LOL I think it was my first time at Blackfinn's with PC and Grimm and others...
It's that girl I number closed. Not the girl I kissed that night... (I was pissed, I didn't take things further after that...)
She and I have been messaging on and off, but I was always the one to initiate the conversation.
About a week and a half ago, I texted her again with some funny comments and etc. We did some text battle for long time. I tried to set up a day 2, and said something like... "I'm going to do xxxxx, on thu and sun. You should come with me on either day."
Her: sorry can't! working.
Me: Ah that sux. you always work. We can hang during afternoon.
Her: I sleep durign afternoon.
Me: What?! I am not goin to sleep with you. I don't even know you very well yet.
Her: No, I sleep during afternoon and work at night.
Me: Don't get any ideas. blahblahblah
Her: Not gettin any ideas. I am goin to concert on friday and it's a date.
Me: You didn't have to rub it in. blahblah
At this point, I am like wtf? Why would she say this shit?
I said somethin bout I will back off and leave her alone.
(cuz that is what she seem like tryin to say.)
then she texts me saying, "Grow up!"
Her:and I wasn't rubbin it in. I was juss being honest. I am off on fri and goin on a date.
Me: I thoguht u were tellin me to back off.
Her: No, I was just saying and I am all about making new friends.
It's been about a week and a half that we ended a text message like this.
WTF seriously. She doesn't even know what I am about and wants to be LJBF.
I thoguht we had fun at club. She gave me kisses on my cheek and hug before she left the bar.
She also told me to call her. So what do yall think? I think this is so strange.
Dallas PUA
The Pickup Artist Playground
Funny Convo with a HB
8 posts
• Page 1 of 1
by Guest » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:14 pm
Sleek,
I'll give you my breakdown my friend. It's meant to help you, I think you did awesome that night getting the number. My comments in CAPS!
Me: "I'm going to do xxxxx, on thu and sun. You should come with me on either day." ---FINE, BUT EVEN BETTER WOULD BE TO ONLY GIVE HER ONE DAY, OR REWORD IT 'YOUR CHOICE, YOU CAN COME WITH ME TO XXX ON THURSDAY OR ON SUNDAY?'
Her: sorry can't! working. THIS ISN'T A REJECTION...
Me: Ah that sux. you always work. We can hang during afternoon. --- BAD. THIS COMES ACROSS AS EMOTIONALLY REACTIVE AND SLIGHTLY SULKY, YOU ARE BASICALLY FRAMING HER ANSWER AS A REJECTION OF YOU EVEN THOUGH IT WAS NOT. BETTER ANSWER WOULD JUST BE 'WORKING?' OR SOMETHING FUNNY 'I THOUGHT SLAVERY WAS ABOLISHED IN THIS COUNTRY LOL'
Her: I sleep durign afternoon. NOW SHE IS DEFENSIVE, YOU'RE LOSING POINTS. YOU ARE MAKING HER CHOSE BETWEEN YOU AND HER NORMAL LIFE...
Me: What?! I am not goin to sleep with you. I don't even know you very well yet. - UNCALIBRATED RESPONSE. SHE IS PROBABLY SLIGHTLY ANNOYED AT THIS POINT, AND SO A JOKE IS UNWELCOMED.
Her: No, I sleep during afternoon and work at night. SHE IS POLITELY REJECTING YOUR JOKE
Me: Don't get any ideas. blahblahblah YOU'RE PUSHING...
Her: Not gettin any ideas. I am goin to concert on friday and it's a date. SHE'S OUTRIGHT REJECTING YOUR JOKE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT.
Me: You didn't have to rub it in. blahblah AT THIS POINT, IT'S BASICALLY OVER. SHE'S GONE.
At this point, I am like wtf? Why would she say this shit?
I said somethin bout I will back off and leave her alone.
(cuz that is what she seem like tryin to say.)
then she texts me saying, "Grow up!"
Her:and I wasn't rubbin it in. I was juss being honest. I am off on fri and goin on a date.
Me: I thoguht u were tellin me to back off.
Her: No, I was just saying and I am all about making new friends.
SORRY DUDE :) WELL IT'S ALL ABOUT LEARNING, AND YOU'RE AN AWESOME FUCKING GUY AND ONE DAY YOU WILL EAT GIRLS LIKE HER FOR BREAKFAST FOR REAL.
I'll give you my breakdown my friend. It's meant to help you, I think you did awesome that night getting the number. My comments in CAPS!
Me: "I'm going to do xxxxx, on thu and sun. You should come with me on either day." ---FINE, BUT EVEN BETTER WOULD BE TO ONLY GIVE HER ONE DAY, OR REWORD IT 'YOUR CHOICE, YOU CAN COME WITH ME TO XXX ON THURSDAY OR ON SUNDAY?'
Her: sorry can't! working. THIS ISN'T A REJECTION...
Me: Ah that sux. you always work. We can hang during afternoon. --- BAD. THIS COMES ACROSS AS EMOTIONALLY REACTIVE AND SLIGHTLY SULKY, YOU ARE BASICALLY FRAMING HER ANSWER AS A REJECTION OF YOU EVEN THOUGH IT WAS NOT. BETTER ANSWER WOULD JUST BE 'WORKING?' OR SOMETHING FUNNY 'I THOUGHT SLAVERY WAS ABOLISHED IN THIS COUNTRY LOL'
Her: I sleep durign afternoon. NOW SHE IS DEFENSIVE, YOU'RE LOSING POINTS. YOU ARE MAKING HER CHOSE BETWEEN YOU AND HER NORMAL LIFE...
Me: What?! I am not goin to sleep with you. I don't even know you very well yet. - UNCALIBRATED RESPONSE. SHE IS PROBABLY SLIGHTLY ANNOYED AT THIS POINT, AND SO A JOKE IS UNWELCOMED.
Her: No, I sleep during afternoon and work at night. SHE IS POLITELY REJECTING YOUR JOKE
Me: Don't get any ideas. blahblahblah YOU'RE PUSHING...
Her: Not gettin any ideas. I am goin to concert on friday and it's a date. SHE'S OUTRIGHT REJECTING YOUR JOKE BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING IT.
Me: You didn't have to rub it in. blahblah AT THIS POINT, IT'S BASICALLY OVER. SHE'S GONE.
At this point, I am like wtf? Why would she say this shit?
I said somethin bout I will back off and leave her alone.
(cuz that is what she seem like tryin to say.)
then she texts me saying, "Grow up!"
Her:and I wasn't rubbin it in. I was juss being honest. I am off on fri and goin on a date.
Me: I thoguht u were tellin me to back off.
Her: No, I was just saying and I am all about making new friends.
SORRY DUDE :) WELL IT'S ALL ABOUT LEARNING, AND YOU'RE AN AWESOME FUCKING GUY AND ONE DAY YOU WILL EAT GIRLS LIKE HER FOR BREAKFAST FOR REAL.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:36 pm
Thx grimm!! I see now where I went wrong. Thx for ur break down man. It make sense!!
Haha thx man. You're an awesome, too! I am glad I got to sarge with you that night. We need to sarge together again. I think I still need to do lots work before I eat girls like her for breakfast for real. :P
I'm excited bout Austin man. Hope you are, too.
Haha thx man. You're an awesome, too! I am glad I got to sarge with you that night. We need to sarge together again. I think I still need to do lots work before I eat girls like her for breakfast for real. :P
I'm excited bout Austin man. Hope you are, too.
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Aug 19, 2008 10:54 pm
Honestly I think the problem lies in your text game. You are going sexual with very little basis for it. I would recommend to scrap the sexual shit until and just being light and funny for awhile until you get good results. Going sexual awkwardly can fuck up a lot of good game you may have laid prior. Trust me, I have done it plenty of times ;-)
[blockquote]About a week and a half ago, I texted her again with some funny comments and etc. We did some text battle for long time. I tried to set up a day 2, and said something like... "I'm going to do xxxxx, on thu and sun. You should come with me on either day." [/blockquote]
Leaving both days open makes you seem a bit desperate. This isn't a huge deal but I think it is better to fish for what days are good for them and then plan it. For instance, I may say:
Me: We should hang out this week
Her: ok, sure, yes (whatever)
Me: What days are good for you?
Her: Wednesday is girls night, and Friday I am hanging out with my sis but otherwise I am free
Me: Cool, I gotta do X on Thursday and Friday but let's make it Sunday at 8
Her: Okay
Me: Just come to my place and I'll take us from there.
From here she will probably ask you what you are doing (I always say it is a surprise and tease her about not being able to take it and then text her my address). The day of I text her something like "BTW, make sure to eat something, and there is a dress code...wear a skirt and some comfy shoes." I adapted this from Brad P. It will serve to remind her of the date and increase the intrigue. The skirt request is for easy access.
Alternatively, I know some people try to bait girls into saying something sounds cool and then inviting them. I don't do this very often but I think the key is to text a description of this amazing place you are going to but don't say what it is. Then, if she expresses interest, invite her.
[blockquote]Her: sorry can't! working.
Me: Ah that sux. you always work. We can hang during afternoon.[/blockquote]
VERY needy! You show that you are disappointed even though you had supposedly planned some fun high value thing to do. It is not congruent and betrays that you were using it as bait to get her out with you. If she says she is working then say "Cool, no problem, I'll take notes for you ;-). That is just off the top of my head BTW I have not field tested it. Drop the convo there and reinitiate a couple days later. I personally would NOT jump very quickly to another date request unless the next conversation goes really well.
[blockquote]Her: I sleep durign afternoon.
Me: What?! I am not goin to sleep with you. I don't even know you very well yet.[/blockquote]
Okay, this line is not necessarily bad but it comes out of nowhere and it definitely is not gonna fool a girl. She knows you are writing that to make things sexual and it seems odd because no one would actually misunderstand her statement as a come on. Your misinterpretations have to be at least somewhat realistic (again, I have learned this the hard way and have fucked up stuff over text fairly recently by going sexual with little context. The odd thing for me is I can usually pull it off in person but not over text).
[blockquote]Her: No, I sleep during afternoon and work at night.
Me: Don't get any ideas. blahblahblah[/blockquote]
Here you are just grasping at straws. It didn't work the first time and this time there is even less ground on which to base your statement.
[blockquote]Her: Not gettin any ideas. I am goin to concert on friday and it's a date.
Me: You didn't have to rub it in. blahblah
At this point, I am like wtf? Why would she say this shit?
[/blockquote]
Honestly, the date may or may not be true but her intentions are the same either way. She is trying to get you to back off because you came on too strong and without any reason sexually. Even if you had her attracted when you met her, she probably lost attraction due to the lack of calibration. I am not trying to be harsh here but I really think that is what happened.
[blockquote]I said somethin bout I will back off and leave her alone.
(cuz that is what she seem like tryin to say.)
then she texts me saying, "Grow up!"
Her:and I wasn't rubbin it in. I was juss being honest. I am off on fri and goin on a date.
Me: I thoguht u were tellin me to back off.
Her: No, I was just saying and I am all about making new friends.[/blockquote]
What she is saying here is that you are pouting. And it does come off that way even if that wasn't your intent. Remember, be non-reactive! You were super reactive and it is a huge turn off. I had a day 2 planned last Thursday and I got a text 30 mins before she was suppossed to show up saying that her roommate was having issues and she had to do the friend thing. I could have been upset (and to be truthful I was a bit disappointed) but I did not let this show. I joked with her a bit and showed her that I didn't care. Then, today I had a date planned with a different girl. I got this text earlier and I think it will help illustrate how my being non-reactive helped.
Her: Why hello. I'm giving you a heads up that I might not be able 2 go tonight. I have a lot to do and I have to get it done today but I'm going to try to finish b4 8:30
Sal: (A couple hours later because I was legitimately busy) Hey there, I am swamped today too, how's it comin?
Her: I'm having problems...I'm kind of glad ur busy too. Didn't want to come across as wanting to avoid you.
Sal: Haha, no prob. Today was a beast! blah blah
She responded about how she could relate but never totally indicated if she would come or not. I just assumed she wouldn't and didn't contact her. I think this probably helped me because she sees that I have things to do too and my life doesn't stop for some random ass girl I met at the bar. Notice her response where she said she didn't want me to think she was avoiding me. She wouldn't have told me that if I would have responded to her initial message with disappointment, neediness, or desperation.
Another thing to note is that I even if you feel disappointed, you don't have to show it. I was a bit frustrated but I just had a relaxing night instead. Plus, my left hand is a total slut and it puts out on demand!
[blockquote]It's been about a week and a half that we ended a text message like this.
WTF seriously. She doesn't even know what I am about and wants to be LJBF.
I thoguht we had fun at club. She gave me kisses on my cheek and hug before she left the bar.
She also told me to call her. So what do yall think? I think this is so strange.[/blockquote]
Girls are like most people, the can only go off of what little they know about you. They don't have time to see the inner beauty of every person and have to make snap decisions. Her decision probably resulted from the fact that you displayed some negative qualities I mentioned above (neediness, desperation, etc.) I mean, think about how George Clooney would react to such a situation. He wouldn't get upset and this displays that he has options.
That all being said, I think you can learn a lot from this exchange--that is why I wrote such a detailed response. You are in the process of developing a better style of communication and it can be very painful to make such a change, but everyone on this board has experienced the temporary hell of self-doubt in relation to the opposite sex. You are not alone in that. Keep working at it and you will look back on your old posts and just laugh at how far you have come! Best,
-Sal
[blockquote]About a week and a half ago, I texted her again with some funny comments and etc. We did some text battle for long time. I tried to set up a day 2, and said something like... "I'm going to do xxxxx, on thu and sun. You should come with me on either day." [/blockquote]
Leaving both days open makes you seem a bit desperate. This isn't a huge deal but I think it is better to fish for what days are good for them and then plan it. For instance, I may say:
Me: We should hang out this week
Her: ok, sure, yes (whatever)
Me: What days are good for you?
Her: Wednesday is girls night, and Friday I am hanging out with my sis but otherwise I am free
Me: Cool, I gotta do X on Thursday and Friday but let's make it Sunday at 8
Her: Okay
Me: Just come to my place and I'll take us from there.
From here she will probably ask you what you are doing (I always say it is a surprise and tease her about not being able to take it and then text her my address). The day of I text her something like "BTW, make sure to eat something, and there is a dress code...wear a skirt and some comfy shoes." I adapted this from Brad P. It will serve to remind her of the date and increase the intrigue. The skirt request is for easy access.
Alternatively, I know some people try to bait girls into saying something sounds cool and then inviting them. I don't do this very often but I think the key is to text a description of this amazing place you are going to but don't say what it is. Then, if she expresses interest, invite her.
[blockquote]Her: sorry can't! working.
Me: Ah that sux. you always work. We can hang during afternoon.[/blockquote]
VERY needy! You show that you are disappointed even though you had supposedly planned some fun high value thing to do. It is not congruent and betrays that you were using it as bait to get her out with you. If she says she is working then say "Cool, no problem, I'll take notes for you ;-). That is just off the top of my head BTW I have not field tested it. Drop the convo there and reinitiate a couple days later. I personally would NOT jump very quickly to another date request unless the next conversation goes really well.
[blockquote]Her: I sleep durign afternoon.
Me: What?! I am not goin to sleep with you. I don't even know you very well yet.[/blockquote]
Okay, this line is not necessarily bad but it comes out of nowhere and it definitely is not gonna fool a girl. She knows you are writing that to make things sexual and it seems odd because no one would actually misunderstand her statement as a come on. Your misinterpretations have to be at least somewhat realistic (again, I have learned this the hard way and have fucked up stuff over text fairly recently by going sexual with little context. The odd thing for me is I can usually pull it off in person but not over text).
[blockquote]Her: No, I sleep during afternoon and work at night.
Me: Don't get any ideas. blahblahblah[/blockquote]
Here you are just grasping at straws. It didn't work the first time and this time there is even less ground on which to base your statement.
[blockquote]Her: Not gettin any ideas. I am goin to concert on friday and it's a date.
Me: You didn't have to rub it in. blahblah
At this point, I am like wtf? Why would she say this shit?
[/blockquote]
Honestly, the date may or may not be true but her intentions are the same either way. She is trying to get you to back off because you came on too strong and without any reason sexually. Even if you had her attracted when you met her, she probably lost attraction due to the lack of calibration. I am not trying to be harsh here but I really think that is what happened.
[blockquote]I said somethin bout I will back off and leave her alone.
(cuz that is what she seem like tryin to say.)
then she texts me saying, "Grow up!"
Her:and I wasn't rubbin it in. I was juss being honest. I am off on fri and goin on a date.
Me: I thoguht u were tellin me to back off.
Her: No, I was just saying and I am all about making new friends.[/blockquote]
What she is saying here is that you are pouting. And it does come off that way even if that wasn't your intent. Remember, be non-reactive! You were super reactive and it is a huge turn off. I had a day 2 planned last Thursday and I got a text 30 mins before she was suppossed to show up saying that her roommate was having issues and she had to do the friend thing. I could have been upset (and to be truthful I was a bit disappointed) but I did not let this show. I joked with her a bit and showed her that I didn't care. Then, today I had a date planned with a different girl. I got this text earlier and I think it will help illustrate how my being non-reactive helped.
Her: Why hello. I'm giving you a heads up that I might not be able 2 go tonight. I have a lot to do and I have to get it done today but I'm going to try to finish b4 8:30
Sal: (A couple hours later because I was legitimately busy) Hey there, I am swamped today too, how's it comin?
Her: I'm having problems...I'm kind of glad ur busy too. Didn't want to come across as wanting to avoid you.
Sal: Haha, no prob. Today was a beast! blah blah
She responded about how she could relate but never totally indicated if she would come or not. I just assumed she wouldn't and didn't contact her. I think this probably helped me because she sees that I have things to do too and my life doesn't stop for some random ass girl I met at the bar. Notice her response where she said she didn't want me to think she was avoiding me. She wouldn't have told me that if I would have responded to her initial message with disappointment, neediness, or desperation.
Another thing to note is that I even if you feel disappointed, you don't have to show it. I was a bit frustrated but I just had a relaxing night instead. Plus, my left hand is a total slut and it puts out on demand!
[blockquote]It's been about a week and a half that we ended a text message like this.
WTF seriously. She doesn't even know what I am about and wants to be LJBF.
I thoguht we had fun at club. She gave me kisses on my cheek and hug before she left the bar.
She also told me to call her. So what do yall think? I think this is so strange.[/blockquote]
Girls are like most people, the can only go off of what little they know about you. They don't have time to see the inner beauty of every person and have to make snap decisions. Her decision probably resulted from the fact that you displayed some negative qualities I mentioned above (neediness, desperation, etc.) I mean, think about how George Clooney would react to such a situation. He wouldn't get upset and this displays that he has options.
That all being said, I think you can learn a lot from this exchange--that is why I wrote such a detailed response. You are in the process of developing a better style of communication and it can be very painful to make such a change, but everyone on this board has experienced the temporary hell of self-doubt in relation to the opposite sex. You are not alone in that. Keep working at it and you will look back on your old posts and just laugh at how far you have come! Best,
-Sal
- Guest
by Guest » Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:03 pm
Thx sal!! I can honestly say that you prolly have taught me the most about text/online game since I started my journey as a PUA back in April 2008. I appreciate you for takin time to write detailed response man. I have learned a lot from this exchange. I am glad I post this up for yall to give me feedback. Because if I didn't, I probably wouldn't have learned anything from this.
- Guest
by Guest » Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:48 am
[quote1219242808=Sleek]It's been about a week and a half that we ended a text message like this.
WTF seriously. She doesn't even know what I am about and wants to be LJBF.
I thoguht we had fun at club. She gave me kisses on my cheek and hug before she left the bar.
She also told me to call her. So what do yall think? I think this is so strange.
[/quote1219242808]
I think Sal and Grimm covered the break down of your text game very, very well so I'm not going to elaborate any more on that aspect of your post. Instead, I'm going to focus on the quote above...
If there is ANYTHING I've learned from the Community it's that girls are FLAKY as hell. No matter how well you thought the set went, no matter what she said, or even what she did women are always at risk of changing their mind about the interaction and about you.
I can't tell you how many times I've made out with a chick only to never see her again...
I remember one time in particular. I bounced a chick from the venue we met at over to grab some breakfast, then we mugged down hardcore in my car...bj and all...I figured I was 'in.' Makes sense right? Wrong. Never saw her again, even after I spluged in her mouth. Sure we chatted back and forth via text, she even called me once or twice but for some reason she changed her mind about me. Could be that all she wanted was to mess around with some random stranger, dunno. The point is that even when you think you have them, that doesn't mean you have them.
Shit like this happens all the time. Hell I've even F-closed chicks that I never heard from again, but those were low investment f-closes on mine and their part (i.e. met at a party, fucked in the bathroom) and were very obviously just sex.
Don't worry about what's going on with them or why they didn't respond, it probably has zero to do with you...zero.
Like you said, for the most part they don't even know what you're all about...how could they?
Finally, just about every time I've ever had a girl tell me that I better call them or something along those lines they end up flaking. If a girl is into you, she should never have to actually tell you to call...she'll let you know via non-verbal cues that she wants you to call. Girls are awesome at communicating via eye contact, BL, and other non-verbal cues, so they should never have to 'say' that you should call unless of course they don't really want you to call.
WTF seriously. She doesn't even know what I am about and wants to be LJBF.
I thoguht we had fun at club. She gave me kisses on my cheek and hug before she left the bar.
She also told me to call her. So what do yall think? I think this is so strange.
[/quote1219242808]
I think Sal and Grimm covered the break down of your text game very, very well so I'm not going to elaborate any more on that aspect of your post. Instead, I'm going to focus on the quote above...
If there is ANYTHING I've learned from the Community it's that girls are FLAKY as hell. No matter how well you thought the set went, no matter what she said, or even what she did women are always at risk of changing their mind about the interaction and about you.
I can't tell you how many times I've made out with a chick only to never see her again...
I remember one time in particular. I bounced a chick from the venue we met at over to grab some breakfast, then we mugged down hardcore in my car...bj and all...I figured I was 'in.' Makes sense right? Wrong. Never saw her again, even after I spluged in her mouth. Sure we chatted back and forth via text, she even called me once or twice but for some reason she changed her mind about me. Could be that all she wanted was to mess around with some random stranger, dunno. The point is that even when you think you have them, that doesn't mean you have them.
Shit like this happens all the time. Hell I've even F-closed chicks that I never heard from again, but those were low investment f-closes on mine and their part (i.e. met at a party, fucked in the bathroom) and were very obviously just sex.
Don't worry about what's going on with them or why they didn't respond, it probably has zero to do with you...zero.
Like you said, for the most part they don't even know what you're all about...how could they?
Finally, just about every time I've ever had a girl tell me that I better call them or something along those lines they end up flaking. If a girl is into you, she should never have to actually tell you to call...she'll let you know via non-verbal cues that she wants you to call. Girls are awesome at communicating via eye contact, BL, and other non-verbal cues, so they should never have to 'say' that you should call unless of course they don't really want you to call.
- Guest
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