Chat/IM game

[Guest]

Convo: Knew this girl from way back when groiwing up, but shes a genuine 9 now.

Fenix:
no clubbing people like baby seals!

9:49pm R
ok

9:50pm Fenix
ok?
havnet talked to you in ...9years?
and i get an ok? :)
just playing
seriously, how you been?

9:51pm R
good...just relaxing at home right now

9:51pm Fenix
coolness. same here. worked on site stuff all day

9:52pm R
yeah, that is pretty cool what u r doing...
good luck with it all

9:53pm Fenix
thanks
its party pills, hangover stuff
and event promotions

9:54pm R
cool

9:58pm Fenix
what paying the bills these days?

9:58pm R
nothing!

9:58pm Fenix
nothing?

9:58pm R
i got laid off my last job due to shrinkage
and nothing down here is hiring

9:59pm Fenix
wow
sorry to hear that

9:59pm R
it is happening everywhere right now, it is very sad

9:59pm Fenix
what were you doing?

9:59pm R
paralegal

9:59pm Fenix
thats a change
didnt see you as that type
but we both have changed a lot\

10:00pm R
been doing it for 6 yrs now

10:02pm Fenix
loved the pics with the boots, btw

10:03pm R
lol, thanks, those seem to be a hit on here!

10:05pm Fenix
haha
thought i was being original. might have to take that back

10:06pm R
too late!

10:08pm Fenix
haha
still a smartass

10:08pm R
of course!

10:08pm Fenix
well, i am the reigning champ.. international smartass award 3 years running

10:12pm R
impressive

10:13pm Fenix
yes mam
your still absolutely adorable

10:13pm R
why do you say that?

10:15pm Fenix
its a compliment, take it

10:16pm R
oh i will take it, just not sure what in this 5 min conversation made you think it!

10:17pm Fenix
i have a psych degree sweetie, i can read people
you have matured a ton
seems like you got your head on straight
but then again, we all were crazy kids back in the day

10:18pm R
especially me!
i used to have the biggest crush on you! lol

10:18pm Fenix
it went both ways

10:19pm R
lol, then why did we never act on it??

10:19pm Fenix
we did, kinda
i remember 2 times clearly

10:20pm R
yeah, i dont know that i do...what happened and when?

10:20pm Fenix
there was that one time, on the dock at the apartments
i made a bet and lost or something

10:20pm R
and what did we do?

10:20pm Fenix
a make out, if i remember right

10:21pm R
yeah that sounds right

10:21pm Fenix
that was when we were younger

10:21pm R
wow we had to be pretty young then
and the 2nd time?

10:21pm Fenix
think i was driving the mustang at the time
we were in high school
and you bummed a ride home
we hung out for a while, cause your mom was at work
i think a shirt came off
i had no idea what i was doing
i wanted more, but held back

10:24pm R
hmmmm, really
?
wow, i do not remember that!

10:24pm Fenix
it so happened
there was another time, a few weeks later, you bummed a ride again
and were shit testing me
we got into an argument
and didnt talk much after that

10:25pm R
wow i really dont remember that!

10:26pm R
think it was my junior year of hs. not sure though
gues it was that memorable, hahaha

10:28pm R
dont feel bad, i really do not have a good memor of things that happened between like 11 and 15
maybe even 16

Fenix
i dont feel, bad, im just giving you a hard time
was that a very tough time for you?

10:29pm R
i did not used to think so but i guess it must have been because i seem to not remember much at all

10:30pm Fenix
my 18-21 was like that

10:32pm R
yeah i had a girl named S. befriend me on here and told me she knew from the apartments but i could not remember her at ll
all*

10:33pm Fenix
i got nothing either
no help here

10:33pm R
lol, it's all good!

10:33pm Fenix
didnt you get freakin tall?

10:34pm R
i am 5' 7" now

10:34pm Fenix
hmmm
you were little, last time i saw ya

10:34pm R
some consider me short w/o heels

10:34pm Fenix
like 5'4 or something

10:34pm R
tall w/ heels
yeah prolly round there in hs, sprouted after 17

10:35pm Fenix
hmmm, i might have to bring the lifts if i make it back that way

10:35pm R
how tall are you?

10:35pm Fenix
hahaha
5'9, same as i was then
bigger though

10:35pm R
thats not bad at all

10:35pm Fenix
i was a skinny mofo

10:36pm R
yes u were
i actually ran into your dad a little while ago
at the walmart down the road from me

10:36pm Fenix
that must have been a trip

10:37pm R
yeah, i did not recognize him, then said who he was

10:39pm Fenix
well, if i saw you in a bar, id have to have my game face on :)

10:39pm R
lol!

10:39pm Fenix
you know its true
if guys are dumb enough to buy you drinks, your smart enough to take them

10:40pm R
this is true!
god bless their dumb little hearts!

10:40pm Fenix
i didnt know that back then
hahaha'

10:41pm R
yeah it takes guys a few yeara to usually figure that just because u buy a drink doesnt mean she will be anymore interested but it does mean she will take it!

10:41pm Fenix
ahhah, so true
girls learn the game earlier

10:42pm R
yeah, we have too

10:42pm Fenix
like with you, because we have know each other for so long, its different
if i was just some guy, id have to approach it differently
hypothetically speaking, of course

10:43pm R
psycho analyzing the art of the pick up, are we?

10:43pm Fenix
yup
its fun
so are the results
girl, youd be an awesome wingwoman

10:44pm R
i am an awesome wingwoman!

10:44pm Fenix
your still not afraid to talk to anyone, i can tell

10:44pm R
all my boys want me to come out with them to get them chicks!
never have been never will be

10:44pm Fenix
see? i know these things

10:45pm R
lol

10:45pm Fenix
i was there in october, btw

10:45pm R
yeah?

10:45pm Fenix
ya, for my birthday. see the folks, old friends

10:46pm R
i wish i could move away from here...
that way when i visited it i would actually like it!

10:46pm Fenix
hahaha
if you could move anywhere, where would it be?

10:47pm R
i want to move i know i should move where there is a better economy but i dont know where that is
i think i would move to tampa

10:47pm Fenix
tampa is fun
i had too much fun in tampa
learned a few lessons too

10:48pm R
i know a lot of people there so it would be awesome
but i am not sure their economy is doing very well

10:48pm Fenix
its jacked up all over

10:48pm R
yeah, i would move anywhere i could get a good job again!

10:48pm Fenix
dallas is ok. im considering becoming a teacher

10:50pm R
ewww, a teacher?
dont u remember how mean we were to teachers?

10:50pm Fenix
haha, YOU were

10:50pm R
oh yeah!

10:50pm FEnix
still a meanie i see
;)

[Guest]

10:51pm R
only when necessary

10:51pm Fenix
like when a guy starts grinding on your in a club, and hes creepy

10:51pm R
then i just move and dont say anything unless he follows me

10:52pm Fenix
we call that a bich shield

10:52pm R
then i tell him no

10:52pm Fenix
not that you are, but you have to be in that situation

10:53pm R
yeah
i can turn my bitch on!

10:53pm Fenix
just a guess, but im thinking you can come off that way sometimes, but your still a caring sensitive person on the inside

10:55pm R
wow, very dead on
a lot of people think i am a bitch til they get to know me, if they are that lucky!

10:59pm Fenix
you can be a hard person to get to know, but tend to have a close inner cirlce of friends, to which your very loyal
far as i can tell

10:59pm R
wow!

10:59pm Fenix
i have espn

11:00pm R
lol

11:00pm Fenix
have you seen our site yet?

11:00pm R
yeah, very nice

11:00pm Fenix
cool, if you said you hadnt, youd so be fired :)

11:00pm R
lol

11:01pm Fenix
hay, can you salsa?

11:01pm R
never had lessons but can fake it pretty well!

11:02pm Fenix
hnnn,someone needs to get out more. i will teach you some things next time we meet

11:02pm R
lol
it's dancing, i am a natural when it comes to any format of it!

11:03pm Fenix
im so not buying it. you can dance on water though, give ya credit there

11:03pm R
hmmmm....

11:04pm Fenix
i didnt say "walk on water"

11:04pm R
i have been dancing since i could walk....

11:04pm Fenix
dont get a big head yet missy

11:04pm R
i have been choreographing for about 9 years now too

11:05pm Fenix
thats cool. any vids on youtube?

11:06pm R
not sure...i never video them but friends and people in the audience may
i choreograph for waterskiing teams
and the individual girls competitions

11:06pm FEnix
is that your passion?

11:07pm R
i love dancing and singing those are my passion for sure!

11:07pm Fenix
oh!
i so forgot
before i moved
you were on this sat night kareoke thingy

11:07pm R
lol!
where u could vote?

11:07pm Fenix
i know im right
ya, that one
we already proved i have a better memory ;)
how did that go?

11:09pm R
some redneck woman won...it was a popularity thing and for people who had enough people to call in and vote...it was stupid

11:10pm R
friends have been pushing to try out for AI for years now!

11:10pm Fenix
and?

11:10pm R
i think i will the next auditions they hold

11:11pm Fenix
go for it
ever heard the story of how rocky go tmade?

11:12pm Fenix
i think i will
no

11:12pm Fenix
oh, you goitta see this
[url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ywuse55qU2A[/url]
its about living your dream

11:13pm R
i will have to watch another time

11:13pm FEnix
ok, youd better! there will be a quiz

11:13pm R
have to keep speakers low
lol
i'll take notes

11:14pm FEnix
if you do really good or really bad....theres some sort of reward

11:14pm R
lol, ok!
send it to me in an email

11:16pm Fenix
i so love jumping through hoops for you :)

11:16pm R
i know :)

11:16pm Fenix
maybe i will get a milk bone of something

11:16pm R
maybe

11:16pm Fenix
and you can pat me on the head
and feed me

11:17pm R
gizmo get greenies not milkbones...i will treat you the same as my other dog!

11:17pm Fenix
can you cook?

11:17pm R
yep

11:18pm FEnix
very nice
great success

11:18pm R
lol
and i clean too
all set for stepford!

11:18pm Fenix
do you do windows?

11:19pm R
if i have to!

11:19pm Fenix
hahaa, your wayyy to feisty for that

11:19pm R
is this a job interview?

11:20pm Fenix
is that a shit test? ;)

11:20pm R
cooking, windows, dancing...
just checking?
or maybe u r writing me a personals ad!

11:21pm FEnix
the dancing thing, i wanted to know
i learned how to salsa here in dallas
its a lot of fun
personals ad, no way!
i meet people in person

11:22pm R
lol

11:22pm FEnix
i didnt have the balls to approach back then

11:22pm R
yeah, so far that is not working out so well!

11:23pm FEnix
giving me a hard time now?:)

11:23pm R
of course, it's what i do

11:24pm FEnix
well, we already established im not like the rest of the guys

11:25pm R
u never have been

11:25pm Fenix
ok, I'll bite. what do you mean by that?

11:26pm R
u have never been the typical guys...u have always been uniquie
think i spelt that wrong
oh well it's late and the brain is shutting down

11:27pm Fenix
i had to think of the song wheni spelled babanas earlier, hahaha
errr bananas

11:27pm R
lol!

11:27pm FEnix
ending the convo first. very "the rules"
i like it
means you want me to chase ;)
but thats all you get for now

11:28pm R
lol, ok

11:28pm Fenix
i can see your head swelling up from here

11:28pm R
nah, not me
it was already 10x bigger thanit should be

11:28pm FEnix
hey now, you have always been unique yourself
blaze your own trails

11:29pm R
see that is how i was gonna spell it!
lol

11:29pm FEnix
woulda coulda shoulda
anyhows, i gotta get my beauty rest

11:29pm R
me too
ttyl

11:29pm FEnix
nite

[Guest]

Very interesting, I'm glad you posted this.

Since you didn't ask for advice I'm not going to go into a lot of detail but I thought I would comment on a couple things I noticed.

One is your mention of shit tests. I don't think calling out a test is the best response, because it can appear insecure, regardless of whether it's a test or not. And in general it seemed like you were giving commentary on your breakdown of the conversation while it was happening, calling out hoops, ending the conversation first, etc. I don't think that's helpful. Imagine if a girl did that to you. If it were me I would be annoyed, even if she's right. In fact, especially if she's right.

Another thing is I think you could sound more personable and more human if you speak more from what Juggler calls "the I perspective." Girls (or most people for that matter) will allow the conversation to be about them, or about third party things or events, but it doesn't really build a connection if you don't talk about yourself to some depth. Which doesn't mean super philosophical, but even just a short anecdote that involves some feelings, which she will invariably relate to. In my experience, an additional benefit is it helps me not run out of stuff to say.

[Guest]

Vector, sent ya a link to currrent and past pics of the girl in question. I had seen the current pics, before this convo started, which is why i took the route i did. She was cute younger, but now, dayum son!
(that link is very private and confidential, for the obvious reasons)

I shared this because of the flow of the conversation, and for others to take bits and pieces they can use. Yes it's a looong read
but, i hope there's a takeawy from it. If I didnt think it was worth sharing, I woundlt have taken time to edit the names, by hand, :)