Beginner's Field Report

[Guest]

First off, I am a complete beginner and I am very open to feedback and learning. This was my first time going out since I have started studying about a week ago. As I posted in the Introductions forum, I just split from my old HS sweetheart that I had been with for 10 years.

One of my friends was out with a few of his work friends, and I decided to meet up and join them in Dallas. I had hung out with a few of them before the HB9 that would eventually become my target got there. I was very social and outgoing, and had most of the group talking about how much they enjoyed hanging out with me about the time she arrived.

When i met her, I started off with some light playful touching on the shoulder. She told me the her story on how she was excited about moving Monday to Hawaii with her boyfriend. I talked with her for a few more minutes, then joined up with the rest of the group and let her be. About the time the bar was closing, she came back up to me and my good friend as he was closing out histab and she was visibly drunk. I told her that she could not drive home, and that we could give her a ride. She was hungry so I agreed to drive her car with her to get food, while my friend followed behind in my car. She was acting very flirty and I was very lightly flirting back, during the walk to her car, I was leading her by the hand and squeezed to see if she squeezed back and she did.

In the car, she had to call her boyfriend in Hawaii, and she was making faces at me while she told him that she was with her friends from work, and that she was fine. After the phone call, she re initiated some light kino, and I escalated it to holding her hand while she told me that she didn't care what her boyfriend thought because he had been sleeping next to his ex all summer while she was in Dallas.

At the restaurant, my friend jumped into the seat next to her, and I sat across and we touched legs a bit until she put her foot up in my lap. I used the opportunity to throw in a few negs like "Is she always like this?" as well as when she tried to take food from my plate I gave her a disapproving look, turned my body away from her, and stopped rubbing her leg. (She put it back)

She asked me what I did for work, as we hadn't really ever qualified each other much. I stole the line about being a disposable lighter repairman from the game, and when she pressed I said that I work in finance for a mortgage company and that it isn't exciting to talk about, but the pay is good. (This has been a sticking point in the past as I work in a very technical quant finance position that not many people understand and it gets boring very vast when I have to explain it)

After this, we left for her place to drop her off, and my friend again followed behind in my car. During the drive, I realized that I had never really qualified her at all, but I tried to catch up. I told her that it was a shame that she was moving, that she really interested me and that was very rare. She grabbed my hand and escalated the kino into a much more sexual manner. When we got to her place, she invited me up saying, "I don't have a couch any more, or a tv, but I have a bed."

Unfortunately, my friend was waiting for me in my car. We kissed for a bit until he got out and walked up. For some reason though, I didn't just tell him to drive my car home, I told her that it sucked that I had to take him back to his car. She was completely ready to go, but I felt bad because she had a boyfriend and she had been pretty drunk when all this started. I ended up flaking out, and driving my friend back.

I want to be someone that girls look back at and fantasize about how I swept them off their feet, not that they made a mistake while they were drunk right before they moved away. Was this my AFCness coming out because I was scared to close the deal? I was kicking myself the whole ride home for not following through.

I am open to any critique. The biggest thing I noticed is that I was a lot more comfortable trying to build attraction than progressing from there, as that is the area I have studied the most in last week.

Thanks for the feedback,

Rydur

[Guest]

I'm a beginner also. Just got out of a LTR myself. I don't think it's AFC to not do it, but maybe that's my AFC coming out =D Like you said:
1) She was pretty drunk
2) She had a boyfriend

As long as you don't violate your own values, you're fine. Some PUAs will only go after singles, probably due to their abundance mentality.