any more, lol.

My method of eliminating regret and taking risks is probably a little different from most...but I over engineer everything. I've gotten to the point where I don't make gut reaction comments/actions. I don't really even feel happy/hurt/angry/etc immediately. Take a little time to process it, THEN react. This applies mainly to social/professional risks.

I also suggest treating every single person you interact with the exact same way...in a reasonable manner. Probably shouldn't call your boss/co-worker "The king of the gays complete with a crown of dicks" like you might with your buddies...might not go over well. But, you can still talk to everyone on a more personable level.

Am I completely off topic? Oh well.

Basically, if you want something or are curious about something...think about feasible ways to accomplish it...then go for it. Talk to that girl at the bar that you think is way out of your league. Talk to your superiors about that raise you feel you deserve. Non-aggressively confront that person you have friction with. Cut ties with that buddy who does nothing but lower your value (gets you in to trouble, fucks your gf, etc.) Invest in yourself by finishing that degree.

That's enough ADD-fueled rambling for today...[/QUOTE]

I think that just means you have a high level of self-awareness, which is something every one of us should strive for. I've been doing some meditation recently called vipassana, if anyone is interested, that is supposed to help develop this and so far is working out pretty well.

This is one of the more interesting threads I've read on here. Good stuff...