Dallas PUA

This is one social skill that I have never had. I usually just kind of let shit wind down until there is nothing more to say (which is what the other person is likely doing). Unless I really have something to do or somewhere to go I will do this, sometimes I will sit and listen to BS even if I am in a rush (I'm such a nice guy).

I think this is probably a pretty common problem (either that or the world really does love small talk and discussing the weather). For me though, it actually makes me want to talk to people less (and is one of the main causes of any kind of social / approach anxiety that I have).

Is there any way around this without using some cliche bullshit excuse or coming off as being rude? How do you deal with it?

In what setting are you talking about? Meeting women at bars? or at work or what?

At a bar you can use PC's line "Hey it was nice nice talking to you, I gotta get back to my friends" or something like that. I use that when I run out of stuff to say.

You're well within your right to walk away from a conversation with someone you just met. Personally, I take a lot of liberties when it comes to being rude, especially at a club, but I'll usually just say "well I'll let you go, but it was great meeting you." and smile big, shake hands, and that's it, regardless where we are in the conversation. unless i'm drunk, then i might just walk away.

Do you generally have trouble being assertive?

[quote1221096076=Rembrandt]
In what setting are you talking about? Meeting women at bars? or at work or what?

At a bar you can use PC's line "Hey it was nice nice talking to you, I gotta get back to my friends" or something like that. I use that when I run out of stuff to say.
[/quote1221096076]


Both. At work my boss will go on and on about bullshit and I feel like I just have to let him spout off. There is another guy who is very nice but everyone avoids him (and we all save eachother from him) because if you start talking to him he will go on forever.

Outside of work it can also be an issue regardless of if I am enjoying the interaction or not.

A week ago I was at the office of my storage place and I got into a really cool conversation about drugs, booze, city living and zoo animals. It was good but it went on too long and I had other shit to do. Literally and figuratively. Some people just filibuster and its hard to cut them off without being rude.

Then this week I went back there to update some paperwork and we got to talking about home repairs and crap and he went on and on about his past work experience which was boring the fuck out of me. After like 15 minutes he finally took a breath and I said "well, I gotta take off... cya later". When really, I felt like cutting him off about two minutes in by yelling "STOP! THIEF! You are stealing valuable moments of my life that I will never get back!"

I guess what I mean is, is there a way to just shut someone down mid-sentence without being rude or using some bullshit excuse?

[quote1221096704=grimm1111]
You're well within your right to walk away from a conversation with someone you just met. Personally, I take a lot of liberties when it comes to being rude, especially at a club, but I'll usually just say "well I'll let you go, but it was great meeting you." and smile big, shake hands, and that's it, regardless where we are in the conversation. unless i'm drunk, then i might just walk away.

Do you generally have trouble being assertive?
[/quote1221096704]

I am probably overthinking it. I'm glad you raised the question about being assertive. When I think about it like that, standing around listening to shit when you don't want to is kind of a bitch move. I prefer not to be rude but ultimately when I think about it I don't care all that much (outside of a work setting).

this is retarded, just have somewhere to go.

Hey, I have to jet...I have to:
kill a hooker
map the genome
chop up a corpse and make chili
cry
listen to prince
cross dress
make love to animals
masturbate with a cheese grader
worship satan

Set your phone up to where you can push a button and it will ring. Then just say Ohh I have to take this call.

Or just pick up your phone and be like ohh I have to get this and just start having an imaginary conversation.

With the boss...well you might just need to put up with it. That one is a little tricky.

My favorites (work probably only in bar or club settings -- or parties)

1) "Wait right here. I'll be right back." (But you don't necessarily keep your word!)
2) "Excuse me, I have to go find my friends."
3) "Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom."
4) Just get distracted by something else and wander away.