Do we ever get control of our emotions?

[Guest]

I don't know. This is a rambling session, my mind is wandering, so forgive my b.s. post.

In the book The Game, Mystery got One-Itis for his then girlfriend when they broke up, and he doesn't seem to have any shortage of women. Someone who has been in this awhile said there is only one girl right now that he is seeing that he would even consider dating and keeping around and he was on edge when he thought things were over between them. I was talking to another guy from the community today and he was telling me how he misses his ex girlfriend and ever since she left he let his place get dirty and hasn't cleaned and he thinks about her a lot still. I'm starting to think that we never really do get past one-itis or those type of feelings for someone. One of the reasons I joined the community was I felt like shit, things just kinda ended with my on and off girl and I thought she was totally awesome and I wanted her so bad, I wanted to get rid of the desperation feeling, that emptiness that comes with losing someone, but maybe that never really goes away. I guess you could say one of my goals for joining was to get rid of my emotions. Bad? Maybe, but I would rather it be that way so you don't give a fuck and when things end it doesn't faze you. You just move right on.

On a side note, I have noticed a lot of guys who have been in this awhile eventually end up with a single girlfriend or their goal is to find an exclusive girlfriend. I always made it my goal when meeting girls to find a cool one and make her my girlfriend, this is what most guys do, they want a girlfriend. I got into the community and kinda had a different perspective of things. Why have a girlfriend when you can have multiple fbs in a rotation and not have to deal with the relationship problems. Why not have mltrs? Then you hear stories about girlfriends cheating on their boyfriends like nothings happened, it occurs on a regular basis and most guys don't even know it. All this should probably turn me away from having an exclusive girlfriend, but even knowing this, I still would not mind having an exclusive girlfriend in a relationship right now. I don't know if I am still afc or have bad social programming. But I have noticed that a lot of guys are the same way, they really just want a cool, fun, interesting, badass, hot girlfriend that they can call their own. Maybe thats what we all are looking for here? Or maybe not, I don't know.

Sorry if I lost anyone in that post, just putting some of my thoughts out there.

[Guest]

Read my blog if you want to know the answer to your orginal question.

When I got into the game I wanted to be single for one year and shag a lot of girls.

Here I am quickly approaching that one year timeline. I can say I succeeded in this endeavor. Now I am ready to find someone cool enough I can devote my time to. I hope I find her because I must say I am sorta done being single and shagging all these girls. I am ready to hand some over to you sir.

[Guest]

You can get over a one-itis. GFTOW and see if you still have oneitis feelings....

As far as the second part, any of the goals are completely fine as long as it's coming from the position that YOU are choosing it. There's nothing wrong with being in an exclusive relationship if it's what you WANT **AND** it's not because you are afraid to be single cause you may never get laid again. THAT is AFC. (Guys even go to the extent of being married because afraid they wouldn't find another girl)

In retrospect having gone through all of those different scenarios, i think it's really valuable learning experience. There's a lot of things to learn to get to those different stages as well, so it's a good journey.

Also keep in mind, the game doesn't stop with the exclusive relationship, it only changes.

[Guest]

[quote1228666998=TopDog]
You can get over a one-itis. GFTOW and see if you still have oneitis feelings....



[/quote1228666998]
I myself don't have one-itis anymore (haven't had it since I got in the community), I was just saying I noticed some guys in the community seem to still get it. I was just wondering if this was a common problem or if it is only certain people that seem to get emotionally attached and have problems letting go.

[quote1228666998=TopDog]


Also keep in mind, the game doesn't stop with the exclusive relationship, it only changes.

[/quote1228666998]
True, the game is never over, even if you get married, you still have to be interesting.

[Guest]

Its not at all bad to still have feelings for someone as long as its healthy. Its what makes you 'human"! I still have strong feelings for a woman I was with for 15years. Yes I'm finally "over" her, but I will always care about her and think of her because she was a big part of my life for a long time. She has told me the same thing as well.

Its almost been a year since I got into the pua scene. My ultimate goal was to find a serious girlfriend who I was mentally and physically attracted to. But I knew I needed to work on improving my inner self and increasing my marketing potential. So over the last year I have had all sorts of girls, done the SNL thing, always kept 3-5 on the ho'line, etc. A long the way I have learned a ton about myself and what it is I need from a woman. Each woman I met taught me more about myself.

As I've accomplished my goals, I have also grown tired of the "random" girl thing. Its just not fulfilling to me. Yeah its a blast, but its the same thing over and over. Well I've finally found a girl who has all the things I'm looking for so I'm headed down the serious girlfriend route now. Its not too often a girl comes a long that really impresses me, so I'm not letting a good thing pass me by.

[Guest]

Good read-thanks to all who contributed. One itis-well, how bout some help in just getting past the LTR ones? Anything? I am believing that the only way to get past one is to get under another. I also believe that each woman can teach us all something new about ourselves. Thats what I'm going for.. And the more the merrier! I feel I can always learn a lot!!!

[Guest]

Second what Howie said... if you CAN'T get one-itis, you can't fall in love. If all you want is a good, endless FB rotation, you definitely don't want one-itis, but while that situation may fill a lot of typical guy needs, there are other needs that situation is never going to feel - ie, having someone you truly care about who returns the feelings. Top Dog's also right either goal is fine as long as it's what you want, not something you feel you're supposed to do or you feel you have no choice in.

The difference between most afcs and puas is that the afcs drift along and the relationships are mostly chance as far as what they get... most people end up settling for the best they think they can get because they don't really have a choice in what is coming their way... settling leads to unhappiness and bad endings. If you have good skills as a pua you should be able to get enough experience with women to know what you really want and don't want in one, have the ability to attract the ones you are looking for, and the knowledge that if the person ends up being not the right one you have options.

Me personally if I find that just right girl to get one-itis over I won't make myself hold back from that but I'm also enjoying the game until that happens ;)

[Guest]

I wanted to have options with women for the first time in my life. I'm not there yet. I want to be able to tell a girl to fuck off and get another one.

[Guest]

[quote1228792323=tx_troy]
I also believe that each woman can teach us all something new about ourselves. Thats what I'm going for.. And the more the merrier! I feel I can always learn a lot!!!
[/quote1228792323]

Very true. I only think i've realized this since i'm older but I can look back on all the girls i've dated and see that I've really taken something and learned something from each of them that has helped me realize who I want to be with.