Dallas PUA

so i have developed a DHV routine to build comfort and trust and i wanted to know if you guys agree with my reasoning...any critique, suggestions and/or comments would be greatly appreciated...

First off...some theory behind MM...Mystery states that displaying that youre a leader of men is a powerful tool and major attraction switch. It is my understanding that its pretty black and white; either you're a leader, or you're a follower (of course you can be both; a leader in one situation and a follower in the different situation, but not both in one specific scenario..) am i correct to assume this?

For those of you who have met me, you may have noticed that i wear a bright pink bracelet and a dark red DARE bracelet (you know the drug prevention program... which i have two DHV anecdotes to build comfort and trust). I never blatantly point it out as it would come off as try hard, but i figured that having such flamboyant accessories, a girl is going to grab my wrist one of these days and ask me why i wear those...in which my response would be...

(now bear with me, in my mind it goes alot smoother, but its hard to explain what im thinking with simple words...this is also based on the fact that you have triggered enough attraction and are now transitioning to Comfort or already in comfort...)

pua: hmmm, i dont know if i trust you enough to tell you..i just met you...
HB: c'mon you can trust me..im cool..blah blah blah
PUA: i tell you what, if i tell you, then you will have to tell me something about yourself..deal?
HB: deal!
Pua: well i still dont know..let me see..here do this (run a simple compliance test where kino is involved, something with hands or something)
HB: (she complies to the test)

pua: ok, you passed the trust test, so i guess its ok to tell you. the reason i wear my DARE bracelet is because while growing up, i saw some of my family and friends get involved in drugs and it literally destroyed their life. In HS, people were always trying to get me to do drugs, "just because everyone else was doing it. because it was the cool thing to do" but i always refused. i dont have a problem with people who do drugs, but i knew what drug abuse can do to a person, and i made a concious decision not do drugs, just because "it was cool." (everyone can relate to this as most smoked a joint or two in HS...but because i didnt go with the flow, i wasnt a follower...therefore i am a leader...your thoughts?)

PUA: and look how i turned out..i have a wondeful job, a good family, great friends and an awesome life (once again DHV, but doesnt come off as bragging or try hard, just reinforcing the moral of the story...)
HB: blah blah blah...
PUA: i cant believe i just told you that..but i just feel this connection with you...(this shows vulnerability and helps builds trust. if you trust her, then she in turns trust you..i actually saw this in one of mystery's videos...)

at this point, hopefully she tells you a story about herself and you guys can continue to build comfort...i think that this would be best used when you have the girl isolated and are trying to build a deep level of comfort....this may not be best used in a loud club, but maybe better for day 2??

another reason this builds comfort is because most of this is actually true. i have a cousin who OD'ed, i have an uncle locked up..so its congruent to my past...which of course i would add into the story when telling it...

Diclaimer: this HAS NOT been field tested yet...but i wanted to get your opinions on what you guys think...if the opportunity ever arises, i will have a response...i also have a story as to why i wear the pink bracelet, but thats another post for another day!

If anyone thinks this is good and wants to use it, go for it! I just ask that you tweak it up a little bit and make it personal to you..i say this because i know alot of us go to the same venues and i would HATE to use this on a girl only to have her heard it before; i would completely lose credibility and trust....

Sorry for the long post...i hope it was a good read..goodnight!! Opinions welcomed!!

Thats a big jump to go from not trusting her, to spilling your thoughts so openly about drugs. I"d question your congruency.

Also, the story is a little long winded and slightly boring. Women love it when someone makes them laugh. Your story just doesn't make me want to know more about you.

"and look how i turned out..i have a wondeful job, a good family, great friends and an awesome life"
If you were telling this to me, I'd think, yeah whatever slacker. At one point you told us that your family and friends were into drugs so that tells me they are pretty much losers! Then you flip it 180 and try and tell me you have a "good family" and "great friends". Which is it?

Tell stories that let the person figure out how great your are on their own. Never tell them!

This is a great story, esp since it's true.

A few comments:

One is I think independence and leader of men are not the same thing, the difference being whether you have followers. But don't worry about that. Leader of men is probably overrated, and in any case the story demonstrates that you have some experience in the real world dealing with some unpleasant stuff and coming out on top, which is I think more important.

Another potential tweak is "i have a wondeful job, a good family, great friends and an awesome life." Here you are telling her your evaluation, rather than telling her facts. Evaluations are always going to be harder for her to accept, rather than concrete facts, like for example if I said my ex girlfriend was really hot, versus my ex girlfriend was a model, or my ex girlfriend was really into gymnastics, or whatever. Instead of saying "I have a wonderful job," tell how if you hadn't broken from the peer pressure to do drugs "there's no way I would ever have the job I have now." (bait for her to ask what you do.) Instead of saying you have "great friends" perhaps draw a more specific picture, where the pot-heads from high school still live with their parents, whereas the friends you have now are all in college or whatever. Not those exact words, but the point is more specific and factual and let her draw the conclusion that you have an awesome life.

One other thing is there may be a big opportunity here for you to show something you're really passionate about. Having something you're passionate about is hugely attractive. Moreso than anything else. If you continue to be involved with DARE and you really do care about it, then by all means talk about it.

Another thing is the part where you get her to beg you to tell the story in the first place, may come off as a little awkward because she might have only a mild curiosity, and now you're asking her to promise to tell a story. You know it's a big part of who you are, but she doesn't. There's nothing wrong with launching into a big story, as long as you "check in" every so often, so it's not one big dry monologue.

HB: what's that bracelet?
PUA: I have this because I used to be around a bunch of people who blah blah blah
PUA: You've probably seen people doing some pretty stupid shit, right?
HB: yeah totally
PUA: See, the thing is, for me it seemed like [i]everyone[/i] was blah blah blah
PUA: blah blah, You seem like an independent-minded person, am I right?
HB: yeah!
PUA: Ok, so you totally know what I'm talking about, and blah blah..
PUA: blah blah blah, and my cousin blah blah blah, and it's really rough, like [i]really bad[/i] shit happens. You know what I mean?
HB: Yeah I totally know what you mean! My brother set my CareBear on fire once!
PUA: See, that's like the same thing, and it makes you a stronger person for it, blah blah..
...

One final thing, is attraction and comfort do not have to be strictly sequential. A story like this one contains elements of both attraction and comfort. I'd say you can tell it at any time, which is a good thing because you may not have a lot of choice as to when the subject comes up. It may come up on day2, or it might come up at minute 2. It's a good story. It's fine that it's "deep" and it can still work, even early in the interaction. But get rid of the trust test stuff.

Vector and UncleHowie have some pretty valid points with regard to the fact that you want to be careful not to launch into an unwarranted monologue.
Generally I'd say that the version you typed out would only be good after ALOT of comfort building and a significant amount of isolation time (after which this routine is most likely no longer necessary since she's probably already hooked).

My suggestion would be this:
Take this story, which has alot of depth, and make her get it out of you (instead of you offering it up)

Don't wait for her to ask about your bracelets...bait her into asking about them.
This is all about being smooth, and will always be about being creative with what you have in that very situation, but with practice its not so hard.

(check out a really good post on a related subject about direct baiting here...its a lounge posting:
[url]http://www.dallaslair.org/p/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?24213.post[/url])

example:
After opening the set move on to the subject of bracelets (I, personally, wouldn't use this as an opener, only maybe mid-set).
Not necessarily your bracelet....maybe hers....maybe shes wearing 10,000 of those little bracelets on one arm.

You: So tell me, what was going on in that cute little head of yours when you went in and bought 10,000 bracelets.
(Note this is an open-ended question....she can't answer 'Yes' or 'No'...so now you've opened an opportunity for a committed 2-way convo about bracelets)
Her: blah blah blah theyre cute and they go with anything blah blah blah
You: I like to keep mine nice, simple, and off the radar (hold your arm up against hers.....arms touching lengthwise = great kino)

Here she'll either qualify to your "nice/simple/off the radar" comment (in which case its safe to assume that she's already somewhat attracted):
Her: Oh, well I don't usually wear these. I just thought I'd try them out.

Or she'll completely miss the fact that you just called your bright pink bracelet "nice/simple/off the radar", and you might have to help her retardedness out a little bit:
You: See, (point to hers) yours screams Dork-Patrol!
(don't cut off a response she might give here to move on to the next line...just move on with a smile after she's said it)
You: (point to yours) but mine is subtle, sexy, and comes with a totally bland color.
(Note 'bland color' was the last thing I said....leaving her to call you out on it)

Or she'll give some minor test:
Her: Off the radar?! Its bright pink!
You: Yea, well this thing really means alot to me.
(say this with strong confidence....NOT with any kind of sorrow or negative energy)



So that last line in the 'shell give you a minor test' case brings me to my second point (which Vector briefly mentioned):
Never dish out the full story with all the details. Make her inquire.
To her this feels like attraction, so you can bet on it inducing more intrigue (and therefore more REAL attraction) about you.

In the last line of my example, I said that "the bracelet really means alot to me"....why? What could it mean? What's the relevance here?
She has to know, but you didn't tell her.
So she'll probably ask....

Her: "How so?"
You: "Well, its in honor of my cousin."
(At this point, if it where me, I'd play Captain-A.D.D. and notice something (or someone) over her shoulder almost as if to say I'm only going to talk about my cousin if you push me to).
Here you also give her the opportunity to decide whether or not she wants to hear more. If she does, she'll continue to inquire....and you'll continue to give her small tidbits of information until she's gotten the whole story.

By not giving the full story all at once, you've taken a monologue routine and turned it into a 2-way conversation AND you've induced more attraction by making her feel as though you two have a connection (the conversation you've both just spent time building mutual rapport with)

In the event that she doesn't inquire to hear more, don't worry about it or camp on that thought too hard. Its probably just time to move on to something else with her....like a blowjob in your car.

I say do the whole routine then whip out a joint and light her up ;0 j/k

lmfao @ WelshDrag, now thats funny!

good info guys...i will definitely make the notes and see if this works... i love the idea of baiting the girl and then creating a two way convo...

Thanks!!

Girls notice stuff like rings and bracelets. Once you hit the attraction level there is a good chance she will notice these bracelets on her own. I actually don't see anything wrong with your story. I don't think it is too long. I feel like it is an awesome comfort builder. Shorter is sweeter though so if you can reduce it a bit then yes that would be good.

Just a couple weeks ago I had two girls over. Somehow we got on the subject of drugs and I mentioned that I have never done drugs. They were both freaking out not seeing how this was possible. I have a really good backstory that is true that I won't go into here. I could tell after that story they were both even more attracted to me.



I used to wear rings and necklaces and bracelets and would also get questioned about them on a regular basis. They are great for convo but I realized I really don't like wearing that stuff these days.

You got some awesome advice from these guys.

Def don't tell the girl how awesome your life, job, friends are. This is a little try hard you will lose value in her eyes.

[i]pua: hmmm, i dont know if i trust you enough to tell you..i just met you...
HB: c'mon you can trust me..im cool..blah blah blah
PUA: i tell you what, if i tell you, then you will have to tell me something about yourself..deal?
HB: deal!
Pua: well i still dont know..let me see..here do this (run a simple compliance test where kino is involved, something with hands or something)
HB: (she complies to the test)

pua: ok, you passed the trust test, so i guess its ok to tell you. the reason i wear my DARE bracelet is because while growing up, i saw some of my family and friends get involved in drugs and it literally destroyed their life. In HS, people were always trying to get me to do drugs, "just because everyone else was doing it. because it was the cool thing to do" but i always refused. i dont have a problem with people who do drugs, but i knew what drug abuse can do to a person, and i made a concious decision not do drugs, just because "it was cool." (everyone can relate to this as most smoked a joint or two in HS...but because i didnt go with the flow, i wasnt a follower...therefore i am a leader...your thoughts?)[/i]

I'm with Vector, about getting rid of this. I wanted to explain my thought process on this though, Vectors may be different, but I doubt it. Congruence is just one of those "gut feelings".

In your example, its like you are counting on her to beg you for the ooey gooey prize in the bottom of the box, i.e. the story. After which you will then run some kino, tell her your heart melter, and run some compliance tests to see if she is compliant....

I don't think I've missed anything, if I have please correct me.

The major problem I see is that if she does this.... she's already attracted to the point where you don't even need to run a compliance test, DHV any more (for the time being), or get her all sappy (so you can run some more kino on her) assuming thats your goal, which I'm thinking it was.

If you do get a bite on this, and somehow missed the fact that she is jumping through huge ass hoops just to hear one of your amazing tales. As soon as you spill your story she'll be as turned off as you are with a 600lb woman lathered in whipped cream holding a turkey leg.

The reason? Congruence. Already mention.

How can the leader of men, not really know how to handle a woman? She's practically throwing herself at you thus far by "dying" to hear your stories, even though you just met, yet you won't escalate? Either you're gay, blind, or full of shit. Her brain will look for reasons to verify any one of those, and for your sake I hope you have nice shoes because thats virtually the only way you're still getting laid that night, possibly, provided everything else goes perfect, which judging by the start you would have just had, might not happen. Because lets face it, most women don't just lie down on the table and spread their legs, just so you'll notice them.

Depending on the type of relationship you are going for FB or LTR, you should be careful as to what frames you are using, the routine as it sits now, is a "boyfriend" type of discussion, not one night stand material.

I agree with alphamo if you are going to use it, have her pry it out of you. I have a game that is geared to getting people to talk about what you want them to talk about without you ever bringing it up. Get with someone who was in the framing class I did and have them go over it with you, all of them were excellent at it, and I'm sure they would be more than happy to help you, after all, that's what the community is for, you just have to find out who was in it ;)

Advice I have to offer,

-unless you already know what the outcome will be beyond 90%, don't hinge what you say next on an action from them.
-keep the type of frame you want in mind and build the conversation from there.
-remember (like Vector said) that Attraction, Comfort, and Seduction are built at the same time, not sequentially you can build 2 at the same time, comfort and seduction I like doing at the same time.
-If going with the SNL frame, read captain jacks stuff, only build enough attraction to reach the next step.
-with maintaining all of this, it's easy to become, "to into her" keep that in mind.

Man you nailed leaving open loops mixed with push pull in switching subjects and cutting threads... this alone shows you as the PRIZE as if you don't have to explain everything in one long string.

Society and school has taught us to make complete sentences and thoughts.. but the very act of not doing so generates interest.. much like leaving pauses in a sentence or cutting the sentence all together... THEN come back to it just when she is losing interest.

One WICKEDLY evil thing I love doing to a woman is a mixture of all the following techniques..

(Some are borderline NLP/Trance techniques)

-Revealing & Concealing
-Push & Pull
-Taking them on an emotional roller coaster (Why do you think soap operas are so damn popular and still being broadcasted on TV even though it's basically all the same shit?)
-Intentional Undermining
-Undermining compliments she gives or if you're giving we call these negs
-Showing and the undermining your care for her
-Intentionally undermining compassion and sincerity..

Alot of this is thanks to a practical guide to NLP and real world seduction book I found last year.

Most people witnessing this interaction would say "Wow.. what a dick" .. but what they don't know is the very fact of these actions builds interest, respect and sexual chemistry.