Power Games, IOI's and IOD's.....

[Guest]

I just started seeing this girl, and I'm beginning to feel like I'm putting too much into the interaction. Day 2's and 3's but no sex yet, though lots and lots of fooling around. Her game is total power trip, for instance, she's leaving on vacation and demanding that I pack her bags for her (I don't) or demands that I admit she's funny (also don't). Basically, the way I've been playing it: my actions are total IOI (spending time with her, kissing, etc...) but all my statements are IOD's (teasing her, making fun of her, generally pointing out flaws in her personality). As a result we go tit for tat in these crazy sexually charged power games. On one hand, I think she hasn't had sex because she sees me as a player, and is afraid that if she gives it up, I'm probably going to fly the coop. So she wants be sure that I really like her. My fear, though, is that as soon as she gets that glaring IOI, that one sure statement, that'll be enough for her and she'll lose interest.

I've been mulling it over. I could eject and forget about her. I could try and keep pushing at it a little while longer. Or perhaps maybe I can find some sort of subtle way of qualifying her that won't totally reveal my hand.

Or something else? What's my best course of action?

[Guest]

Well dude are you at least having fun with this girl, it's only day three give her a little more time, if you've got solid game and she's digging you she'll come around. I after a week and your still not getting any, and it's still bothering you limit the time she gets to spend with you, make it very clear that even though you dig her your world dose not revolve around her. Just slide her back into rotation, variety is the spice of life.

[Guest]

"If you say so."

[Guest]

Being a non-delayer of sex I both hate this type of girl and like this type of girl at the same time. On one hand I hate her since she is making it hard to sleep with her. On the other hand I like her because almost all girls are easy to lay so the ones who wait a while I like a little better.

Now this can go back and forth over and over. I can come up with reasons why I hate and like this girl all day.

What it really comes down to is what do you see in this girl. If she is just some girl you wanna nail then yeah too much work walk away. Or at the very least keep her at a distance. If this is a girl you think has girlfriend potential then maybe it is worth waiting for? No one can answer your question really but yourself.

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Finesse;33382]"If you say so."[/QUOTE]

?

[Guest]

[QUOTE=Fuzz;33377]I just started seeing this girl, and I'm beginning to feel like I'm putting too much into the interaction. Day 2's and 3's but no sex yet, though lots and lots of fooling around. Her game is total power trip, for instance, she's leaving on vacation and demanding that I pack her bags for her (I don't) or demands that I admit she's funny (also don't). Basically, the way I've been playing it: my actions are total IOI (spending time with her, kissing, etc...) but all my statements are IOD's (teasing her, making fun of her, generally pointing out flaws in her personality). As a result we go tit for tat in these crazy sexually charged power games. On one hand, I think she hasn't had sex because she sees me as a player, and is afraid that if she gives it up, I'm probably going to fly the coop. So she wants be sure that I really like her. My fear, though, is that as soon as she gets that glaring IOI, that one sure statement, that'll be enough for her and she'll lose interest.

I've been mulling it over. I could eject and forget about her. I could try and keep pushing at it a little while longer. Or perhaps maybe I can find some sort of subtle way of qualifying her that won't totally reveal my hand.

Or something else? What's my best course of action?[/QUOTE]



I've always looked at this type of relationship as a Cold War. Two super powers covertly fighting for world supremacy, or relationship supremacy as it is.

Keep that in mind. She is vying for power in this relationship. She is trying to determine where she stands, how much she can get away with, and how much she can influence your actions and thoughts.

I would consider this to be a challenge. A battle of equal wills. Keep doing what you are doing. Do not give in to her. The general rules of PU still apply here...think of it like this. Would you buy her anything or give her anything of any meaningful value if you had not yet fucked her? We both know the answer to that right?

Same thing here. If you show her that glaring IOI then you are giving her the gift of relationship supremacy. Chance are that she's not going to lose interest but, instead, clamp down and become a tyrant. I don't think you risk losing this girl, I think you risk getting this girl and her holding all the cards.

In that context, is it really that much of a loss if you push too hard or act too tough and she leaves? I think there are three outcomes: 1) you 'cave' and she becomes a tyrant 2) you are too tough to crack and she leaves OR 3) you are too tough to crack and she eventually understands that you're not going to cave, that you're serious and genuine, and then she showers you with uber amounts of respect...of the three, only two options reflect a man that has some dignity and respect for himself.


But, if you gain her respect this is the BEST thing you can get from a woman. A woman that RESPECTS you will do whatever it is that you ask of her and more. She'll never stray, she'll never wander, she'll stay devoted to you and your needs. And that, my friend, is exactly where you want to be...

Good luck.

[Guest]

Her: "I am totally funny. Admit it."
You: "If you say so."

[Guest]

Had almost forgetten about this one. Some background: I think we've been on three seperate dates. First date, we got totally naked and went down on each other. 2nd, we made out and went under her shirt. Third date, making out, but no nudity/shirt lifting, lots of resistance. So, it seems like I'm making less progress with each date. I left town, and that gave me an oppurtunity to freeze her out. I never try to hang out with her on weekends, and will only hang out with her on a weeknight when I have nothing better to do.

Anyway, incredible IOI: she actually called the other day (we never talk on the phone, just through text), and I ignored it (was busy at the time). I called back 15 minutes later and she ignored it. Then she texted me, and we had a short little interaction. The next day, I don't hear from her, nor do I try try to contact her. Then today, I send her a text.

The opening text was a funny/neg sort of text. She replies with "haha. What's up friend?"

Friend? Should I be worried? Often when making out with her in her room and trying to combat LMR, I'll use the line "That's cool, we can just be friends with sexual tension." This seems like a shit test here. Knowing her domineering personality, is it possible that she's trying to put me in the firend zone because she doesn't have control over the situation.

Any advice on how to proceed?

[Guest]

The line finally went dead on this one. Sent her a text invite the other night, which she hasn't replied to yet (first time ever she doesn't reply). Sent a follow up text hoping to salvage the situation, also ignored. I feel like every step is a step backwards for me and that I'm wasting my time. Number deleted. I'm done with this one.