"Me too" vs "You too"

[Guest]

We have all heard it before. One of the biggest reasons a girl gives when asked why she is so in to a guy she knows is "WE HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON."

Almost paradoxically, it is common community wisdom that seeking out things in common, or "rapport seeking" if you will, lends itself to a quick blowout early, and to chumpy "AFC" behavior later in the game.


So are girls just crazy and have no idea what they like? Not in this case. It's a matter of finer distinction.

In this post I am going to show you how to quickly and easily to create this effect the CORRECT way as opposed to the chumpy try-hard way. One of my "how grimm stays in sets for hours" secrets that's getting passed on before I leave.

Seek out commonalities. You're allowed. But do it from a "you too" frame, as opposed to a "me too" frame. What do I mean?

I mean your world is SOLID and unchanging. Hers is flexible and pliable. Mold her, frame her, in to YOUR world. OK here's a practical example...

CORRECT...

PUA: I like cheese. You sound like you're from Wisconsin so you probably like cheese too.

(notice that this is a hoop. You always give her a CHOICE to comply or not.)

GIRL: Yeah I do! (bingo, you have attraction. if she doesn't comply, see the thread about how to handle compliance)


INCORRECT:

GIRL: I love this song

PUA: Awesome, I love this song too!

GIRL SHOOTS THE "HELP ME" LOOK TO HER GIRLFRIEND


This will get you blown out, or at least lose a ton of value.

The correct formula is to A.) State something you like, value, believe, etc. B.) Tell her she seems like she likes it too C.) Give a halfway decent reason D.) look at her like you expect her to comply.


That's really it. Very easy. Cheers.

[Guest]

Thx peter - you know just cuz your moving doesn't mean you gotta be a stranger :) see ya in a bit

[Guest]

Generally, I would say commonalities are not required, but they do help. Like good looks are not required, but having them is better than not having them.

That said, the me too vs. you too is an excellent distinction and a great way to think of establishing commonalities in a non-supplicating way.

I would say that this very roughly fits Mystery's "bait-hook-reel-release" model of qualification, but what's important is not the form. What's important is the reasons behind it, which you articulated well.

[Guest]

I agree that commonality is a helpful tool, but not critical. good point.

True, there are some similarities with Mystery's "bait-hook-reel-release" model, but some differences as well. The difference with Mystery's bait hook reel release is that he is trying to get a girl to DHV to him, so that he can reward. I feel it has a weakness in that it might come across as bullshit since you are reacting to her answer whereas with my way you are preempting it.
\\ Bait Hook Reel Release...

PUA: What nationality are you? (bait)

Her: FRENCH

You: Seriously? No WAY!!! The girl I had the biggest crush on in high school was French! I can't even talk to you now.


My way is a little bit more alpha in that it sucks her in to your frame, and I feel the qualification is a bit more believable...

PUA: I think french girls are crazy hot. You sound french.

Girl: I AM french

PUA: light kino as reward