Eye contact differences between males & females

[Guest]

I have two kids, a daughter, 9 and a boy, 5. I have noticed this and I wonder if it's some sort of instinctual thing.

The boy, when he talks to me, he never looks at my face. He says stuff while looking down at the ground or anywhere else besides my face when he's talking to me.

The girl, on the other hand, she always looks into my eyes when she talks to me.

My theory is that this is what we refer to as woman's intuition. Women naturally look at someone's face when they speak to them and men are less inclined to do so. What do they say, like, 90% of all communication is unspoken, and most of that is in the face.

Me personally, I was pretty shy before the divorce and I've had to force myself to improve on a lot of things, especially being able to initiate conversation and hold better eye contact. Looking someone in the eye when talking to them does not come naturally for me.

So guys, does eye contact come naturally for you? Or is it something you've had to think about and consciously work on?

[Guest]

Not natural for me but through reading about it and being self-aware you should easily be able to move past this. Direct eye contact is an IOI from you and from her.

[Guest]

[quote1226377378=Alphagame]

So guys, does eye contact come naturally for you? Or is it something you've had to think about and consciously work on?
[/quote1226377378]

it's something i've become keenly aware of(and worked on) after discovering the community. i realize it now whether it's MY eye contact or someone else's eye contact to me. And i'm much more conscientious of my eye contact/body language(i know you didn't call that out specifically, but i'll lump that in...)

It doesn't matter whether it's a girl at a bar, the waitress at the restaurant, the cashier at the grocery store, or my boss at work, or my direct reports at work, it's really interesting when you tap into reading body language/eye contact to help gauge and lead the interaction...

[Guest]

I've been working on eye contact, and its working really well to bully people around at work, lol. A politician was yapping about me over some bullshit and a coworker commented on how I beat him up with eye-contact. The politician hasn't flexed on me since.

[Guest]

Eye contact can be used as a great intimidation tactic as well! Only time its natural for me is when I'm pissed at somebody.

[Guest]

I became very aware of eye contact early on when I joined the community. In fact I had read about the importance before I ever even sarged.

I mainly look for it from afar as an IOI and will maintain it with the girl until she breaks.

When I am talking to a girl though at a bar I almost always watch her lips. I am pretty bad at maintaining eye contact when in set. But every time I do look up she is bam staring right at me. Girls just do it naturally.

Incase you don't know if you want to maintain awesome eye contact just look into one eye. I read somewhere that it is impossible to look at both eyes at the same time so just focus on one of her eyes and she won't be able to tell.

[Guest]

I've worked with a couple people here on eye contact. I've naturally been one to look people in the eye/face since I was a kid. I believe it's partially due to the personality of the person, and partially due to gender differences.

Women have a natural acknowledgement of persuasion/manipulation with eye contact and facial expression. Men do not have near as much control with this outside the emotion of anger.

If your son is more of a timid person, looking you in the face will rarely happen, unless angered or under intense reprimanding (basically when forced to.) The girl will only look away when she is uncomfortable.

My abnormal child psych class in college went in to this A LOT...and they learned how to observe serial killers and their eye contact, facial expressions from watching children...since children act in more simplistic forms of our own interactions...and serial killers act upon primal urges or something...I don't remember it all off hand, but I could probably find my notes on it. It's super interesting stuff though