Marketing & Social Status

[Guest]

Just some thoughts and reflections.

[B]Martketing[/B]

In pickup, we are marketing ourselves to women. We present our best selves to them and they decide if we are worth taking home. The same applies to communities. We present our best selves to them and they choose if we are worthy to be a part of their community.

[B]Social Status[/B]

When we enter a new community, we must market ourselves to the community so that they know who we are as a person and what value we can offer. The community must then re-adjust status accordingly as the new member must find where they belong. This period may or may not cause an upheaval depending on the new members value.

I've seen guys come into communities who clearly have nothing to offer. You never get to know them on the board or off. Then there are the guys that offer value, be it through new thoughts and ideas or through actions such as starting up newbie nights or joining/starting a class. Either of these types of people are not defined by the community, they define themselves.

In the community I come from, guys are encouraged to be active in the community. There are different ways to be active however.

[B]~S[/B]

[Guest]

...

[Guest]

Smirks,

I appreciate you removing the majority of posts on my introduction thread. That was the right thing to do for all involved. Thank you.

However.. (and I would take this up privately but after I saw a private message posted publicly on the board, I'd rather discuss this in plain sight because I lost trust in the system here and the social pressure on you to continue to respond positively should help the positive outcome of the situation.)

I do not appreciate the clear attempt to AMOG me in the way that you left the thread before you locked it. I'd rather not play the AMOG game with anyone here because we'd all lose.

So..

Please fix the thread in a way where we ALL can start over fresh. You removed everyones negative comments and actions except your own. Let's all start fresh.

Sincerely,

~S

P.S. I've made every attempt, and will continue to be as respectful as possible to all involved.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Serendipitous;34668]Just some thoughts and reflections.


[B]Social Status[/B]

When we enter a new community, we must market ourselves to the community so that they know who we are as a person and what value we can offer. The community must then re-adjust status accordingly as the new member must find where they belong. This period may or may not cause an upheaval depending on the new members value.

I've seen guys come into communities who clearly have nothing to offer.
[B]~S[/B][/QUOTE]

Ahhhh things are starting to make sense now!

[Guest]

Peachy...you want it public? It will be public.

If I felt it necessary to remove my comment and your response to it, I would have.

To be completely honest, I flat out do not like you. From the get go, you came off to me someone who came here to shamelessly promote himself. I made my comment, and didn't view the thread for the weekend. I come back, and I see veteran members of this board reacting as I figured they would toward you, but maybe a bit too harshly. Mind you, they too sensed you were here to shamelessly promote yourself.

For someone who touts himself as being so experienced in the skill set we're all here to learn...you handled yourself in your intro thread like a $30,000 Millionaire would. For some reason, you think you're entitled to a certain level of respect because of your "skill level" and "expertise." To a lair that focuses on the actual individual and not the online persona...you are no different to me than any other dude on the internet who can string sentences together.

Add that to your overall faux-alpha demeanor and the picture should be blatantly clear to you WHY you received the response you did from this community.

Unless you have a "History of the Merkin (WITH PICS!)" thread on the way, I'd suggest one of two scenarios:

1) Simmer down, learn the differences of our community compared to yours, respect the differences, and contribute like a normal human being...not someone itching to see the pretty graphs in Google Analytics go up.

-or-

2) Remove the Bookmark to this forum from your browser and enjoy the Boston forum and the many others you've joined for whatever reason across the globe.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Smirks;34713]For some reason, you think you're entitled to a certain level of respect because of your "skill level" and "expertise."[/QUOTE]


Hit the nail on the head...

I've blown up online forums before just for the fun it and the absolute best way to do so is to approach with an aire of entitlement. Respect is earned, not granted.

As for this:

[COLOR=Red]The community must then re-adjust status accordingly as the new member must find where they belong. This period may or may not cause an upheaval depending on the new members value.[/COLOR]

All I can say is WTF? This is a community of men that meet in real life to learn to be better with women in real life. You make it sound like you're starting a coup d'etat not introducing yourself to a new community of aspiring PUAs.

Next time instead of ignoring the culture of a community you know nothing about and just projecting your morality on us, why don't you take some time and feel it out first? You're here to be a member of our community, we're not here to be a member of your community. As such, you have to approach us with humility and respect otherwise...well, you saw what happened.

And, yes, Smirks was right. Some of the veterans here, myself included, responded a little too harshly. Consider that as close to an apology as you'll get from any of us...

[Guest]

Shouldn't women want to market themselves to you?

[Guest]

I don't feel I acted overly harsh. The dick patronized me(and at least 3 others for that matter) before I had even said anything other than, "What is this?", asking him to explain a product for sale on his/his groups blog.

I feel my reaction was justified. I believe his patronizing ass got what he deserved, and that is, put in his place. His place being no better than the rest of us. We are all on equal footing here and there is no need to place yourself on a pedestal in front of a community.

You have a different approach to something? That's great, start posting and let people decide if that's the route they want to go.

[QUOTE]When we enter a new community, we must market ourselves to the community so that they know who we are as a person and what value we can offer. The community must then re-adjust status accordingly as the new member must find where they belong. This period may or may not cause an upheaval depending on the new members value.[/QUOTE]This right here shows that you have no concept of what we are talking about. You view a "community" as a collective of elite people (namely which you must bust into and propel yourself to the top). Yet, you have no clue how this "community" functions, and in case you're wondering it's through [U]individual actions[/U].

If people find your posts valuable then they will read your posts, and respond on them. If they don't then they most likely will ignore your posts (something you have no control over). It's not your job to define value for people, this is akin to what Obama is doing now for the American people. It is within your scope to [U]provide[/U] information if you want. You cannot force people to do anything and certainly in this community there is no forcing of value. Many members write things all the time, and while it may be of certain value to the member who wrote it, it does not mean that it is or should be valuable to everyone.

"re-adjust[ing] status" is not something that is done in a short period, not unless it is a socialistic/communistic society, which this is not, and you sir have no right anyway to assign status in the first place. Status is some imaginary thing that people give. And while status may play a prominent role in the outside pick up world it does not play a role in this particular community because everyone posts just the same. If people happen to find your posts enthralling then they may very well ask you more questions and look up to you.

What you fail to understand is that this community values personal, tangible connections to people, and the ones that don't go elsewhere. (Meaning that we value face to face interactions.) We welcome new information, you are more than welcome to post here and post your perspective on game. We have never said you couldn't, but when you come in here and patronize members and act like a total arrogant little shit, we will treat you as such. And when you have the persona of the type of person (which we have seen all to often), that goes from lair to lair and peddles product or siphons members off with PM's to gain some form of business, we will stick a cork in your ass.

List of behavior that suggests to me that you are just some self proclaimed "guru" just here to get some type of business (regardless of your claims that you aren't):
1) Former link to your blog that you removed.
2) Signature says, [QUOTE]"Threesome questions? Get in touch via email or PM."[/QUOTE] (show me another member who tells others to contact them explicitly for PU advice)
3) Your constant talk about value, and how people should move over to "let you in" because you're so valuable
4) The fact that you still have "PM FOR LINK" in your intro post.
5) [QUOTE]"PM or email me with any questions you might have."[/QUOTE] being written AGAIN in your intro post. If your signature showed up, in your intro post alone you would be telling people 3 TIMES to PM you for something, and this is AFTEr all of the to do before...

Your hair thread was clearly informative, good job and thanks for all the info, that was way more than I knew. You didn't exactly tell anyone how to compliment on the hair, all you said was, (paraphrased) "These are the definitions of what all this jargon is." I think there would be a particular value if you addressed HOW to compliment.

Your first impression has made it an extremely difficult path to win our "affection".

In all seriousness, if you want to actually do what you say and provide value and since you most likely never come down here to meet any of us, Take these friendly suggestions:
1) Remove all matter of "PM you for anything" in any of your posts or signatures.
2) Start posting stuff that can be useful and how it's applicable in field.
3) Stop all matter of talking yourself up to us, and let us be the judge of how good and valuable your material is.
4) Apologize to me and the others for your patronizing ways.

That's a start and others may have more, but those are the things on my gripe list.

[Guest]

[SIZE=6]Serendipity =[/SIZE] [SIZE=7][B]FAIL[/B][/SIZE]

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Serendipitous;34668]
I've seen guys come into communities who clearly have nothing to offer.
[B]~S[/B][/QUOTE]

;)