Social Reputation is Bullshit

[Guest]

I wrote a post on my blog, mostly to myself and the few others who I've observed getting hung up on preserving social reputation rather than improving game. It's long so read it only if you're interested. I want anyone in-field to call me on my bullshit if I ever get hung up on this, which I sometimes still do. Thanks.

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Give me a silent hurrah here if you've ever been concerned about your social reputation when you're out doing approaches. If you've ever thought, "hmm, I would totally approach except I don't know if that girl knows the same people that I do." If you've ever been concerned that practicing game in the company of your male or female friends would make you look like a loser or make you lose value in their eyes. If you're scared of sarging out every set at a smallish party because you don't want to be seen as the weird pickup guy in your social circle.

I certainly have and I certainly still am mentally affected by the possibility of losing my entire social reputation to the stigma of being a "weird pickup guy with all the lines." To be honest, this is a big reason why I'm choosing to pursue natural unscripted game rooted in my state, rather than routine-based game, even though the latter may be more effective in the short run. Social circle situations work better when you're able to make girls attracted to you consistently by just being your better self without having to spit pre-rehearsed routines.

That being said, however, what would happen if you really did lose your entire reputation to your social circle? Bear with me here. It would be bad and all, but just how devastating would it be? I know two people who have literally committed mass social suicide and have never known it. They go around life blissfully unaware that almost every single girl they know calls them creepy behind their backs and every single guy laughs at them because of it. I'm not exaggerating. Personally I've actually been that guy to a lesser degree at one of my high schools back when I was overusing David D's cocky funny stuff.

But is being temporarily socially stigmatized in modern-day society really all that bad? The two people who I mentioned actually seem pretty happy with their lives. They're going to get laid eventually even though they do not consistently go out and do cold approaches. Everyone looks at these two with some small degree of contempt, thereby granting themselves a little feeling of superiority which bolsters their self-esteem momentarily, but after that they pass out of sight and out of mind. Really, what everyone cares about most is themselves, and while they may snicker and point fingers here and there, they truly do not care about what someone else's social situation is. Envy or laugh at? Sure. Actually care? No.

The point is that improving yourself with women is impossibly hard without exposing yourself to rejection. In fact, I'll venture so far as to say that the more hard-hitting rejection you face in your life, the better you'll do with women - period. It's a proportional relationship and there's no getting around that fact. If you're trying to learn how to get good with girls without any social repercussions (let alone without facing your fears), you might as well pack up and go home because there's no way it's going to happen. You're going to have to make a fool out of yourself over and over and over again until you get good. Yes, people you know are going to watch some of it. Some people might make fun of you for it. Other people might just think you're a total tool. This includes girls and guys, and as we know our first impressions can last us a lifetime, so it's quite possible they'll keep this perception of you forever. They might even be telling their future children "I once knew this guy who was a total tool, don't be like him!" with your mental portrait in their heads.

Well you know what? Fuck them. You're on the road to improvement in your own life, so who cares if five people or fifty people or five thousand people in the world think that you're weird because you're trying out new ideas that aren't congruent with yourself yet? In two years of consistently learning game, even if you manage to alienate every single person you come across and your existing social circle thinks you're less attractive than dog shit drenched in donkey piss, you'll be so good with people and so confident in your abilities that you won't give a damn. You'll have a new social circle anyway.

Sometimes losing or ruining your reputation can be the best thing that could ever happen to you. If your reputation is not noteworthy, you really have nothing to lose except the small sense of validation that you get from ridiculing the people in an even worse situation than you. Because when you have a certain reputation and a certain identity, you will tend to conform to that identity, which makes trying new things much harder.

So go wild, break boundaries, try new things, and have a blast on your journey to success. Who gives a FUCK what other people think? You're on your personal path to progress, and if you're going to let a few naysayers or a bit of social discomfort prevent you from realizing the goal that you've set for yourself, then you truly don't deserve to get it. There's so much talk about alpha male behavior in the community, but the true alpha male is the one who goes after what he wants with no apologies. If you can't even try, you deserve to stew in the stale broth of mediocrity with your fellow beta sheep-people, content to merely envy the lives of those who were braver than you in getting all that they ever wanted out of life. Thus is the world fair.

So you gamble your reputation when you do this. Is it worth more than your fate?

[Guest]

I feel you on this one. I've had some reluctance to approach sets around my friends, but I've found once I am open and honest and talk to them about why I'm trying to improve this part of my life. They are real supportive and even some of them are pushing me to do more approaches and practice around them. It seems to me if they are good friends they should understand or at least make an effort to understand.

[Guest]

win. word.