Lately I've been extremely bummed out, and have lost the desire to play the game. I won't go into everything going on in my life that's making me miserable right now (some of it I have no control over, and really just need to let time take its course), but part of it has to do with my current employment situation and the desire for a change in career. I've already devised a goal and plan of exectution to get me to where I want to be, but it's a slow process and it's going to take some time before I see the results I want, maybe even two years to get where I want to be.
In the meantime, I'm a total downer. When I go out, if I'm not drinking myself into a silly stupor, I'm too bummed to approach women. I find myself staying away from the kind of bars and clubs where I can go meet women. I just don't have that drive to play the game, and because my inner game is also completely fucked, I wouldn't be very effective anyway. Obviously getting laid would help me feel better. I had a great streak from October on down to early December, but now I'm just too depressed to get out there and do it. Any advice anyone can give me to help weather this storm or get up out of this funk all together?
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Sticking point: depression
27 posts
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by Guest » Sun Jan 10, 2010 2:25 pm
Women (and game) is only one of many contributing factors in life than makes a man truly happy. Others include, but not limited to: wealth, gainful employment, loving family, great friends and health.
From your post, it's hard to truly pinpoint the reason for your depression. My suggestion is to take some time away from game and focusing on the other things that make you happy.
You can meditate, spend quality time with your friends and family, workout, play sports--anything that makes you happy.
If nothing works, you may be "clinically depressed" and require professional help.
Good luck.
From your post, it's hard to truly pinpoint the reason for your depression. My suggestion is to take some time away from game and focusing on the other things that make you happy.
You can meditate, spend quality time with your friends and family, workout, play sports--anything that makes you happy.
If nothing works, you may be "clinically depressed" and require professional help.
Good luck.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Jan 10, 2010 3:26 pm
Thanks for the tips. Another thing that's been really bothering me (more pertinant to this message board) is that I run into my ex-gf everywhere I go. Even though we're on good terms and even though it doesn't really make any sense, seeing her will always ruin my evening no matter what. I've tried hard to avoid her, but I can't because we have too many of the same friends. It's gotten to the point where I get nervous about going anywhere because I think she's going to be there.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:17 pm
[QUOTE]Lately I've been extremely bummed out, and have lost the desire to play the game. I won't go into everything going on in my life that's making me miserable right now (some of it I have no control over, and really just need to let time take its course), but part of it has to do with my current employment situation and the desire for a change in career. I've already devised a goal and plan of exectution to get me to where I want to be, but it's a slow process and it's going to take some time before I see the results I want, maybe even two years to get where I want to be.[/QUOTE]
2 years no wonder that is forever to feel like you accomplished something. Set smaller, but still somewhat challenging goals in the short term that lead to this long term goal. Your focus shouldn't be wishing for a certain future. If you just wish it will never come. Do things that challenge you even if they are small to build confidence. Is leaving the house a challenge? Then just go to the store and talk to someone there whether it be an old lady or the hottest girl ever. I agree with prodigy on the exercise. Just as good as most anti depression drugs and its easy to feel like you have accomplished something. Also stop drinking so much it depletes your brain of the very chemicals that will make you less depressed.
[QUOTE]
In the meantime, I'm a total downer. When I go out, if I'm not drinking myself into a silly stupor, I'm too bummed to approach women. I find myself staying away from the kind of bars and clubs where I can go meet women. I just don't have that drive to play the game, and because my inner game is also completely fucked, I wouldn't be very effective anyway. Obviously getting laid would help me feel better. I had a great streak from October on down to early December, but now I'm just too depressed to get out there and do it. Any advice anyone can give me to help weather this storm or get up out of this funk all together?[/QUOTE]
I would try approaching them in an easier environment. Join a club you like. Volunteer, join a dog training club, crash weddings, join an interest group or political one. There are tons of options and in most of them more chicks than guys go in my experience. Your inner game is fucked in my opinion because you aren't giving yourself a feeling of accomplishment. If you sit at home all day telling yourself your life sucks well.. your life does suck, but all it takes is going out a little bit each day to start building yourself up. Stop talking to yourself like you are a loser! Seriously you have control over what you think. Why would you diss yourself all day long. Other people may do that, but at least have yourself on your side. You will see results pretty quickly, but you have to continue to do these things or you will probably end up feeling shitty again. Depression is the biggest problem in america today. You are not the only one, but there are treatments and things you can do to really relieve alot of it. I believe in you.
2 years no wonder that is forever to feel like you accomplished something. Set smaller, but still somewhat challenging goals in the short term that lead to this long term goal. Your focus shouldn't be wishing for a certain future. If you just wish it will never come. Do things that challenge you even if they are small to build confidence. Is leaving the house a challenge? Then just go to the store and talk to someone there whether it be an old lady or the hottest girl ever. I agree with prodigy on the exercise. Just as good as most anti depression drugs and its easy to feel like you have accomplished something. Also stop drinking so much it depletes your brain of the very chemicals that will make you less depressed.
[QUOTE]
In the meantime, I'm a total downer. When I go out, if I'm not drinking myself into a silly stupor, I'm too bummed to approach women. I find myself staying away from the kind of bars and clubs where I can go meet women. I just don't have that drive to play the game, and because my inner game is also completely fucked, I wouldn't be very effective anyway. Obviously getting laid would help me feel better. I had a great streak from October on down to early December, but now I'm just too depressed to get out there and do it. Any advice anyone can give me to help weather this storm or get up out of this funk all together?[/QUOTE]
I would try approaching them in an easier environment. Join a club you like. Volunteer, join a dog training club, crash weddings, join an interest group or political one. There are tons of options and in most of them more chicks than guys go in my experience. Your inner game is fucked in my opinion because you aren't giving yourself a feeling of accomplishment. If you sit at home all day telling yourself your life sucks well.. your life does suck, but all it takes is going out a little bit each day to start building yourself up. Stop talking to yourself like you are a loser! Seriously you have control over what you think. Why would you diss yourself all day long. Other people may do that, but at least have yourself on your side. You will see results pretty quickly, but you have to continue to do these things or you will probably end up feeling shitty again. Depression is the biggest problem in america today. You are not the only one, but there are treatments and things you can do to really relieve alot of it. I believe in you.
- Guest
by Guest » Sun Jan 10, 2010 4:21 pm
Oh and about seeing your ex you probably need to forgive her. Yea I'm sure you got fucked over, but forgiveness is for you not her. I know it's not as easy as me saying that, but you must forgive her or you will always be affected by seeing her. Something that I did is I listed out alot of traits about my ex that I didn't like. I have convinced myself that I have settled because she had a few key traits that I did not want. This has really helped me out, so you could probably try it out too.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:04 am
[QUOTE=Fuzz;34441] Obviously getting laid would help me feel better. but now I'm just too depressed to get out there and do it. Any advice anyone can give me to help weather this storm or get up out of this funk all together?[/QUOTE]
Hire a H(o)(o)ker! ;)
Personally, I have always been most successful with women when all the other things in my life were going well. They'll pick up on this as well. I never put a woman as first priority either, there are far more important things.
Hire a H(o)(o)ker! ;)
Personally, I have always been most successful with women when all the other things in my life were going well. They'll pick up on this as well. I never put a woman as first priority either, there are far more important things.
- Guest
by Guest » Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:42 am
Fuzz, I have always admired your posts and your all around attitude. You seem like a fun and positive guy through most of it, though I have never met you. I have just finished going through the same thing that you are experiencing now. It does get better, but you do have to practice full and complete separation from the ex.
Like the other guys said, Dallas is a big city with a ton to do. I know I'm not well known around these boards. I'm very new and don't post often, mostly just lurk and read trying to soak up all the info I can. Personally I was dumped 3 months ago by a girl I thought I was in love with and thought the feeling was reciprocated. At the time I was also living in a small suburb of Dallas and I felt like I was going to run into her everywhere I went. Every restaurant and bar in the town we had been to and it depressed me to set foot inside them because her and I had such good times there. Finally I realized that I was stuck in the same rut I had been in while with her, I began going to other towns just to eat and have lunch. If friends wanted to go out I told them sure but lets check out someplace new in a surrounding suburb like rowlett, plano, etc. Eventually that got better, I went from thinking about her every 5 minutes to once a day, and finally over this previous weekend I realized I hadn't thought about her in 2 full days.
The key was separation, you have to get away from the routine things that you used to do with her. And definitely try out a new hobby, something active and physical that stresses your mind and body to full exhaustion. For the first 2 months the only times I was happy was when I was out mountain biking. But during those 30 minutes to 4 hours I was exstatic, blissful, and back to my positive and happy self.
Like UncleHowie said, women will notice when you are composed and have life under control. Take a while to ignore women and focus entirely on making yourself happy and regaining control. I wish you luck and promise it does get much much better.
Oh and most importantly STOP DRINKING! That causes you to go from mildly depressed to unbearably depressed over the course of 3 beers. Alcohol is a depressant, and during these times we certainly don't need any more of that. :cool:
Like the other guys said, Dallas is a big city with a ton to do. I know I'm not well known around these boards. I'm very new and don't post often, mostly just lurk and read trying to soak up all the info I can. Personally I was dumped 3 months ago by a girl I thought I was in love with and thought the feeling was reciprocated. At the time I was also living in a small suburb of Dallas and I felt like I was going to run into her everywhere I went. Every restaurant and bar in the town we had been to and it depressed me to set foot inside them because her and I had such good times there. Finally I realized that I was stuck in the same rut I had been in while with her, I began going to other towns just to eat and have lunch. If friends wanted to go out I told them sure but lets check out someplace new in a surrounding suburb like rowlett, plano, etc. Eventually that got better, I went from thinking about her every 5 minutes to once a day, and finally over this previous weekend I realized I hadn't thought about her in 2 full days.
The key was separation, you have to get away from the routine things that you used to do with her. And definitely try out a new hobby, something active and physical that stresses your mind and body to full exhaustion. For the first 2 months the only times I was happy was when I was out mountain biking. But during those 30 minutes to 4 hours I was exstatic, blissful, and back to my positive and happy self.
Like UncleHowie said, women will notice when you are composed and have life under control. Take a while to ignore women and focus entirely on making yourself happy and regaining control. I wish you luck and promise it does get much much better.
Oh and most importantly STOP DRINKING! That causes you to go from mildly depressed to unbearably depressed over the course of 3 beers. Alcohol is a depressant, and during these times we certainly don't need any more of that. :cool:
- Guest
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