Qualifying

[Guest]

Qualifying-

Qualifying with statements such as:
- not bad.
- if you say so
- why do you say that?
- riggght.

The key to qualifying is to not give away what you want, and to get them to jump through your hoops. Qualifying with body language and facial expressions is a little trickier. The main goal however should be to judge whatever they say against your own internal rational thinking and feelings.

For instance, If I told you that bush is an idiot. You would either agree, disagree, or not have an opinion. Those are the 3 basic rules to qualifying. You either agree with the statement, disagree with the statement or have no opinion for or against. You could have some caveats but more or less you either agree or disagree.

Same concept when dealing with people.

The problem people have with this is that it is common for people to think that to build rapport with people you should find commonalities with them. And that is true, however, people often sacrifice their own ideals in order to build rapport with another.

Let me dispel the belief that finding commonalities means agreeing with everything they say. It is true that often times the fastest way to find commonalities is to have the same thoughts regarding similar issues, but that is only if it is true. If you don’t actually believe that bush is an idiot then disagree with me. Part of being a man is standing up for what you believe in, even if it means being confrontational.

Which brings me to this point. Confrontation, a man should know when to stand up and fight, and when to disregard. Part of being a man is not being afraid to get into a confrontation. That’s where the fire hardens you as a man, and as a person in general.

My brain farted and this is what came out.

Caio

[Guest]

Some of the girls who became attracted to me the fastest was because I disagreed with her on stuff.

Ecspecially very good looking ones.

[Guest]

If you think about it that makes a lot of sense. I'm guessing most guys just try to force commonalities with a girl so when someone has the balls to disagree with her it conveys all the right things. Plus, you can disagree with her in a teasing way and generate more attraction.

To add to Finesse's point about commonalities, I read somewhere that you should be seeking to understand where a girl is coming from even if you disagree. You could both be on opposite ends of an issue (in which case I would tease her) but you can still let her know you understand her point.

Lastly, a few months ago Priest responded to a thread on the PUA Sanctuary that was very relevant to this topic. Someone asked what to do if you can't find commonalities with a girl--does that mean you should stop pursuing her? Priest's response was great:

[blockquote]Who cares if she's different from you? Or if she's a vegan and you eat steak everyday? That shit doesn't matter in the least... THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS IS - does she exhibit the positive qualities that you look for in a girl?

I'm guessing you don't have a list... There's your first mistake. You should have a list personality traits that you require your women to exhibit. Here's the kicker, she will want to live up to those qualities!!! What girl wouldn't want to be smart funny independent etc etc???

The shit you are talking about is gold and you don't even know it! Commonalities DO NOT BUILD ATTRACTION, they kill it. What does the douche at the bar do? "where are you from, what did you do? Do you come here often?" he is trying to build commonalities and develop rapport and what does she do... She shuts the fuck down.

So if you are in isolation with a girl, and she is a life long ACLU member with a tattoo of hilary Clinton above her vagina, and you are a card carrying NRA member with a picture of George bush next to your bed... You should fuck that girl 100% percent of the time!

Differences build sexual tension! If this girl has nothing in common with you then you should be teasing her relentlessly! While escalating...

So basically, if yall have a ton in common, then she is the coolest girl you have ever met and yall fuck. If yall have nothing in common, then you should be teasing her about the reasons yalls marriage never worked out... But that you are going to sue for more child support cause being a single dad is harder than she thinks... And yall fuck!

The best sex will be with girls you almost dislike a little bit... This is because the sexual tension SHOULD be through the roof! Toss in an occasional "you should stop talking to me right now! Cause that dress is going to get you trouble".

It doesn't matter either way. The only thing that matters is that you respond to things appropriately! Commonalities = "you're so awesome" no commonalities = "its too bad you suck or I would totally throw over that table pull your dripping wet panties to the side and fuck you right here in front everyone like the naughty girl you are... Too bad you're a vegan bleeding heart fur saving liberal... I hate you Tongue"

Word

-Priest-[/blockquote]

[Guest]

This is one of those things in the community where I think guys get brain fucked. If a girls says she likes strawberries and you have to have an internal discussion about whether to agree or disagree, then you're fucked. You either like strawberries or you don't. I don't care who the girl is, there will be some things you agree on and other things you don't. In fact, disagreeing about some things will make the real commonalities be that much more genuine. She will see that and appreciate it. She knows when a guy is agreeing with her just to fuck her, and she knows when a guy is disagreeing with her just to fuck with her. She also knows when a guy has a strong sense of who he is and doesn't compromise his beliefs just to build rapport. That's the guy she's most likely to be attracted to.

As far as having a list of personality traits you require, I strongly disagree. Every girl is different. They're like snowflakes. They're so intricate, it's not like you're walking around holding your sqare peg looking for a square hole. If I had a list of traits I required from food, I would eat nachos for every meal. I never would have tried steak or cucumber sald or sushi or pho or tandoori chicken.